Kristina's Story

We've Moved!

2009-03-12T20:55:00.003-04:00

http://TheLandrumsBlog.blogspot.com

Moving Forward?

2009-03-07T10:36:00.009-05:00

Several phone calls back and forth between Robert and I yesterday consisted of, "You're sure?" followed by a text message to confirm in writing that he was indeed on board with another adoption. For those of you who have read my past posts, you'll know Robert wasn't the one who needed the push. We both want to add this little girl to our family, but the financial commitment scares me. We have less than a thousand dollars set aside for another adoption.

However, in my heart, I had already committed. Her picture is the background on my cell phone. I stepped out on Friday and shared with a close friend and co-worker our desire to adopt again (and she didn't faint!). I revamped our family blog and added a new header with all our pictures, including the little girl who would be our daughter.

Late last night I emailed the director of the organization that advocates to find families for these special needs children. I finally fell asleep after 3:30am. When I awoke this morning, I immediately reached for my cell phone to see if she had responded. And she had.

Because of the urgency of finding homes for these children before they are sent away to institutions, they require a financial commitment up front. The money goes into a fund that is returned to the adoptive family once they complete all their paperwork and submit their adoption petition to the Ukrainian government. It is reasonable and understandable. These children are living on borrowed time and need families who are in a position to move forward quickly to complete an adoption. "Our" little girl will be four next month. Four is the magic number that sends these precious children away from baby houses. Many do not survive the first year in these mental institution. If a family can commit to her, the orphanage director may be able to delay her transfer until the end of summer.

I emailed the director back and let her know we weren't in the position to make that commitment, but we would try. And with that, I went back to our family blog and removed the little girl's picture from our family header. I replaced it with a heart and "+1". Then I added a PayPal donation button to the sidebar. This process will be out of our hands. We are praying and asking God to open the door to the child who would be our daughter. Please pray with us.

With that said, we are moving. At least moving blogs. Kristina's Story was meant to chronicle our journey to adopt Kristina. God has seen that through. What was one orphan's story turned into the story of all of us. Please join us at our family blog to continue the journey.

Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
-Psalm 37:5

Confessions of an Unfaithful Daughter

2009-03-01T19:04:00.009-05:00

One of my blog friends emailed me about a week ago and asked me what my hesitation was with moving forward with this adoption. Even as I clicked away my reply on the keyboard, I realized how ridiculous my response was. I found myself arguing with my own reasoning. The only hesitation we have is the financial commitment that another adoption demands.

And yes, I know what some of you are thinking. We are the same people who adopted Kristina 15 months ago. The same people who God provided those adoption funds for. Finances couldn't be worse (yet we are thankful for what we have). The future couldn't be more uncertain (yet we know God directs our path). I laid awake from 2:30-4:30 last night thinking and praying. I tried to think of what I have of value that I could sell. There are no accounts to tap. Our savings are gone from our Mississippi adventure.

"What you need is a benefactor," Robert teased me as I was wrestling with the numbers in my head. My instant reaction was, "I do. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills." Yet putting that faith into action is easier said than done. This is the conversation that runs through my head. See what I'm dealing with?

We do not have the luxury of time either. The child we are praying over will age out of the orphanage she is in and, due to her disability, will be sent to an institution in a few months. It's not a place she belongs. It's not a place any child belongs. Taking decisive action is of the essence. Yet here I stand, terrified to move. If I could, I would call the facilitator and commit to this adoption tonight. If I could . . .

And Jesus said to him, " 'If You can?' All things are possible to him who believes."
Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help my unbelief."
-Mark 9:23-24

A is for Adoption

2009-02-24T21:17:00.006-05:00

My understanding of adoption, and specifically the true spirit of adoption, has been an evolving process. At the last church group we spoke to, I printed handouts that members could slip into their Bibles with a call to action, specific things they could do to minister to orphans. Robert proofread what I had typed up and quickly corrected one of my points, "Honey, you can't say God has called everyone to adoption."

"Yes, I can. He does call us all to adoption."

"But you can't SAY that God is calling each of them to ADOPT."

"And why not?"

Frustrated, he said, "Well, you just CAN'T."

I understood what he was getting at, but quite frankly, I do believe that Christians should be ministering to orphans by bringing them into their families. There is no clearer picture of God's redemptive love than this earthly action. So why is adoption often considered "plan B" for many families? If we as Christians believe that adoption falls to those who cannot conceive otherwise, then we have missed the message of adoption.

Adoption was always God's Plan A. It wasn't an afterthought in the redemptive plan for mankind. And perhaps what is just as humbling is WHO God chose to adopt. God chose the unwanted, the poor, the lame, the lowest of creation to redeem as his sons and daughters. That would be us, chosen to be heirs to the great King. There was nothing we brought to the table. Nothing that made us appealing. God chose us because of His boundless goodness.

There is a waiting list for healthy newborns. Families line up to adopt these precious children. But what about the others? In advocating for older child adoption, I found myself discouraged by families who would consider adopting an infant, but didn't feel as though they were 'equipped' for anything else. Yes, healthy newborns need families too, but we've misunderstood the true spirit of adoption if we limit our role in God's calling in this way.

I was praying to God about this and voicing my frustration months ago, when I distinctly felt Him question me about MY understanding of adoption. Would I be willing to adopt ANY orphan God placed in my path? What about another older child? What about a child of another heritage? What about a child with a disability? If I truly believed the spirit of adoption does not discriminate, then I wouldn't hesitate to say, "yes". But I examined myself and found fear. Was I 'equipped' to handle a child with a disability? Was I one of those potential adopters who put stipulations on a child that would join my family?

And then God reminded me that adoption isn't about the adopter. It's about the orphan. It's not about filling a void in a family. It's about filling a void in a fatherless child. It's about providing a family - safety, security, and acceptance in a hostile world. And God did a strange thing. He opened my frightened heart to the possibility of adopting a child with a disability.

I decided to test Robert on this issue and see what he thought, "I'm going to ask you a question and I don't want you to answer me right away. I want you to really think about what I'm asking you. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Who would you be willing to adopt? Any child?"

I barely got the word 'child' out of my mouth when he replied, "Any child."

"No! I told you to really think about it. Don't give me a gut response. Really think about what I'm asking. Would you be willing to adopt a child with special needs?"

This time he thought for about 10 seconds before he replied, "Yeah. Any child. They need families too, right?"

What does this mean for us? Can we meet the needs of a disabled child? Do we have the strength and resources? Of course. All those things come from God. We have many adoptive friends who have walked this path and adopted children rejected by their mothers, their homelands, and potential families because they weren't healthy infants. Their stories are inspiring testimonies to the goodness of God. In them we see the true spirit of adoption. We see what God intended. We see Plan A.

My brethren, do not hold your faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of personal favoritism. For if a man comes into your assembly with a gold ring and dressed in fine clothes, and there also comes in a poor man in dirty clothes, and you pay special attention to the one who is wearing the fine clothes, and say, "You sit here in a good place," and you say to the poor man, "You stand over there, or sit down by my footstool," have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become judges with evil motives?

Listen, my beloved brethren: did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?
-James 2:1-5

Unbreakable

2009-02-22T22:36:00.004-05:00

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.
For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.
Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?
And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Last Thursday night I was literally at the end of my proverbial rope. I was frantically trying to help Nathanael construct a mosaic for an ancient Rome project and Samuel cook Tiger Sweets for an ancient Egypt project. Somewhere in the midst of supervising wet cement pouring and cooking one of the oldest known recipes to man, I felt myself unraveling. Hannah still needed help with math, Kristina wanted to bounce ideas off of me for a project due next week, Joshua needed a special lunch packed for his field trip the next day, and a stack of ungraded essays beckoned impatiently from the other room. God has brought the above verse to mind when I've felt overwhelmed in the last few weeks. He has reminded me that I'm not alone.

Robert came in Saturday morning and I can honestly say "phew!". We are all so happy to have him here for a few days! We've easily fallen back into our comfortable routine. Robert and the boys watching old horror movies, Robert teasing Kristina like a smitten eight year old, the humor of filling up an entire row of pews at church. It's good to be together again.

Even with all there is to keep me busy, my heart has been heavy recently with adoption issues. We've been talking about adopting again for some time and so the topic isn't necessarily new. I immediately broached the subject to see where he was with all of it.

"Honey, I really feel burdened to return to Ukraine. I know the timing is terrible and finances couldn't be worse, but I really want to go."

"Okay."

"Okay? I mean, I'm not necessarily talking about returning to Odessa. I feel like there's another area I should visit with children in more dire circumstances."

"Okay."

It was the same nonchalance with which he greeted my suggestion about adopting an older child two years ago. Such a sweet man. He humors me, but I know he would buy the plane ticket tomorrow if we could and let me follow my heart. I am so grateful to have a husband who shares my desire to love these children.

And there is a child. This child may simply be another "Sophia" meant to lead our hearts in trusting God, but the child is there nonetheless. I've stared at the photo saved to my laptop repeatedly over the last month. I check my email constantly hoping for some further information or photos from other families who have recently visited the orphanage. Why now? Why am I so drawn? I hesitate to even share this, but I'm hoping you'll pray. Pray that God will make His will clear and fill us with faith for whatever He calls us to. It is not good that any child should be alone. Pray that God will provide a family for this child . . . to lift up, to keep warm, to protect . . . whoever that may be.

Can You Hear Me Now?

2009-02-15T21:10:00.003-05:00

Kristina has wanted a cell phone since she arrived here and we have told her "no" repeatedly for several reasons. Mostly, we didn't feel she possessed the maturity to handle the privledge. And we've made it a rule that whenever the kids insist that they "need" something, we put them off until they understand the difference between "want" and "need". Kristina still struggles with that one.

Nathanael and Hannah both have prepaid phones that they each purchased with their own money. They don't use the phones compulsively and they budget their minutes to ensure they keep their phones. Our kids don't receive an allowance. Any money they have, they earn. Kristina pointed to them and claimed it wasn't fair that they had phones and she didn't. Another thing not to say to me: "fair". I explained why we didn't feel she was ready for the responsibility and reminded her that she couldn't afford to buy one anyway.

Well, she saved. Last weekend she had enough to buy the cheapest prepaid phone available and a small pack of minutes to activate it. I had the phone taken apart and was typing the serial number into the online activation page when Kristina exclaimed, "Oh! My phone was made in Korea!" Confused over her enthusiasm, I looked up for more explaination. Seeing my perplexed stare, she explained, "My best friend was made in Korea!" I laughed to myself. Her best friend Isabelle at school is Korean.

Once I had her phone activated and setup, I turned it over to her with a overview of how things worked, how much text messages cost, and voice calls so she could keep up with her account. I reminded her that when her minutes were gone they were gone until she saved up enough to replenish her account. I wasn't thrilled about the whole thing, but Robert thought it would be a good experience for her.

Her phone was activated on Wednesday afternoon and later that evening I logged onto her online account to make sure the promo code for minutes went through. In a three hour period, she had managed to send and receive a total of over 70 text messages. Half of the minutes she had purchased were gone. I was livid. What I thought would happen was happening. I was upset at her lack of stewardship and self control. Robert, however, thought it was great. "What are you so upset over?" he asked, "She's going to be out of minutes in a few days. It will be a great learning lesson for her."

I called her over to see the online account activity on her phone. She knew she did exactly what I told her not to do. I showed her how much money was left on her account and reminded her, "when it's gone, it's gone". Since Wednesday she has sent two text messages: one to a friend telling her she couldn't text for awhile and one to her dad telling him she loves him. Lesson learned.

Resolutions Revisited

2009-02-02T10:52:00.003-05:00

Okay, let me explain. A month ago I posted some resolutions that I hoped would stick; one of which was to post more often. It's been ten days since my last post (doesn't that sound like the intro at an AA meeting???) and I've already gotten a few "Ahem . . . .?"'s from several of you. So let me fill you in on what's going on.

Many of you know that we moved to Mississippi last summer. Our house has been on the market back in Florida. I started a dream teaching job and Robert had no doubt he would be able to pick up in the construction business once we arrived. Fast forward seven months and the house still hasn't sold (sound familiar, Tami?), the construction industry in South Mississippi has literally dried up because of the economy, and . . . well . . . my job still rocks. Long story short, Robert moved back to Florida a few weeks ago where he is already working on a beautiful 5000 sq foot house. I have been playing single parent in the interim and missing him terribly. In fact, I'm sitting in a public library in Orlando right now typing this. I flew in for a long weekend to spend some time with him and I fly back to Mississippi tonight. So we've all had to be flexible and prayerful about what the future holds. Nothing in stone, but if the house doesn't sell by the time my contract is up at the end of the school year, we will likely need to move back to Florida. It's a bittersweet fact and I am simply laying it all at the Master's feet.

So let me touch on the resolutions and let you know where I stand with all of it:
1. More personal devotion time.
I'm actually doing really well with this one. I spend some time reading and praying each morning before the children get up.

2. Specific devotion with the girls.
This one hasn't taken off yet. With the current situation, it's been difficult to carve out time for devotion that doesn't include the boys. I'm working on it though!

3. More exercise
I'm actually doing really well with this one and enjoying the benefits. I purposely avoid scales like the plague, but I did get on one when I got home. I've lost 12 pounds since I was here over Christmas. Not bad!

4.Raise orphan awareness
Still a burning passion in my heart. We're looking at travel options for the Spring/Summer. I've had a few more requests for the DVD and some encouraging emails about the effect of the video on several people. Praise God! YouTube removed the audio from our Orphans of Ukraine video recently which really bummed me out. But hey, the fact that its been seen over 46,000 times is amazing!!!

5. Following a tighter budget
Doing good! I'm surprised what we can get by on now that Robert's not part of the household budget. Just joking, hon!!!

6. More home cooked meals
Getting better at this one. The kids have been great about chipping in with the cooking more.

7. Writing
Still planning on this! It's always in the back of my mind, things I want to tell you about. It seems like from the time we get home from school, exercise, do homework, cook dinner, clean up, and have baths it's already 10pm!

8.Actively seek God about adding to our family.
I got several questions on this one and wish I had more details to share. We haven't identified a child/ren at this point. We are prayerfully considering the true spirit of adoption and looking for more than a healthy infant, perhaps even a child with delays or handicaps. Pray with us on that!

So that's where we stand! Lots on going on and a future with lots more to anticipate. Post again soon . . . I promise!

A Place to Belong

2009-01-21T21:54:00.005-05:00

At first, I thought it was one of those annoying spam comments that end up on the blog periodically. You know, the ones that are in a foreign language and point you to some website selling t-shirts. Upon closer inspection, I saw Kristina's name and realized it was a message for her. It was a message from her best friend in the orphanage. A girl who was the closest thing to a sister Kristina has ever known. Karina's adoptive family is in Odessa to claim their daughter and they must have allowed Karina on the computer to send this message across cyberspace.

I knew Kristina would be ecstatic. She jumped up and down reading and re-reading the message on my cell phone. She wanted to get on the computer right away and post a message for Karina on the Nasekos' blog. We were due to youth group though, so I promised she could write as soon as we returned home. Holding me to my promise, she plopped down on her bed with the laptop and began to click away on the keyboard two hours later. She was so happy, I clicked a few pictures of her.

Periodically she'd look up and regale me with a memory of her time with Karina. The clicking on the keyboard became slower and the interruptions to share a memory with me became more frequent. Before I knew it, she was remembering things that made her shake as she spoke. She gripped the sides of the keyboard and her voice grew tense as she struggled to hide her feelings. In her mind's eye she was seeing old photos of her mother, the pigs her grandmother owned, and the first orphanage she lived in. Eyes downcast, she was remembering running away from the orphanage and navigating public transportation back to her father's house. She was seven years old. She was remembering the pain of feeling his anger upon finding her on his doorstep and then him escorting her back to the orphanage. He made sure she understood that the orphanage was her home. The orphanage was where she belonged.

My heart broke watching her relive these memories and share them with me afresh. Sensing my empathy to her pain, she set the computer to the side and made her way into my arms. I reminded her she would never wonder about home again. She would never question where she belonged. Her father had lost out by throwing her away. He had missed out on knowing a beautiful girl and we had been blessed to scoop her up and make her our own.

Kristina has moments where she cannot remember things from the past, even as recently as my first trip to Ukraine in 2006 where we met. She expends a great deal of energy suppressing a painful past. Tonight is the first time in six months that she has chosen to open up and talk. We don't push her to share; we know that things come when she is ready to talk. Please pray for our beautiful jewel of a child. We are so blessed to have her as part of our family.

God sets the lonely in families.
- Psalm 68:6

Mom, Look What I Can Do!!!

2009-01-18T11:21:00.003-05:00

I blame Debbie and Tami for teaching me in the first place, but I have learned how to make my own blog headers (like the one above) and backgrounds!!! It's a good thing this is a three day weekend. Now I have time to play around and see what I can create. Robert hates the current pink layout. He thinks it looks like a 12 year old's blog. I think he's just jealous. After all, he did ask me if I could custom create one for him. I'm working on my fourth layout for Kristina's Story. He'll just have to wait!!!

Called Out

2009-01-09T21:57:00.006-05:00

I am always fascinated by the locations that pop up daily on our blog's live traffic feed. We have visitors from all over the world! According to Jennifer, one of our adoption buddies, it's National Delurking Week. I've never done this, but I must admit I'm curious. If you're reading this, whether it's your first time stopping by or you're a regular visitor, leave me a comment. Introduce yourself or just say "hi". Did you find us through our website? Another blog? Adoption network? I'm curious to see who we're sharing blog space with!

Play With Your Food

2009-01-07T20:22:00.005-05:00

What's Under the Porch?

2009-01-05T20:06:00.009-05:00

When we first moved in to our rental in Mississippi, we quickly learned that the property came with a resident cat . . . and she wasn't alone. The gorgeous pale gray tabby was sweet and friendly with large black rimmed eyes. It wasn't hard to tell that she was a little large around the middle so the kids aptly dubbed her "Prego".
A few weeks after we arrived, six tiny kittens emerged from the shadows of the porch to find five surrogate "moms" in the kids. Chub Chub, Speedy, Cheetah, Jackie, Daredevil, and Minnie greeted the kids each afternoon as the school bus rumbled to a stop in front of the house. Homework was more palatable done on the floor of the porch as kittens chased each other around your shoes.
Books were easier to read when propped on the pile of kittens that clambered into your lap for a nap as soon as you sat down. We lost our beloved Jack cat when we first moved to MS, so the kittens presence has been a balm to sooth that loss. We've enjoyed having these little treats from under the porch!

New Year's Resolutions

2009-01-04T21:57:00.002-05:00

I always made them in my mind, but rarely shared them. People tend to hold you to these things once you publicize them. "Hey, is that a chili dog you're eating? Weren't you going on a diet?" But maybe that's the point. Putting it out there obligates us somewhat to keeping them . . . or at least trying. So what's on my list this year?

1. More personal devotion time.
Do we all make this one? I'm determined to make it the priority it should be.

2. Specific devotion with the girls.
We're starting one of Dr. Kistler's publications John Angell Jones' Female Piety this week. I see the girls coming into their own as young women. They're at a cross roads with many issues and this book really provides the ground for conversation on modesty, godliness, and their future calling as Christian women.

3. More exercise
We have thoroughly enjoyed all the running and playing we've done over Christmas break. Unfortunately, we couldn't bring the bikes back to MS, but we did bring the football and basketball!

4.Raise orphan awareness
We've been so wrapped up in our moving experience in the last 6 months, that we haven't sought opportunities to share like we should. Our speaking engagement a few weeks back resulted in a phone call tonight. Several members would like to travel to Ukraine with us and minister to these children. Praise God.

5. Following a tighter budget
This one is a plain necessity!

6. More home cooked meals
This falls off the radar more than I'd like to admit. I think the secret is to plan ahead. I love using the crock pot. Any suggestions???

7. Writing
Yes, I'm saying I plan to blog more consistently. I really am. Really.

8.Actively seek God about adding to our family.
We're ready. We really are. Really.

I'm offically tagging:
Jen K.
Melissa E.
Tami
Ashley
Debbie
Stephanee
Christine
Courtney

What's on your list this year? Even if I didn't tag you, feel free to play along; leave me a comment or shoot me an email letting me know so I can check out your blog! I promise, no comments if I see you with a chili dog in a few weeks!

The Long Haul

2009-01-03T20:32:00.000-05:00

On Friday we decided to test our ability to ride our old bike path: a 21 mile stretch. The wonderful phone Robert gave me for our anniversary has an amazing program that uses GPS to track and map our entire route, measuring miles traveled, time, elevation, calories burned etc. We just had to try it out! We started the path with high hopes, but by the time we reached the trail head roughly 3 miles from the house, we were beginning to wonder if we'd be able to endure the entire journey. Nevertheless, we pedaled on and made it to the 10.5 mile mark and our resting point before we knew it. We took a break and had a light lunch before braving our way back. The girls befriended two horses in a nearby pasture and spent some time cooing to the animals until they managed to entice one to the fence.

Our friend Ulyses met us and decided he would ride all the way back with us. Brave soul! It was perfect weather and we were able to chat and laugh on the way back. That made the going much easier. We were about a mile from the house when Kristina wiped out. She laughed it off though and was more upset about the dirt on her jeans than anything else. Such a girl!

On The Road Again

2008-12-30T07:54:00.002-05:00

One of the things we have missed so much about Florida is the access to outdoor activities, specifically biking. Earlier this week we retrieved the bikes and set out to retrace the bike paths that we had mapped many times. Thinking back to the time that Kristina learned to ride, I had to lag behind and snap a pic when I saw her riding fearlessly with arms straight out. What a journey we have all been on since this child has come into our lives.

Yesterday we decided to ride to one of the state parks in our area. Following the designated roadway, we cycled along in single file. As we were making our way along the main street, I noticed a man in an oncoming car wagging his finger at us. I took a quick survey. We were all on the designated path; all the children were wearing helmets. As his car came closer, I realized he was counting. "Yes," I thought, "There are seven of us." I suppose we look like a veritable parade trekking along.

We parked our bikes and wandered the pathway around the lake and through the forest looking for raccoons and baby gators. We were scattered along the boardwalk, each taking our own pace to gaze at a fish in the water or a spider skittering along a transparent web, when I observed Robert drape his arm across the broad shoulders of one of the twins just ahead of me. His voice drifted back, "Son, there's no where I would rather be than here with you, enjoying God's creation. You're growing into a fine young man." And then he pulled back to look him in the face and said, "Oh, wait. You're not Nathanael!" I laughed at his joke as Nathanael made his way over to see what was so funny. The three of them set off and pulling the rest of us in their wake. "Boys, you're both growing into fine young men . . . despite your mother's negative influence." I refused to rise to the bait reflecting on the fact that he waited until he was safely several paces ahead before he made such an observation.

Our time back in Florida for Christmas Break has seemed dreamlike, unreal. We miss the lifestyle we had here and the routine we have so easily fallen back into since returning. Worshipping at our home church, dinner and a movie with old friends last night, movie night with my college girls tonight, coffee with Z tomorrow, and dessert with an old colleague and his wife the next day makes contemplating returning to Mississippi a weary endeavor. While I look forward to returning to work and visiting church with some of my adoption blog buddies back in Mississippi, we have been blessed to have this respite.

Go Long

2008-12-26T17:26:00.009-05:00

"You know how to do The Bomb, right?" Robert asked tossing the football between his right and left hand. Kristina eyed him skeptically. Determined to stay out of it, I raised my book a little higher and feigned increased interest in the current passage. From my vantage point on the front lawn, I could see she was curious.

"You're going to run straight out and then cut right or left, but you've really got to run far out," he instructed.

Hand propped on hip, she countered, "What do you mean?"

"Leslie! Leslie, come show Kristina how to do The Bomb, " Robert implored.

"Robert, I don't do The Bomb. I am The Bomb," I replied without lowering the book.

I heard his sigh of exasperation as he recruited Samuel and Hannah. An hour later and they were red faced and laughing hysterically at each other in the street. I couldn't resist setting my book aside to take up the camera and click a few shots.

What You Can Live Without

2008-12-26T06:30:00.007-05:00

A week without internet access is wearing on me, so I have tagged along to Robert's sunrise Bible study this morning. Today is Kristina's turn. They have picked up hot chocolate from Starbucks and settled into a small booth behind me at Panera while I type away my thoughts from the week. Initially, it takes Kristina a bit to settle down. She wants to show Robert the verses she underlined from last night's reading. She wants to know what the word "offspring" means. He explains the definition and she replies, "Oh, like Samuel, Nathanael, Hannah and Joshua are your offspring?" "As well as you," he corrects her. And once again a teachable moment presents itself and he is able to share how God brings children into families; much like he brings us into his spiritual family. Quite right. Quite right.

Shoppers flutter in and out of the shops nearby even at this predawn hour. A small girl with a bag from the video game store next door clutches her purchases with one hand and her mother's arm with the other. I notice another woman exit the same store, attempting to balance two huge bags and locate her car keys in the purse hanging precariously from the crook of her arm. "GameStop must be having a big sale," I interject into the silence. "Huh?" they both reply and I realize why Robert does this activity one on one - less interruptions. I apologize for breaking their concentration and go back to clicking away at the keyboard.

I reflect on the gifts we exchanged this year. My new phone served as anniversary, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and any other holiday that comes demanding a token of love in the distant future. Robert: some new books and an audio series by Dr Kistler. Each of the children received a new book and a toiletry kit. The boys' with cologne and deodorant. The girls' with perfume and lotion. In addition, Kristina received an English version of the Bible bound in soft sea foam green leather with silver gilded pages peeking out from a cover embossed with an ivy motif. Rather humble gifts in comparison to the ones being hauled out of the video game store next door, but well received and loved all the same.

There was no Christmas tree this year. Ours was packed away somewhere in the sea of tan corrugated boxes. In the last six months, we have learned a valuable lesson. We have learned the difference between what we want and what we need; what we can live without and what we can't live without. With that in mind, our approach to Christmas was different. We took what we had been blessed with and decided to bless others. Three adopting families received our meager Christmas money his year. What a blessing to share what we had with others. We know it will hardly make a dent in the huge sum that adoption demands, but we learned once how every little bit adds up.

Christmas day was spent playing with old friends from the neighborhood, reading our new books, cooking Christmas dinner, and being together. We have been blessed with family: biological family, adopted family, and spiritual family. These are the things we can not live without.

Season's Blessings

2008-12-24T21:24:00.006-05:00

Over Christmas Eve breakfast, one of our pastors shared with Robert that a family from another church was seeking to bless someone this season. And with that Dottie appeared at our door with two small boys in tow. A complete stranger, she came bearing lunch from Chick-Fil-A, a freshly baked coffee cake for Christmas morning, and a Christmas card concealing a gift certificate from HoneyBaked Hams and gift cards. She wanted to share the blessings of the season. She wanted to show her boys what Christmas was really about. We introduced the children and her face registered a small moment of shock when we explained that this would be Kristina's second Christmas with us. "Adopted? How strange! God has been speaking to my heart about adoption." And with that she sat and spoke of her family and we shared our passion for adoption. We placed a copy of our adoption DVD in her hands and asked her to stay in touch. Walking her to the door, we expressed our gratitude over how God had blessed us through her. I could see the tears welling at the back of Robert's eyes as they passed through the door. Isn't it amazing? Isn't it amazing how God is providing us with opportunities to share His love for orphans and orphan ministry? We saw the working of God in this exchange of strangers united through the kinship of Christ. Praise God for his providence and provision!

At candlelight services this evening, Pastor Frank shared that the miracle of the season wasn't just that God's Son had been born into the world, but that He had been born into our hearts. Indeed He has. Indeed He has.

Can't Buy Me Love

2008-12-18T21:27:00.006-05:00

The traditional first anniversary gift is paper. Five years is wood. Ten is tin. Fifteen? Fifteen is my year. Fifteen is crystal. Does liquid crystal display count?

I usually discourage Robert from buying me gifts, but how can I scold him this time? Be still my beating heart! My honey knows what makes my heart go pitter-pat. I'm not the candy and flowers type. Technology - now that's the gift that says "I love you".

Fifteen years! Where does the time go? I honestly don't know how two kids ended up with five kids of their own.

Thanksgiving Recap

2008-12-17T22:05:00.002-05:00

I know, I know. This is a little late, but I thought I would share it anyway. Cut me a little slack; I'm just getting back on the writing wagon!

We headed back to Orlando for Thanksgiving this year. God hasn't seen fit to send buyers for our home, so we have a Florida vacation home whether we like it or not. We hadn't seen our little house since July and we were anxious to check on things. That, and we wanted to sit on real furniture and sleep in a real bed. We put our things in storage before coming to Mississippi and planned on moving everything once the house sold. Well, the house hasn't sold, so our current Mississippi furnishings consist of 6 air mattresses and a television perched on a moving box that holds my grandmother's china. Yeah, the furniture was a real pull to go back to Orlando!

It was a blissful week being back in familiar surroundings and with old friends. We worked in the yard. The kids played with their old friends and hung out with their youth group. The girls went to a sleepover with the neighborhood girls. We worshipped with our church family. My college girls were home and came over to play games and watch movies. Just to be together again! It was pretty much the perfect holiday.

We were invited to attend a football playoff game at a school I taught at several years ago. I was excited to take Kristina and let her meet the students and parents who had invested in bringing her here. We were greeted with squeals and hugs throughout the night. Kristina was able to meet her "angels" and Stephanie (whom Kristina matches in ability to talk a mile a minute!). I think what surprised me the most was the number of people who greeted us with, "When are you going to post on the blog again???" I was surprised that we were still being followed and grateful for the encouragement to get back to writing.

The big light bulb moment of the week came when Robert and I discussed moving back. We reflected on how many things we had been missing and decided if the house hadn't sold by the end of the school year, we would come "home". After all, we can't continue to pay rent and a mortgage.

The next day, we were browsing our favorite used book store when our realtor called Robert's cell. One of the kids tracked me to the classics section and informed me that Dad needed to talk to me NOW. I found Robert sitting on a step ladder in the theology section deciding between two tape albums. Reading his mind, I advised him, "Get both". "Bev called. There's a couple coming back to look at the house again this morning. They're deciding on buying it today," he informed me with raised eyebrows. Immediately I was reeling. I felt like someone had hit me in the stomach. I leaned on the book shelf for support and asked, "WHY?! Why now? I've guarded my heart for months. I've accepted the way things are in Mississippi and tried to find the positive in every obstacle. Now when we let ourselves consider coming back, He's going to sell the house???" "Nothing in stone. We'll have to wait and see," he replied.

Well, as of today, the house hasn't sold. The truth is, if I had really guarded my heart and trusted God, I wouldn't have reacted that way to a change in what I believed to be our new plan. I think God was reminding me to be content where I am and not plan too much. Now I have a real peace about staying in Mississippi and about moving back to Florida; a peace I didn't have before.

The week went by much too quickly and before we knew it, it was time to wind our way back to the Pine Belt. But you're getting your wish, Ulysses! We're coming back for the entire Christmas break! Guard your phone, old friend . . .

Insert Video Here

2008-12-14T21:45:00.006-05:00

While we haven't found a church to call "home" yet, the children have been attending youth group at a local Baptist church on Wednesday evenings. A few weeks ago, a portion of the evening youth service was carved out to practice for the annual Christmas concert. This year's theme was Christmas Around the World. The music director planned to have the children sing "Silent Night" in several languages as part of the program. When she found out Kristina was fluent in Russian, she scooped our girl up and groomed her for a duet with the son of a missionary family who had just returned from the mission field in Moscow.

I arrived early enough to get a spot on the front row of the balcony. I parked myself in the middle of a row of preschoolers' parent already checking the zoom on their camcorders. They found their little ones in the sea of black patent leather shoes that lined the front row of the choir and waved enthusiastically until they caught the attention of their stars. I got my camera ready too so I could share this moment with all of you.

The moment arrived and I clicked the 'record' button on the video camera. The director cued Kristina and her partner at the end of the first chorus. The boy stepped down to the mic . . . but Kristina didn't! She froze, unsure that the director was signaling her, and then couldn't move. I could see the pink flush fall over her face as she looked up at me and shrugged her shoulders with the slightest movement. Afterwards, she ran up to me and said, "Oops! Mama, I didn't know i was supposed to go THEN!" We laughed and reassured her that it was okay. Oh, well! I'm sure it would have been a real video moment!

Snow Day!

2008-12-11T18:14:00.009-05:00

When the forecast called for snow on Thursday, all the English teachers in my wing started praying for wintry manna from heaven. Snow=no school.

I awoke at 5am and peeked out the window. Rain was falling but no snow. I hopped in the shower and started my morning routine, grieving the loss of a day off to catch up on grading papers and sleep late. I clicked on the television to see the local forecast still predicting snow, a once a year phenomenon in these parts. A quick return to the window was rewarded with puffs of white beginning to dust the car top. Minutes later, the text messages from my girls in the English Dept. confirmed that ours prayers had been answered: no school!

I made the mistake of waking Robert to tell him about the snow and he immediately had the children up and on the front porch. Of course Kristina was unimpressed. After all, snow is nothing new to her. She groaned and rolled over unwilling to budge from her snugly blanket cocoon.

Obviously snow is even more impressive when you're traveling 40 mph, so Robert decided we needed to drive through town to get the full effect. Everyone threw on warm layers. The directions were simple: shoes on, everybody in the car ASAP. Now, I blame Robert who scooped the first handful off the hood of the car and hurled the frozen sphere at Nathanael's unsuspecting head. Before I knew it, I had six screaming kids (yes, I'm counting Robert) running across the front yard, pelting each other with snowballs at 6am. Our poor neighbors. I hid in the warmth and security of the car until they gave up because of numb hands and red faces.

I headed for a nearby gas station to fill up. The directions were simple: everybody stay in the car while I pump the gas. But do they listen? Noooooo. They ran in circles around the car, climbing on the bumper to get an aerial advantage and diving behind the pumps to avoid incoming projectiles. She may not have been impressed by the snow, but Kristina has an arm built for throwing snowballs! I declared myself Switzerland, neutral, and threatened anyone who raised a glob of snow in my direction. To my horror, I noticed patrons and staff gathered by the windows at a diner across the way pointing and laughing at the spectacle that my family was causing.

"Hey! Let's have breakfast!" Robert decided. I smoothed the ice of a snowball gone astray from my hair and tried to regain some dignity as I walked into the diner. We slid into red and white vinyl booths under the judgemental stares from photos of Elvis and James Dean and settled on a meal of warm, fluffy pancakes.

Once home, the kids returned to the front yard to team up with neighborhood kids in a full snow battle. I wish I could say I spent the rest of the day knocking out all the papers that accumulate on my desk, but I enjoyed my snow day and got absolutely nothing accomplished!

Gloria in Excelsis Deo

2008-12-07T13:00:00.001-05:00

In the middle of singing the above mentioned song in service this morning, I felt a tug on my sleeve. Without taking my eyes from the words on the screen, I leaned down to see what the child sitting to my left wanted. "I'm nervous," Kristina whispered. "Of what?" I whispered back, "The words are right there on the screen." She rolled her eyes at my attempt at humor and went back to singing.

We were invited to worship at Petal Harvey Baptist Church and speak with one of the Sunday School classes about orphan ministry. Kristina would come with us to the presentation and she was afraid she wouldn't know what to say. Quite frankly, so was I. After worship, we made our way to the upstairs classroom. Robert spoke briefly about what the Bible says concerning adoption and then I shared our personal journey with a room of about 30 young married couples. We played the video we made of my first trip to Ukraine. Its always difficult to watch the video. You would think it would be easier after seeing it countless times, but it never gets easier because I know the need now is even greater than it was then. I tried very hard to stay composed, but when I saw Kristina tear up I felt my own emotions welling up.

It is interesting to see her come to the point where she is able to reflect upon where she has been and where she is now. Some orphans embrace their bleak future and begin self destructive behaviors as at a very early age. We witnessed children who were already prostituting themselves, numb to the hope that there could be any other way for them to be loved and needed. Other orphans, like Kristina, refused to see things for what they truly were. For many months, we battled "the lie". The lie that someone would come for her eventually, that somehow she wouldn't be one of the girls who would sleep on the street at the mercy of others. We understand that her clinging to "the lie" was a defense mechanism. Its what kept her from crossing over into the abyss of hopelessness.

Although she was terribly nervous and had moments of stage fright, she was able to share a little bit of what life was like in Ukraine. And like me, afterwards she thought of a million other things she wanted to say to the group. Because she was in the room, Robert and I specifically didn't share the horrors of her personal story and some the details of much of what these children face. We trust that what we were clumsily allowed to share will plant a seed about adoption in the hearts of others.

For months we've been trying to figure out why God has brought us to Mississippi and why we have borne one difficulty after the next in coming here. But this morning, we were reminded that perhaps God's plan has yet to be revealed. If just one family who heard our story becomes involved in orphan ministry or adoption, would the sacrifice not have been well worth it? God showed us today that he indeed has a work for us to do. Pray that He would open more doors that we might speak with other groups and churches to share the message about adoption. This is what Kristina was brought here for: Gloria in Excelsis Deo - Glory to God in the Highest.

"And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,
Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.

When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, "Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us."
-Luke 2:13-15

The Journey Home

2008-10-25T22:34:00.003-04:00

It's hard to believe we were in Ukraine a year ago navigating the uncertain adoption process. Our thanks to all those who made this journey possible.

Is it Possible to Start this Post Without Apologizing?

2008-10-19T19:24:00.009-04:00

Maybe if I just jump to updating everyone, you'll be distracted enough to forgive my lapse in blog postings. I don't really know where to start and that makes things that much harder. Our last few posts informed you that our move to Mississippi has been a difficult transition. Difficult is a mild word. We are still adjusting. I kept hoping that at some point God would clue me in to the reason behind all the difficulties, I would make the spiritual connection, and be that much better for the experience. However, He obviously is still working on me. So I keep my head down and push through, knowing that He walks with us and all these things have come to pass for His glory, in His time.

Let me focus on the good things. There have been good things and that is worth noting. My job is phenomenal. I love, love, love my students and am surrounded by the best collegues. The school system that the kids are in is unparalleled. Spending time together has helped us weather the uncertainties of this journey. All seven of us are adjusting and we have each other to make it a bit more pleasant.

We have thouroughly enjoyed rediscovering Mississippi and our beautiful surroundings. We've been canoeing and kayaking down the Okatoma River. We took this trip right before we moved to Orlando. The twins were 5 and I had to keep telling them to sit still for fear of them flipping us over. Josh was so small, he was swallowed by his orange lifevest. This time, no one wanted to ride in the canoes with mom and dad. Everyone wanted their own kayak to stear down the river. Kristina caught on in a flash and we had to repeatedly shout to her to slow down and wait for us.

Keep your eye on Samuel at the back of the canoe in this clip. We laugh until we cry everytime we watch it.

We've gotten in the habit of making day trips to fun nearby places. We've visited Natchez to view antebellum houses and climb ancient indian ceremonial mounds.

Two weeks ago, we made our way to Vicksburg for the day. We loved the rolling landscape. The kids spent the day running up and down valleys that had once served as battlegrounds during the Civil War.

Last weekend, we drove into New Orleans to shop the French Market and stroll along the river. We wandered the Quarter browsing shops and visiting historic St. Louis Cathedral, dined at our favorite resturant Cafe Masperos, and grabbed a dessert of powdered benigets at Cafe De Monde.

We stuck close to home this weekend. Saturday was Kristina's 13th birthday. It is the first time she can remember celebrating her birthday on her actual birthday. Until the adoption, she had believed her birthday was in April. A big hug and kiss goes out to missionaries Babushka Lela and Michelle who never failed to acknowledge our daughter's special day while she was in the orphanage. We can't begin to thank these two women for the tireless work they do day in and day out to minister to orphans in Kristina's internot.

We spent a simple day together, letting Kristina choose a resturant for dinner. We presented her with an MP3 player, something she's been asking for since the day she arrived. Maw Maw and Paw Paw showed up with gifts in hand and a cake made by special request (pink cake with white icing and yellow flowers). She glowed the whole day. The blessings of family.

A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
God sets the solitary in families;
He brings out those who are bound into prosperity.
-Psalm 68:5-6

Bloggin' in a Hurricane

2008-09-01T13:14:00.003-04:00

Who knew the first opportunity I would have to get online and blog would be during Hurricane Gustav? Well, Kristina is experiencing her first hurricane with nonchalance. Power is still on and internet is still connecting. The house we're in survived Hurricane Katrina three years ago, but needed a new roof and porch by the time it was all said and done. We've been blessed to skirt much of the severe weather. We're roughly 90 minutes north of New Orleans, and just a few miles east of the violent outer bands of the right side of the storm. Lots of wind and rain so far and some concern about tornadoes is what we're leery of at this point. We considered heading back to Florida yesterday to avoid the possibilities of what Gustav promised to bring, but one look at the interstates in any direction out of here and we knew we wouldn't get out without getting stuck in the gridlock. Friends from Florida have been texting and calling over the past few days to gauge our needs. Wanted to let everyone know we're fine. We'll check in again later.

Blah-g

2008-08-14T12:27:00.003-04:00

Thanks to those of you who have checked in on us. We are currently without internet, but as soon as we are up and running I will post an update. Keep praying for us!

Full House

2008-07-24T14:54:00.005-04:00

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.

When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.
-Luke 2:16-19

I wonder about the kind of woman Mary must have been. Periodically I'll pick up on little things in scripture that give glimpses into her personality and disposition. As a young woman called to such a overwhelming role, I am sure that she couldn't possibly see all that laid ahead for her. She couldn't know the true nature of the role this child would play in the history of time. She was human, like me, a woman called of God and chosen for such a time. So I love that Luke recorded these words: But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

Many times, Mary must have watched things come to pass, knowing they were of great significance, but not understanding the true impact of these events. It was at times like this that she collected these things in her heart, to consider and meditate on them cumulatively. I find myself doing this as we continue to walk through Kristina's adjustment. Lately she and Hannah have been at each other's throats; they cannot seem to reconcile the tension between themselves. A portion of this can be contributed to being in a strange environment and out of our normal routine, but things have been intense lately and it gets me to thinking . . . and pondering.

Some of you may remember two summers ago when Kristina first came to visit. It didn't take long for us to learn that she has a fierce competitive streak and is a poor loser. We've been passing time by playing cards quite a bit lately. Kristina has a really hard time with this. She outwardly revels when someone else loses. She is ungenerous and makes excuses when she loses. She huffs and slaps her cards down on the table when things are not going her way. Plain and simple, its bad manners.

When one of the other kids tries to point these things out, that just agitates her further. After talking to her for the twentieth time about her attitude, a thought crossed my mind. Things would be much easier for Kristina if she had been adopted by a couple with no other children. She could have had the undivided attention of a mom and dad and eased into a life in a different culture.

And then it hit me, since when do any of us "ease" into life? God placed Kristina in this family because we are the perfect fit for her. Now, I didn't say WE were perfect. This chaotic, loud family is exactly what she needed. She needed to be a part of something that wasn't all about her, because she struggles with pride. She needed to have a mom and dad that don't let even the smallest things go, because she fights authority. She needed to have a sister that goes toe to toe with her, because she needs to learn that when love is shared its not divided, its multiplied. She needed to have three annoying brothers, because . . . well . . . she needs to develop patience.

While we are far from perfect, we are perfect together. My weaknesses are challenged through my relationship with the man and five children that God has entrusted to me. When we hit these little speed bumps in life, I ponder the outworking of these things and know that God weaves our lives together for our good and His glory.

Consider Him Faithful Who Has Promised

2008-07-18T15:57:00.007-04:00

Now the LORD had said to Abram:

“Get out of your country,
From your family
And from your father’s house,
To a land that I will show you.

I will make you a great nation;
I will bless you
And make your name great;
and you shall be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you,
And I will curse him who curses you;
And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”
-Genesis 12:1-3

We've moved 10 times in the nearly 14 1/2 years that we've been married. Ten times. You would think I'd be a pro at this. Things have not gone well since our move and I have been looking for some clarity from God concerning what I thought would be and what actually is.

Today makes two weeks since we arrived in Mississippi and admittedly, I was not crazy about the move to start with. I was content in Orlando and could have happily stayed there, but God had different plans.

Just to get you up to speed, let me start with the problems. The housing we were counting on fell through, so we're still at my parents' house. Now granted, they've been gracious, but this is not what we anticipated. Because we're still here, Robert is commuting 3 hours round trip each day to get to his job sites. And have you heard about the price of gas??? Tuesday the brakes went out on the front of my Durango and had to be replaced. Wednesday Robert had to have emergency dental work (side note: insurance hasn't kicked in yet). And to top it all off, our sweet Jack cat went missing a week ago. I am longing for my friends, my comfortable little house, and the relative predictability of my life.

So let me tell you how this child of grace reacted to all of this. I second guessed God, my husband, and myself. I cried, I got angry, and I haven't been the most positive person to be around. Surely all of this was coming to pass because we grossly misunderstood His directing. I asked God for some reassurance and was led to start reading in Genesis chapter 12.

Has anyone ever thought about Sarah's perspective of this story? Here Sarah was in her comfortable life in Ur when Abram informed her they were moving to Canaan. "Um, where? Why would we leave all we love? We have family, friends, a life here." But according to the scriptures, Abraham took Sarah and headed into this unknown land on a promise. The scripture goes on to tell us that they found a picturesque setting, built a lovely new house, were surrounded by great neighbors, and made friends quickly . . .

NOT

They followed God's promise to go into Canaan where their name would be great, they would be blessed, and they would be protected. When they got there, they found the country that God had promised them, but it was inhabited by a hostile people and there was a FAMINE! Clearly that was not in the travel brochures.

So they went with Plan B: head south to Egypt. Sweet! Egypt! Always wanted to visit there! Of course when they got there, Abraham made a less than favorable impression by lying to the Pharaoh about Sarah. Sarah almost ended up as one of Pharaoh's wives, God sent a plague to remedy the situation, and Pharaoh kicked both of them out of the country.

Can you imagine the conversation that went on behind closed doors??? "Abe, you're still clinging to this promise right? Great name? Blessings? Protection?" Do you think that at any point Sarah said, "Okay! Enough! Things are clearly not working out." How did any of these problems, or the problems to come, impact or alter God's promise for Abraham and Sarah? The truth is, they didn't. God was faithful and saw His plan through in His time.

Sarah and I have a little bit in common here. I am forced to relearn the lesson of being a good steward of circumstances over and over again. I tend to get bogged down in the details and fail to see God working in even the small issues that arise. I consistently fail to understand that the struggles are part of the process. This, friends, is how faith is cultivated.

By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going.

By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise;

For he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
-Hebrews 11:8-10
In essence, Abraham died before seeing the promise come to its fruition. His faith is counted great not because he saw and believed, but because he didn't see yet believed. How shallow my faith is when I consider those who suffered genuine tribulation, not the inconveniences I've experienced recently. A work in progress, that's what I am, and so very far from being finished. I have a lot to be be thankful for and I guess things could be worse. After all, Sarah was living in a tent!

Hello Goodbye

2008-07-01T21:19:00.005-04:00

Sorry it's been so long since we posted. So much has been going on here! The girls are all home from college and so our evenings have been occupied with three more in the house. These are all girls I taught in high school several years ago. We formed a bond that only strengthened once they graduated and went their separate ways to colleges here in town, on the East coast, and on the West coast. But every Christmas, Spring Break, and summer we end up together again for countless movie and game nights, our regular dinner at Kobe's, and runs to Jeremiah's for ice cream. I am so blessed to be part of these girls' lives. They're truly members of our family and blend right in whether we're cooking biscuits in the kitchen or teaching the kids a new card game.

It's not all fun and games though; we've gotten a lot of work done here on the house lately. The attic has been completely cleaned out. All the closets have been purged. The boys have been working in the yard and have pressure washed the sidewalks and driveway. I found this message for me one morning:

Its hard to believe that Kristina first joined us for a summer that changed all of our lives two years ago. This summer Frontier Horizon arranged for over 100 orphans to be hosted by families in the US and among them is Kristina's best friend Karina. The girls have chatted on the phone several times in the last few weeks. Kristina has missed Karina so much. She felt she would never again see the girl who was like a sister to her all those years in the orphanage. There was a real sense of relief when they were able to reconnect. Karina is being hosted by a family in Mississippi, so as it turns out, they'll be able to see each other as well.

You see, tomorrow is our last day in Florida. We're moving home to Mississippi. As it turns out, Karina will only be a 90 minute drive from our new home. That information set Kristina to dancing. We know God has been ordering things, we just haven't been sure to what end. A Mississippi school I had applied at over a year ago called me out of the blue about a teaching position. Long story short, I couldn't pass it up. Robert also received a call to preach again at Ellisville Presbyterian. He has some leveling work to do before he embarks on his PhD, so we'll be spend that time in Mississippi surrounded by old friends and family. We are incredibly sad to be leaving St Paul's, the best church we've ever been part of, but we know God has used our experience there to prepare us for the work that lies ahead.

So we begin a new chapter in our journey with a little sadness, much anticipation of a what lies ahead, and great trust in a God who has always guided our steps for our good and His glory. Please pray for us as we make adjustments and get settled in. We'll have some important decisions to make that will require great wisdom. We'll keep you posted on our transition!

"For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope."
- Jeremiah 29:11

Swim Meet

2008-06-20T15:16:00.004-04:00

Just Another Day in the Landrum House

2008-06-15T20:20:00.006-04:00

Robert is the king of breakfast. He's been up well before the rest of us and has had something different cooking each morning in the last week. Much to the kids' chagrin, he also enjoys waking them up to let them know breakfast is ready. He tiptoes into their rooms, positions himself just so, takes a deep breath, and crows. Yes, crows. Like a rooster. Well, you can imagine how well this goes over with 5 adolescent kids!

Yesterday we were treated to a taste of home when he made beignets and Cafe Au Lait. We picked up a box of mix last time we were at Cafe Du Monde in New Orleans. Beignets never taste quite the same unless you're sitting on the crowded patio under the green and white awnings with a musician playing jazz music in the background, but we made do.

Father's Day was low key. We went to church, ate lunch out, and spent the rest of the day tinkering around the house. Robert and Kristina made cupcakes and then realized we didn't have frosting, so we made a run to the grocery store. Robert made Manwich for dinner. I never have been a fan, but the kids like it. As Kristina polished off her's she asked, "Dad, can I have another Man Sandwich?"

We laughed at the things the kids say quite a bit. Kristina wanted to know why the boys keep telling her to pull their finger. Ugh! My advice? Don't do it! Don't pull the finger. Robert is jotting down the silly things they say and posts them periodically here. During family devotions the other night, we were discussing heaven and debunking some myths about what that will be like. Kristina wanted to know if God would speak Russian. I thought that was an endearing question and it made me think about my dear friend Alicia from Honduras. I loved that whenever we prayed together, she would always pray in Spanish. We encouraged Kristina to speak to God however she could best express herself. God hears our requests even when we cannot find the words for what we need to say. What a comforting thought.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
- Romans 8:26

Who's Afraid of Biscuits?

2008-06-13T07:57:00.002-04:00

Please Fasten Your Seatbelts

2008-06-12T16:17:00.007-04:00

I had the brilliant idea of getting all of the school physicals, immunizations, and dental checkups appointments done as soon as school was out. So our first full week off of school has been spent running back and forth between 10 appointments. We're all done though and I'm relieved to have one (ten!) less thing to do before the next school year rolls around.

I was a bit nervous about Kristina's appointment. She hasn't had consistent dental care and I figured she would need a little work done. Watching her sitting in the chair, I flashed back to a similar moment two years ago when I accompanied her to a Ukrainian dentist office. I had known her just a week and was trying to understand the unusual connection I felt to her. Two years later, she sputters a mile a minute in English with her thick Russian accent and calls me "mom". Who but God could have orchestrated that? It turns out she had three small cavities and the dentist was able to take care of everything that day. She was a real trooper and the only problem was that she couldn't talk while the dentist had the drill in her mouth. :)

In addition to all the doctor checkups, the boys have all been in basketball camp at my high school this week. Several of my students play on the varsity team and are serving as coaches. They were quick to claim the boys and take care of them when we walked in on Monday. My students always had lots of questions about my kids and family, so it was good for them to finally be able to meet. Most of them were shocked to learn that the collage of photos of kids on my desk were all mine. Usually they'd count them and say, "Five? You've got five kids, Miss L?!" Things are going well and so far, Samuel has been voted MVP and won a shootout challenge. At almost 5'9", the twins are taking advantage of their growth spurt.

So we're off to a running start with all of our "down" time. If the rest of the summer is anything like the first week, we'll be exhausted by August!

Steward of Circumstances

2008-06-04T16:20:00.008-04:00

It is with a great sigh that I end this year of teaching. It was a year like no other. I have no doubt that God placed me in this classroom for such a time as this; as I learned how to minister in ways I never have before. And perhaps more importantly, I learned how to be a good steward of my circumstances.

Last year, I taught at a school with a freshman class composed of 69 members. This year, the freshmen class of my school was made up of 775 members. That was only one of many differences. Many of these kids faced difficulties that I can not begin to comprehend, and sometimes those difficulties manifested themselves in the classroom. All of them crossed the threshold of my classroom looking for something. I learned to sharpen my spiritual eyes to learn what it was they needed, to provide what I could.

My experience with Kristina has been a wealth of training. She is slow to confess her hurts and to give voice to her needs. Often I have to look for the signs and attempt to unravel things from there. It is rare that she follows up with "Thanks for the discipline, Mom!" or "Thanks for loving me even when I acted like I didn't want to be loved!" And similarly, it is rare to get that kind of feedback in the classroom.

In the last week, I have been slowly tearing down my classroom in preparation for next year. All the posters, student work, and notices have come down. By yesterday, all that was left was the contact paper on my bulletin boards. Knowing the paper would end up in the trash, I refrained from saying anything when I saw kids scribbling on it throughout the day. As the final bell rang and students were dismissed, I stood in the doorway as they scrambled from the room. I'd hear "Mizz L!" periodically and see a hand wave goodbye above the mass exodus as the hall emptied. I stepped back in my room and surveyed what work needed to be done. I reached up to pull down the faded yellow paper on one of the bulletin boards on my way back to my desk when I saw my name scribbled in an unidentified hand. I stood before the board and realized the kids had signed their names, left quotes from things we read and discussed, and written little personal notes of gratitude. I read each of the entries and moved to the other bulletin board to find the same thing.

Finding joy in our calling depends largely on our motivations. It's easy to loose sight of our purpose when circumstances are less than ideal or when there appears to be little "pay off", but that should never affect our calling. Since Robert graduated RTS last May, we've felt like we were sitting on "G", waiting on "O". We know that there is something out there that God has for us to do. Orphan ministry and teaching continue to be huge desires of our hearts. As a family of seven, we have prayed over where God would send us to accomplish this ministry. Could I take my children and go to Eastern Europe or Africa? Would I really be willing to sell everything, leave friends and family behind, and journey to a distant land to see this calling through? We wrestled with that possibility in the last 6 months, making connections in Uganda, and discussing the options with commissioning agencies like MTW. Still, we wait on doors to open and God's directing to be clear.

There is a great line that opens the movie Bella:

"If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."

In our finite understanding of the grand scheme of things, we cannot possibly see all the possibilities. Kristina's presence in our family is a souvenir of that truth. This school year has been a reminder that regardless of whether I serve in Orlando or Odessa, Mississippi or Malawi, the measure of my faithfulness as a servant depends only on the desire to see His work through.

"For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord."
- Romans 14:7-8

Humbling Experience

2008-06-01T19:14:00.014-04:00

We traveled the long road home to Mississippi last weekend. I took several additional days off from teaching around the holiday weekend to visit with my parents who live just south of Hattiesburg. The end of the school year is always a hectic time for teachers who are trying to squeeze in last things and hold a quickly sinking ship together. So the couple of days off was a reprieve in the middle of the whirlwind. But time with the grandparents wasn't the central reason we went home. Robert had a teaching interview in Hattiesburg and a preaching engagement at Ellisville Presbyterian Church.

Early Sunday morning, we journeyed north to Ellisville and found a picturesque white church with a steeple that stretched toward blue skies. Erected in 1892, the Ellisville church is in its original historic sanctuary. The steeple tower contains the original bell that rings each Sunday to call the surrounding community to worship. The interior of the building was bathed in rainbow light streaming in through the stained glass windows as the children and I settled onto red velvet cushions on dark wooden pews. As Robert made his way to the church office to meet with the pulpit committee, we were greeted by the kindest congregation.
It was an excellent service and as I listened to Robert bring the sermon, I was struck by memories of his early preaching days. We were much younger and the twins were just babies. The boys were good babies and if I planned well, I could usually time it so that they slept through service. That morning I glanced down the row at not two, but five covenant children and wondered at the graciousness of our God. After the service, we lingered and fellowshipped with members who were full of questions. I pulled a reluctant Robert away (he REALLY wanted a chance to ring the bell) and we began the drive back to my parents' home. Thinking back over the morning service, we were humbled by the warmth of the people at Ellisville PCA and the calling to ministry that God has allowed us.

Ellisville is also home to Ellisville State School, a residential facility for the mentally retarded. As we passed the large state run building, Robert pointed it out to the children. As a ministry student many years ago, he had visited the facility and met with the residents. Kristina listened to all of this intently and asked, "Dad, you've been to that school?" Robert nodded and without missing a beat she asked, "Dad, you used to be retarded?" We all dissolved into fits of laughter as Robert attempted to clarify the situation to a very confused Kristina.

Cheers and Tears

2008-05-28T20:06:00.002-04:00

Today was the awards ceremony at Kristina's school. Robert was able to go and snap a few pics of her and Hannah receiving special awards. Kristina received the Language Arts Award. Pretty impressive for a kid who spoke Russian just a few months ago! She has accomplished so much in her short time in school and we are so proud of her. She's jumped right in and tried everything. When she's stumbled, its just made her try harder. She's made lots of friends and is rarely afraid to try things. If something's happening, she's right in the middle of it.

One place she's always elbowing her way into is the kitchen. Robert was making hamburgers this evening and Kristina offered to pitch in. She got a little more than she bargained for!

To the Adoption Community

2008-05-22T19:05:00.006-04:00

I was broken this morning when I heard the news about the death of Maria Chapman. Maria is the youngest adopted daughter of Christian singer/songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman. I cannot begin to grasp the grief this family is experiencing. The Chapmans have done so much to raise awareness for international adoption. Maria was the youngest of three girls the Chapmans adopted from China. I am comforted to know that God has numbered each of our days and even this seemingly tragic turn of events is part of God's sovereign plan. Maria's brief life was not in vain. She fulfilled the purpose God had intended for her.

When I got home from school, there was a package waiting for me. Inside was the new edition of Tom Davis' book Fields of the Fatherless. I read the first edition two years ago and it has profoundly shaped my understanding of mercy ministry. Opening the cover, I was touched to find that Tom had sent me a signed copy. I re-read the foreword by Steven Curtis Chapman and was reminded what a immense effect orphan ministry has on the world around us.

Robert and I have just completed the first in a series on adoption that we've been asked to write for The Progress, our church's magazine. As we reflect on the journey we've taken to find and claim Kristina as our own, God has brought to mind what an important role the adoption community has played in our experience. We found wisdom, direction, prayer, and strength in the words and efforts of hundreds of people united to practice mercy ministry on the behalf of one little girl. Let us unite again to seek God. Pray that God will comfort the Chapman family with His presence and surround them with believers who will lighten this burden for them. And continue to pray for the millions of Marias still waiting for families.

A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
God sets the solitary in families;
He brings out those who are bound into prosperity.
-Psalm 68:5-6

Rock On

2008-05-21T19:09:00.003-04:00

I hate store bought cards. I won't send them and I forbid Robert & the kids from buying them for me. So the kids made me their own cards on Mother's Day. Kristina wrote in big letters: Mom, you're rocks!!!"

. . .

Okay, I get what she meant, but perhaps she wasn't too far off.

But He answered and said to them, “I tell you that if these should keep silent, the stones would immediately cry out.” - Luke 19:40

Liar, Liar

2008-05-08T18:30:00.002-04:00

Guess what phase Kristina is going through. Not that this is my first time dealing with this issue; all of my children have tried on their fire britches at some stage. Thankfully, their conscience usually got the best of them, they confessed, and quickly learned the consequences of lying. Kristina, however, has been a tough cookie. Even when confronted with the truth, she digs her toes in and clings to the lie. I haven't known exactly what to do with this; its been a difficult thing to process. Sometimes when she does confess her transgressions, I find myself tensing for the next time, not fully able to let go.

As always, God has chosen to teach me through this experience. We are abundantly blessed to have Dr. Don Kistler as a Sunday school teacher. His lessons are the kind that Robert and I find ourselves still talking about and wrestling with days and even weeks later. We completed a series on forgiveness recently and I was unpleasantly surprised to learn how short I have fallen in this area. At one point, Dr Kistler raised the question, "Why does God not grow weary with us continually asking for forgiveness?"

I never really thought about that before. Our omniscient God knows when we sin against Him. He knows the sincerity of our repentance. And He knows when and if we'll commit that sin again. If He knows we'll sin against him in the same manner in the next moment, how is He able to extend abundant grace and forgiveness to us? I was struck by Dr Kistler's answer, "God never grows weary of forgiving because He is able to manifest His true nature in the act of forgiveness. He joys in offering mercy."

I understand that there is no greater act of forgiveness than what my Father did by sending His Son to the cross on behalf of my transgression. What I didn't fully grasp is how we are like the Father when we forgive . . . repeatedly . . . without guarantee from future trespasses, and with great joy. It sheds light on my difficulty with letting things go, which in essence, is a pride issue. I haven't found joy in the act of extending mercy and forgiveness like I should. Pray that I will be conformed to the image of the Father and in so doing, will show my daughter the depth of His love.

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry for ever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.
- Micah 7:18,19

God Loves TV?

2008-05-04T20:05:00.004-04:00

I hum unconsciously all the time. My students will catch me and ask what song is playing in my mind. When I tell them "The Old Rugged Cross" or "The King is Coming", they remind me that I'm not at church. One of the things we miss about the Baptist church is the music. We have an old hymnal and these are the songs we sing during family devotions.

Yesterday we were headed to Cocoa Beach singing along with a CD of these songs when Kristina interrupted and asked, "Mom, why does God love TV?" A little puzzled, I glanced at her in the rear view mirror and asked, "What makes you think God loves TV?" "The song is singing about it," she replied. We laughed when we realized she was referring to the song playing: Love Lifted Me.

How Time Flies

2008-04-27T18:23:00.004-04:00

Things have NOT slowed down since we returned from Spring Break. I thought that I could catch my breath at the end of that first week, but not so. I am skipping school tomorrow to chaperon the girls' class field trip. They're going on their wet walk/dry walk. I volunteered for the dry walk. :)

Kristina continues to grow and amaze us. She experiences something new every day, things that we take for granted. She and Hannah went to Rock Springs yesterday to tube the cold clear waters with a group of girls from school. It was her first time swimming in the springs and she loved it. With the fabulous Florida weather, we've been cycling quite a bit lately. We made the twenty mile trek from our house up the Wekiva Trail and back. The magnolias are in bloom and Robert couldn't resist pulling down a giant creamy bloom for Kristina to get a whiff. Kristina is a fount of endless energy, so she enjoyed the workout the bike route provided.

Its hard to believe that I will have four in middle school next year! The girls brought home their schedule options for 6th grade classes. Kristina was flustered and excited over all the choices available to her. She settled on drama class, music, study skills, and PE for electives. The middle school has an amazing music program and she's excited to try out for an instrument. And, well, you know how dramatic she can be. I have a feeling drama class will be a good outlet for her.

She'll still be in ESOL Language Arts class, but she's mainstreamed for everything else. In fact, she's mainstreamed now with the exception of Language Arts. Her language skills confound us and we feel that perhaps God has gifted her in this area. At any given time, she has two novels in process, one in English and one in Russian. She just finished Little Women and Pollyana in Russian. We rented the Little Women movie after she finished the book. After viewing it, she declared the book was much better than the movie. A girl after my own heart!

Simple Pleasures

2008-04-17T21:21:00.004-04:00

Spring Break was only last week, but it feels like ages ago already. We spent the week enjoying things close to home. We wandered the primitive walkways of a few state parks in our area, spied on baby alligators darting through marshy edges of lakes, watched raccoons climb the canopies, and visited "The Senator". A box of sidewalk chalk called up kids from all over the neighborhood.

A morning of gun safety led to target practice with the BB gun. We tuned up the bikes and rode everywhere including a 12 mile trek. Everyone completed at least one novel and ended the week with sun kissed faces from several trips to the pool where they learned that diving off Dad's shoulders is much more fun than diving off the side of the pool.

Have You No Shame?

2008-04-13T21:35:00.005-04:00

Apparently not because I continue to publish these videos. Okay, these clips are somewhat related. The purpose of this first one is two fold. First, it took us a little while before we figured out that our hotel keys did more than just open our door at Hotel Rus in Kiev. You have to insert the key card in a slot on the wall to turn the lights on. Additionally, the key card also has to be inserted in a slot in the elevator to make it go. The first time we got in the elevator, the doors closed and we just stood there. We pushed the button for our floor, but nothing happened. "Oh, great," I thought, "We just got to Kiev and we're trapped in an elevator. That'll make an interesting blog post." Eventually the doors opened and another couple got in, slid their card into the slot and off we went. "Ohhhhh," Robert and I murmured in unison. You'll see the card slot in the video. But I really want you to take a look at the Kiev city skyline. Notice the gold domed church in the distance. No, really notice how far away it is.

This next clip is the two of us climbing the last of many hills leading to that church dome in the video. Yes, we walked the entire way there and back. It was well worth the hike. We got to see the beautiful architecture of the city and burn off nervous energy as we had just completed our SDA appointment.

This final clip is of us after we had reached the church and were wandering the church grounds admiring the ancient buildings. Well, the rest is self explanatory.

Scaredy Cat

2008-04-10T20:15:00.005-04:00

School is back in session this week and Spring Break seems like a lifetime ago. We've started a new term and I'm in teacher mode, so my mind is clouded to writing personal stuff. Hopefully I'll be on top of things and able to refocus by the weekend. There's lots more I'd like to share about Kristina and our daily lessons in love and humility. Soon, soon.

I continue to download video clips from the adoption trip and Robert and I have laughed ourselves silly at our foolishness. This is a clip from the JFK airport. It actually precedes the last video we posted.

Now keep in mind, Robert was not happy about flying to Ukraine. He wanted to know how long it would take by boat; that's how much he hates flying. This stems from a flight we took from New Orleans to Atlanta about ten years ago. Horrible experience. The smell of jet fuel was nauseatingly overwhelming and we thought we would pass out before we landed. He hasn't gotten on a plane since. I've been blessed to have lots of travel opportunities though and have flown to places like New York, DC, London, Rome, Ukraine. I assured him that every experience I've had since has been wonderful. I actually like flying and I was sure he would too, but this was Robert's first flight since the bad experience and he was skeptical.

Our flight from Orlando into JFK was great until the landing. The plane wobbled pretty violently right before we touched down and it freaked Robert out. I had to keep a happy face on though because we had two more flight ahead of us that day and I couldn't afford for him to back out. I remember being tired and thinking we had just begun the journey to Ukraine. The uncertainty of what laid ahead was heavy on my heart, but God had given me peace and a guy to laugh at with. Can't ask for much more than that.

Ukraine Adoption: The Lost Videos

2008-04-07T20:09:00.005-04:00

We took a video camera with us to Ukraine to record events along the way. I am downloading the video segments (yes, I know its been almost four months) and thought I would share some of the clips here and there. Don't count on much of it being educational. It will serve to show what misfits we are. So here's video number one. This proves that the number one thing to pack for an international adoption is a sense of humor.

Life's a Beach

2008-04-03T21:24:00.002-04:00

We headed to Cocoa Beach today for some sun and sand. The boys took turns burying each other in the the sand and body surfing. The girls clung to an inner tube giggling and tumbled with the surf. I relaxed with my current novel in a beach chair alternating between answering cries of "Mommy, Mommy, look at me" and laughing at Robert being tossed out of the tube by crashing waves. Near the end of the day, Nathanael was stung by a jellyfish on his chest. Robert teased him about the two options for treatment: vinegar or pee. Mortified, he opted for the vinegar and we went in search of the park ranger. Poor guy, the vinegar hurt almost as much as the sting, but he gritted his teeth and allowed me to spray him down. He wore the welt as a badge of courage as the neighborhood kids all came by to see the battle scar later this afternoon. We were surprised that the kids had the energy to go outside after cleaning up from the beach, but they played for several more hours tossing the football in the front yard. Kristina came in here a few moments ago and leaned against the bed asking about something. She lost her train of thought for a moment and, surprised, I looked into her face to see her eyes heavily lidded. "You're tired!" I exclaimed. "No, I not," she returned. "Oh yes you are. I can see it in your eyes," I confirmed. Not to be outdone, she replied, "That's not tired. That's sea water, Mom"

The Seven of Us

2008-03-31T15:41:00.001-04:00

Redeeming the Time

2008-03-31T15:40:00.000-04:00

We are welcoming Spring Break with open arms. Its a much needed step back from teaching and studying. The kids ended their semester with improved grades and we're thankful for the breather. Of course, this much down time can present its own problems. Kristina does well with structure and so this week promises to bring its own challenges.

I remember reading an article in middle school about Americans' preoccupation with entertainment and the "vast American wasteland" it made of our time. We've made more conscientious choices about how we spend our time in the last six months. We don't have cable, but we still found it tempting to sit and veg in front of the television when there's only 6 channels to choose from. So we pulled the plug. Just pulled it. Unless there's something we definitively want to watch, it stays off. Initially this was met with some resistance. But when we provided the kids with alternatives, they quickly moved on.

We push them outside to play as much as possible. The neighborhood kids inevitable gather outside our house for a four square match or to ride bikes and skateboard. I'm typing away in the Adirondack chairs right now as eight children zip across the yard in a high drama game of hide and seek. The weather has been great and we've even been able to venture out to the pool. Kristina is re-learning how to swim, but she's determined!

We also limited the kids' access to the computer and video game system. For the last few years we only allowed them to play games on the weekends, but we found that when we wanted to go somewhere the kids would start whining about their "play time". So we changed their tech time to Friday afternoons after school. That leaves Saturday and Sunday open for family outings with no complaints.

Our kids are growing up fast and we want to teach them to be good stewards of their time. I'm sure part of this stems from my background as an English teacher, but we are encouraging our kids to be voracious readers. We have a wonderful local library and take full advantage its services. Robert makes a habit of taking one kid at a time with him to Starbucks on the weekend. They arrive at 6am, grab a hot chocolate, settle into the comfy chairs in the lobby, and read for an hour until they can watch the sun come up.

Books in Kristina's native language have been hard to come by. She has a New Testament in Russian that she reads diligently with a highlighter in hand. I'm thinking of purchasing her a parallel version with English in one column and Russian in the other. Before I left Ukraine, I managed to get a copy of Eragon in Russian for Kristina.She took one look at the size of the book (768 pages)and declared she couldn't read it, it was too big. With a little encouragement she made it through and was asking for the next book in the series. In hindsight, I wish I had purchased a few more books for her in Russian. Its been incredibly difficult to find anything online. I took her to the library in search of something in English she could understand and found a series of Hannah Montana books that she was interested in. Before I knew it she was reading two books a day and had exhausted the series. The search was on for something else that she would enjoy and comprehend. She recently found Tales of the Frog Princess, a series by E.D. Baker, and has been reading nonstop. These are age level books and we're amazed at her ability to understand and enjoy the literature. She carries her library card like it worth gold. Rarely does she goes out without a book tucked in her purse. We went for a picnic at the state park down the road yesterday. As we walked the boardwalk through the nature trail, we discovered they had built an enclosed glass gazebo that stretches out over the water on the lake. In the center of the structure are benches that provide scenic panoramic views of the waters. Guess where we're heading with our books tomorrow . . .

Well Oiled Machine

2008-03-21T18:40:00.013-04:00

Kristina tends to be resourceful and has a strong work ethic. Its something that was instilled into her at the internot. Several mornings while we were in Ukraine, we arrived to find kids weaving brooms together from sticks they gathered in the yard to sweep the drive leading around the internot. Once we found Kristina mopping the floor of the orphanage playroom with an old shirt and a stick, though she claims to love American mops! I was impressed watching her darn a pair of socks that I would have thrown out. By the time she was done with them they looked quite good. We saw this side of her when she came for the summer in 2006. The dust buster was her best friend and I caught her vacuuming crumbs from the floorboard of the car several times. When she came home for good in December, she jumped right into cleaning and pitching in around the house. So much so, that often very few chores were left for the other children. Of course, the kids weren't complaining! But Robert and I knew we needed to find a balance for the burden of chores in the household. I came up with a list of household duties in Microsoft Excel that the kids could sign off on as they completed them (U, aren't you proud of me?). This gave us a good idea of who was (and was not) doing what in the house. The kids have really enjoyed choosing how they want to contribute. They know we expect them to choose at least four chores daily and they don't have privileges until these are done. Often they will complete their chores before school to free up playtime in the afternoon, learning time management in the process. As I was typing this, Robert started shouting at me to bring the camera. This, friends, is not on the chore chart!

Half Full Family

2008-03-20T16:37:00.008-04:00

I took the day off work to catch up on some assignments from an online class I'm taking, to try and recoup from this cold, and to run some errands. One of my stops included Target where I picked up a set of headbands for the girls. Hannah has an old headband with nail polish stains that she uses to pull her hair back with when she washes her face. Last night Kristina asked to wear it to school and Hannah explained to her that it really isn't in good enough condition to wear as an accessory. When they brought the dilemma to me, I offered to get new headbands. I left the new headbands in the girls' room and figured that was that. Shortly after they returned from school, raised voices wafted down the hallway and prompted my attention.

"Mom, she says the headbands are hers. Aren't they for us to share?" Hannah asked. I explained they were indeed to share, at which point Kristina declared that she didn't want them. I shrugged and said, "Okay. Looks like you have some new headbands, Hannah." Of course, that's not the response she was hoping to get. She started to cry and go on and on about how in Russia she never had to share (malarkey). What if she gets lice? (right) Nataliya (her caregiver) didn't allow them to share hairbands in the internot. I responded, "You're not in Russia anymore, you're in America. In this family we share. Period. The children have never had lice, however if you get lice, I will buy shampoo that gets rid of them. Nataliya isn't in charge anymore, I am. I'm your mother and I say we share."

"I don't care; I don't want them," she insisted. I left the room and eventually had to return because I could hear her berating Hannah still. At that point I told her that until she had something nice to say, she couldn't say anything at all. (Sound familiar, Mom and Dad?) Hannah went outside to read her book in the chairs and give Kristina some space. Staying quiet is almost as difficult as staying still for Kristina! After a few minutes, Kristina made her way to my room red faced, hoping to rehash the conversation again. After attempting the same rationale she used before, I stopped her and reminded her she wasn't in Russia anymore, she wasn't in the internot anymore, and that as a family we share. Robert pointed out that even if we were wealthy and could buy lots of things, we would still share. God has called us to be good stewards of the things we have.

She stared at the floor for a long time, folding and refolding a pair of socks on the corner of my bed. She asked if I was mad at her. I said I was disappointed in her behavior, but not mad. She asked if she could go outside and apologize to Hannah. I told her I thought that would be a good idea. "Mom, you say we not rich, but we are rich because we have God," she tossed over her shoulder as she went to seek out her sister. Her insight continually catches me off guard. When she makes these observations, it makes all of the struggle worth while. Helping her learn to see things vertically, rather than horizontally, that's our desire as parents.

We've had a series of challenges lately that we've felt led to share. Its not all rough going though. Kristina is making great strides and brings us so much joy. As I type this, I can hear Robert, Kristina, and Hannah cackling with laughter at the kitchen table. Undoubtedly, someone has belched. Some things never change.

I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.
-II Timothy 1:12

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

2008-03-18T18:53:00.006-04:00

Isn't there a saying out there that goes, "when it rains, it pours" or "bad things happen in threes"? Really, I'm not superstitious, but we've had our hands full lately. Kristina's mainstream teacher called to tell me about an incident at school. Don't worry, she didn't go Rocky Balboa on anyone, it was an obedience issue. I hate that things seem to be happening back to back for her, but nevertheless we found ourselves once again confronting her about her choices.

She wasn't exactly open to the conversation. She had a meltdown and went into a weeping, flinging herself on the bed, "everyone hates me, I can't be good, I hate school" rant. I know you gentle parents out there will cringe, but I don't put up with that sort of response. I put her in her room until she calmed down. When I let her know dinner was ready, she declared she wasn't eating and rolled over to face the wall. After dinner I went in to see if she had any homework she needed help with. She reluctantly pulled out her social studies book and a worksheet.

As we were working through the paper, I observed her stiffen slightly before she posed the question, "How old I am before I can go back to Ukraine?" I didn't react, but calmly responded that she would need to be eighteen to travel by herself. At that point she put her book down and regaled me with information about her uncle. Supposedly this uncle lived close to her maternal grandmother and told her he was coming to adopt her . . .but . . . we got there first. Now, mind you, we've never heard about this uncle and none of her paperwork shows that she has a living uncle. I think the uncle story is a defense mechanism for her. She is doubting her worth and coming to grips with the fact that her biological family could not and did not claim her. I explained this as tenderly as I could. I also reminded her that no matter where she traveled in the world, she would always be part of our family. No distance could change that fact. I told her I hoped we could take a trip back to Ukraine together one day.

Perhaps her nerves are raw from the number of discipline issues that have cropped up in the last week. I don't know what God is trying to teach her, or us for that matter, but I do know He is dealing with her on a number of levels. I am sympathetic to her transition, however, I simply won't allow her to wallow in who she has been. Kristina was an orphan. She is no longer an abandoned child. She has been redeemed by a family who loves her beyond measure. It is so easy for us to revert back to our past identities when things get hard. We are encouraging her to persevere, lay aside the old life, and remember that she is a child of promise. It will take time for her to be sanctified to that conclusion. We plan to hold her to the standards of her new calling with plenty of grace and love.

So there ends our terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. To top it all off, I missed spending the day with Sasha and dinner with my girlfriends because of this nasty cold. And you thought that picture at the beginning of the post was of Kristina . .

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
-Romans 8:38-39

Martian Child

2008-03-15T17:49:00.003-04:00

Good movies seem to be few and far between. Last weekend we stumbled across Martian Child with John Cusack at the video store. Those of you who already adopted will have so many "oh, yeah" moments. Its worth a rent.

Cusack play an adoptive father who does his best as a new parent to a child who has been hurt and abandoned. I love that he realizes that even though he himself is a mess, he can love this child that is just as much of a mess. Favorite line from the movie: "I'm waiting for the man with the UV protection." The truth is, there are over a million children in the world waiting too.

Grace Abounding

2008-03-14T17:25:00.003-04:00

Kristina's week hasn't much improved. I got a call from her ESOL teacher yesterday. It seems mommy's little angel clocked a boy in her class. (I'll pause for everyone to gasp.) The teacher had vague details, but a boy was bothering her and somehow it ended with him on the ground with a big bump and bruise on his forehead.

I had a parent teacher conference after school that day, so she beat me home. I found her kneeling on my bed, pillow clutched to her chest, pleading her case to Robert who already knew about the situation. While we don't excuse her behavior, I do understand why she hit the kid after hearing the details. She has had a survivor mentality for so long. In her mind if she didn't protect herself, no one would. We had to reaffirm the fact that her teachers can and will protect her while she is at school. I think she'll turn to one of them if this should happen again.

So next week she will pay for her transgression with a day of in school suspension. (Gasp again) She DID make the wrong decision. The other kid got punished too (and a souvenir from the fight). Robert looked at her as we were walking out the door this afternoon and jokingly said, "You're just a trouble maker, aren't you?" "What's that?" she asked. "You make trouble," he said. She thought for a minute, smiled, shrugged and said, "I guess so!" And the grace continues to flow . . .

Blessed Assurance

2008-03-12T19:08:00.003-04:00

I hate confronting sin. Its an ugly, unpleasant task. Dealing with my own shortcomings has always keep me busy enough, but as a mom I have to deal with the sin nature of five other little people. Its my job to call them on the carpet when they make wrong choices. In that role, I try to emulate the Father as much as possible: confronting sin plainly, offering forgiveness freely, and reassuring love unconditionally.

A situation arose with Kristina this week in which God called me to do all of these things. I learned she had done something and I was beyond disappointed. I dreaded the coming conversation in which I would have to confront her and hope that she would confess what I already knew.

This afternoon I took up my usual position in the Adirondack chairs under the tree in the front yard. I attempted to focus on the book on my lap, but found myself straining to listen for the school bus. Eventually the sound of their chatter drifted towards me as they made their way down the street. Skipping up the drive in her customized sneakers, she plopped her book bag at my feet and fell into the empty chair next to me. I waited until the other children wandered off to begin their homework before I broached the dreaded conversation.

I wish I could lead into a sweet anecdote about how she readily confessed the transgression, but that just isn't what happened. I asked. She denied. I asked again. She lied. I revealed the proof and she became speechless. Her eyes grew round and large and she seemed to shrink within the space of her chair. Once it was out in the open I explained that her choice was not one that we approved of and we were disappointed with her actions. It was clear she knew how serious the situation was as she glanced over her shoulder to the closed front door of the house and then back to me. I had never seen her look that way before. There was something about her face that made my heart sink before she even spoke the words. "Are you sending me back to Ukraine?" She sat motionless waiting for my answer as tears slipped silently down her cheeks.

It was an unfathomable question. "There is nothing you could ever do that would separate you from this family. There is no lie you could ever tell that would make us love you any less. You are one of us and you will always be one of us." Her chest heaved a sigh as if she had been holding her breath. Her face softened as the terrified look melted away. She believed me.

As she hugged me, I contemplated what would cause her to think such a thing. Obviously, her past. She had been forsaken for a lot less. Those she has counted on to love and protect her have abused and abandoned her. We discussed the consequences for her decision and she gathered her things from the lawn. She has spent the remainder of the afternoon grounded in her room. I swear I've never seen a happier punished kid in my life!

The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.
As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him
-Psalm 103:8-13

Substance of Things Hoped For

2008-03-08T21:59:00.003-05:00

So today makes three months that we've been home; three months that we've been a family. Its amazing how far we've come. Much of the progress and change we don't realize until we can look back on it. Its like looking at pictures from years ago and seeing the differences. Funny how time lends clarity to things.

Speaking of time, Kristina completed an autobiography assignment for ESOL class this week. The project required her to write down significant dates and events from her life, plot them on a timeline, and put them in a paragraph. All of it was completed at school, so I didn't see it until she brought it home. This is her final product.

One thing in particular stood out to me: the fact that she had written that our family had adopted her in the summer of 2006. As most of you know we hosted Kristina through Frontier Horizon during the summer, but we adopted Kristina at the end of 2007. I figured it was a "typo". When I asked her about this she said, "Yes, you adopted me the summer I come to America." I questioned her further and she went on to explain. "I am family that summer. You just came for me a little while later." She stood with one hand on her hip, curling a strand of hair wrapped around her finger, waiting for me to make sense of it. Strange how she considers the legalities of the adoption process as a simple transaction that had taken place after the fact. In her mind and heart, she became one of us during that warm and lazy summer that seems so long ago.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. - Hebrews 11:1

How Do You Solve a Problem WITH Kristina?

2008-03-03T20:16:00.006-05:00

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Kristina?

2008-02-29T20:36:00.006-05:00

Julie Andrews I am not, although our family seems to resemble the von Trapps more each year. I've had a few emails asking me to discuss the issues that have arisen as we parent Kristina. Like many children who have passed through the orphanage system, she has seen and experienced more than any child should. We deal with issues as they arise as creatively and patiently as possible. God is teaching me so much through this. Robert laughs at my frustration and takes great joy in reminding me how alike Kristina and I are: our stubbornness, our inability to admit when we need help, etc. So in a way, as I discipline her, I am being disciplined by our heavenly Father with the same lessons.

Initially, it was the things she wanted that irked me: teen magazines, makeup, clothes, shoes, etc. The first two are absolute no no's. I made that clear right away. She is coming from a culture that values the worth of a person largely based on the exterior appearance and entering a culture that does the same thing on a whole different level. Last summer Kristina would flip through magazines and point to pictures indicating, "This woman is good. She is a good woman." The "good women" were the beautiful ones. At first, I thought it was just a matter of miscommunication. But after some time and several conversations, I came to understand she really was judging people by their appearance. Beautiful, glamorous people were good. It alarmed me to know that her concept of people was based on physical observation. After spending time in Ukraine, I think I understand why she thinks like this. Like any other 12 year old, she wants to be 30 years old. But the desire is SO much more pronounced with Kristina. She struggles with understanding that she's still a child and we find ourselves putting her in her place quite a bit.

Bringing Kristina home right before Christmas was a mixed bag of blessings. While we were excited to share the holiday with her, I wanted to be sure that we didn't set an unrealistic precedent with gift giving. Before we had even left Ukraine, she had gotten in the habit of asking for things any time we went in a store. While the cost of the things she was asking for ($2 for a magazine, $1 for chap stick) wasn't much, I didn't want to satisfy her developing desire to have stuff just because she could.

I actually avoided taking her shopping at Wal-Mart when we first came home. Everything was "fascinating" and "beautiful" and her "favorite". I often had to prep her before we went into stores that she wasn't to ask for anything (don't laugh, Dad). We would walk up and down the aisles and she would pick up items, clutch them to her chest, and whimper to indicate her desire for the cherished product. I would shake my head, hide my growing agitation at the routine, and ignore the protruding lower lip she would inevitably sport. Differentiating between wants and needs has been an ongoing lesson for Kristina. You would think that a kid who has had so little for so long would be able to distinguish between the two, but no.

I bought her a pair of black athletic shoes at Target before I returned to pick her up in November. I checked her size before I left Ukraine and asked her what color she wanted. She was thrilled with them when I returned. But once we got to America, she wanted different shoes. She wanted new ones. I explained that we only buy new shoes when we need them, not when we want them. "Need them" means you've outgrown them and I have found a pair on sale and in your size. She continued to grumble about needing new ones and I continued to have her recite the difference between "wants" and "needs". Sporting muddy tennis shoes that they were busting out of from 6 months of wear and tear, Samuel and Nathanael returned from a youth retreat with the church around that time. I promptly took Kristina along to shop for the boys' new shoes. Now, some of you will say that was cruel, but I wanted her to understand how the process works. Wanna guess what she did?

At first it was just a wear mark the size of a nickel on the front toe of one shoe; the result of Fred Flintstone style brakes for her bike. She insisted that now she needed new shoes. Livid, I showed Robert what she had done. He smiled, called her in the room, and showed her how he could fix the problem with a black Sharpie. Her face fell as she watched him "color" the worn areas away. It wasn't much longer before she came in sporting these:

No Sharpie in the world was going to fix that kind of damage. So you know what I did? I went to Wal-Mart, found an adorable pair of athletic shoes in her size at 70% off, and . . . put them in the back of my closet. I've made her wear those pathetic, torn up shoes for the last three weeks. Knowing that she has to wear those shoes unless they spontaneously combust has caused her to take better care of them. She's embarrassed by the way they look and I smile every time I hear her sigh as she laces them up. She doesn't know I have a new pair in my closet and until she learns to value what she has, rather than what she wants, she won't see them at the end of her scrawny little legs.

I also bought her a pair of flip flops and a pair of dress shoes for church when we returned from Ukraine. When we went shopping for the church shoes, she wanted heels. Can you see me standing the in the shoe aisle with my eyebrows raised? "Um, no." I picked out a cute pair of open toe flats which she promptly turned her nose up at. She found a different pair that we could agree on and those became her church shoes. Until . . . we got home and she saw Hannah's open toe flats and decided she wanted those instead. Every Sunday I hear her mumble under her breath, "Hannah shoes so pretty. I want shoes like Hannah, but Mama says no". I told her she's welcome to wear her athletic shoes instead . . .

:)

I guess the problem is really a heart issue. Learning to be content with what you have, learning to place value on treasures of the heart rather than the pocket, its a learning process for all of us.

Testing, Testing, One, Two, Three . . .

2008-02-29T17:11:00.000-05:00

Anyone still out there? Chances are I'm talking to Dad who is my lone audience, but I'll take that chance. Lest you think its all rock concerts, let me get you up to speed. There hasn't been a lot of posting going on lately and that's not because we're following Hannah Montana on tour around America or something. Really, its not all that exciting around here. I'm not complaining though! We've settled into a routine of school, church, friends, and family and that's just how I like it.

Let me give a genuine piece of advice to future AP's and new AP's. This is going to sound obvious, but its not something I did right away. Make time for yourself soon and often once you return home. It was a Friday afternoon and I was exhausted at the end of a long week. I had been teacher, tutor, mom, wife, interpreter, referee, and much more. I was on the way to drop the boys off for a weekend retreat with their youth group when Robert called to say he was taking the other three to the dollar movie. It hit me that I had at least two and a half hours of uninterrupted "me" time on my hands. I can't begin to tell you how rare a commodity that is! I rushed home to a quiet, empty house. The cats, sensing the change in atmosphere, followed me into the darkening living room. I popped in a movie knowing I would be able to watch it the whole way through without having to pause it and tend to any emergencies. Just this little bit of time did so much for me.

Make time for relationships outside the home too. I thought I would come out of my skin the first time I was able to sit down across from my best friends Cindy and Kim away from the hustle and bustle of home. They couldn't talk fast enough to update me on what had been going on in their lives. And I was beyond anxious to share what had been going on with us. Girl time has been a precious thing for me and we're already scouting fares and hotel deals for our annual trip. Stepping outside of the the role of mom (adoptive or otherwise) is just necessary sometimes.

Kristina continues to adjust and adapt to life as a Landrum. I've been trying to put in writing the difficulties adjusting for all of us, but finding the words has been a lot harder than you'd think. I believe God is in the middle of a lesson with me, so when I figure things out I'll let you know. ;)

We've said before that we feel God was beginning something when He added Kristina to our family. The adoption was the start of something rather than the end. Do we hope to add more children to our family through adoption? Absolutely. But God is calling us to serve further in orphan ministry, and we are waiting for direction to that end. Please pray with us that the vision and vehicle for that ministry would be clear.

What are the Odds?

2008-01-31T19:59:00.000-05:00

You may remember that I was able to take Hannah to see Hannah Montana in concert in Tampa back in November. It was a great last outing with just the two of us before we went back to Ukraine for Kristina. I knew that a live concert would be unfathomable for Kristina, but Hannah and I spoke about how fun it would have been to have her with us.

Back in Decemeber, Miley Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana) announced she was extending her tour and including two shows in Orlando in late January. I knew it was a long shot, but I was going to try to get tickets for the three of us. On the morning of their release, I was on the TicketMaster website with my finger perched on the key to request tickets. Unforunately, the show was sold out in a matter of minutes and I never got my request through. As the concert date approached, I checked CraigsList and eBay frequently hoping to find reasonably priced tickets. No luck. The tickets were reselling for the most rediculous prices. Kristina asked this past weekend if we could go and I explained that there was no way.

Monday morning, I was sitting at my desk reflecting on that conversation. I did one last check of eBay and Craigslist and still didn't find anything. I decided to call the Orlando Ticket Master box office, but it was 5 minutes before they opened. As I hung up on the recorded messages, I remembered a friend telling me how she had gotten tickets the morning of a show once. I steeled myself against the idea of actually getting tickets to avoid the disappointment that inevitably laid at the end of the conversation with the box office. I watched the minutes tick by on the clock in my room and decided it couldn't hurt to try. This time I got a representative and inquired after tickets for that night's show. A long sigh came across the line, "That show has been long sold out, but I can check." The click of her keyboard was audible through the phone and then, "Hmmmmm. Actually, there are a few tickets. They must have just been released." "Wait, I don't think I understood you. Did you say there are tickets?" "Yes, but let me see where they're located. They may be singles and not together," she cautioned. "Hmmmm. Well, they actually really good seats, one row off the floor." Obviously, I took the tickets. The fact that we were able to get all of them for less than the cost of what one scalper's ticket in the top balcony section was selling for, made the deal that much sweeter. I printed the tickets and couldn't wait to get home to tell the girls. Want to see what that revelation looked like?

The concert was great, even the second time around. We were so close to the stage, it was unbelievable. Everlife opened the concert. They're a girl group, three Christian sisters, and they were actually very good. Miley's dad Billy Ray Cyrus had flown to Orlando for the concert and he came out near the end and performed some songs with her. So what did Kristina think of the whole concert experience? I'd already decided that she's a hummingbird trapped in a little girl's body. Imagine that at a rock concert and you get 3 straight hours of this:

and a little of this:

At the end of a very loud evening, I was relieved to know that home was just a 20 minute drive up I-4 rather than the nearly two hour trek Hannah and I had when we had seen the concert in Tampa. We made our way through the ocean of fans pouring out of the arena and headed towards the parking garage to join the endless line of cars already snaking around the building's perimeter. I directed the children up the stairs and onto the level we had parked the car. We walked to the end of the lot when Hannah made the observation, "Mom, where's our car?" I spun around to check the level number and we were in the right place. We walked back down to the next level where a group of police officers was gathered. "Um, excuse me," I interrupted, "My car is missing." "If its a Dodge Durango, then we're trying to find it now. We think it was illegally towed," he replied. I was only slightly comforted by the fact that it hadn't been stolen. My plans to be home and in bed before 10:30 were quickly slipping away. A security guard noticed that I was wearing my school ID and offered to let us wait in the School Board Complex next door until everything was sorted out.

It was nearing midnight before the officer explained that if we wanted to get home, we'd probably have to pay the tow guy and work out the details at a later time. The tow company had taken the car waaayyyy out by the airport to an impound lot. By the time we made it there, it was after midnight and the driver had left to go get another car! We waited twenty minutes for him to return and when he came back, there was no reasoning with the man. He demanded $125 in cash to release my car. Let me tell you, I was not happy about walking up to an ATM machine at that hour. The ATM only dispenses $20 bills, so when I returned and handed him $140 he smiled and said, "Sorry, I don't have change." "So you'll just take $120 then, right?" Robert pressed. He wasn't budging. "There's a 7-11 down the road and you can probably get change there," he persisted. It was cold, it was late, and the evening needed to end. We paid him his ransom money and got the car. The evening didn't exactly end like I imagined, but its never dull around here!

Back to the Fishin' Hole

2008-01-24T20:37:00.000-05:00

See, you should never make promises. I said I would update more often and well, I didn't. So I thought I'd give you a quick update on a favorite pastime we've been indulging in once again. Those of you who know us know we're a fishing family. Robert is a country boy, born and raised hunting and fishing in the woods of Mississippi. We introduced Kristina to fishing during the summer of 2006. The first time Robert rattled the poles and set out the tackle box a few weeks ago, she was on his heels. There's a charming little fishing hole in biking distance from the house. The shaded platform looks out over a lily pad speckled lake. The fish bite almost as soon as the hook hits the water. Even if they're small and Robert has to throw them back, the kids still get wound up just from the tug on the line. The boys have learned how to scale and clean their catch while the girls squeal in disgust. While I don't eat them, I do love to catch them (the one pictured at the top is MY catch!)

This past weekend, we ventured down the road to one of the state parks and tried our luck off the pier. Not much was biting, but before long we had a crowd of kids watching the seven of us casting into the dark waters. Robert noticed their intent interest and before I knew it had them lined up to try their hand at fishing. One of the moms walked over and commented on how good Robert is with children. She wanted to know if he was a teacher. I told her that with five children, I guess in a way he is.

We're continuing to be blessed by God in so many areas of our lives. Things aren't perfect (a post is coming on that soon enough), but we wouldn't want things any other way.

Growing in Grace

2008-01-09T18:22:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry that we dropped off the face of the world for the past 10 days. I truly didn't intend for that to happen. We've spent time with family and had friends over. Email and voice mails have built up and I feel bad for letting it go so long. When Cindy and Gabby showed up on the doorstep last night and mentioned that they've been visiting the blog (hint, hint), I figured I better check in. The holiday was a wonderful time of togetherness for all of us. Its amazing how God has knitted us together as a family through everyday experiences. It has made me treasure the common things that make our lives so blessed. Some snapshots of our time over the last few weeks:

I think its the earliest childhood memory I have. My small hands gripped the chrome handle in front of me. My thighs aching with tension as I perched astride the yellow tank. The helmet muffling my father's voice as he gave me a warning, "Ready?" My hands, stony gripped on the metal bar, sought a tighter hold as the dirt bike began its ascent up the sand dune. He was the only one I would ride with, the only one I trusted. The motorcycles scared and thrilled me all at the same time. Kristina got her first experience on the motorcycle at my parents' house. She clung to Robert's back squealing as he whizzed across the back acre on the four wheeler. She showed little fear as she tried to ride the mini bike. It didn't take her long to get the hang of it and she spent much of the time asking when it was her turn to ride again.

Having so many brothers at the orphanage gave Kristina just the edge she needed to climb in the trees with the boys and swing from the rope swing until one of them snapped from overuse!

In the last few weeks, Kristina was able to reconnect with several friends who have been adopted by American families. Each Saturday or Sunday she chats endlessly in high pitched Russian with girls that she lived with for years in the orphanage. We're thankful that she has the opportunity to practice and use Russian. A few days ago, we learned that one of her friends would actually be in the Orlando area for a day. Anya and Kristina were very close and we couldn't pass up the chance for the girls to see each other again. We met up with Anya and her family for a few hours. The girls were immediately whispers and hugs. It was good to compare notes with Anya's parents. They're a wonderful family.

We visited Sea World and Busch Gardens (thanks, K!). Kristina still loves roller coasters and she even convinced Hannah to ride every one of them with her. They were drenched after riding the River Rapids, but insisted on going on more rides.

Church has been an exercise in self control for Kristina. She is still a constantly moving bundle of chatty energy. She cradles the song book, following the lines with her finger, belting out words here and there that she recognizes. When its time for the preaching, she turns her face into my arm and I can feel her warm breathe through my sleeve. She tries so hard not to strike up a conversation with me as she studies her church shoes swinging back and forth under the pew. Last Sunday Kristina was able to observe communion. I love the way our church practices this cherished sacrament. We knelt at the front of the church together as a family. She looked around curiously at the other families that were gathering together. Tom knelt before us, took Kristina's hand, and thanked God for bringing her into our family before he reminded us of the significance of the elements we were going to partake of. She watched as we each took the bread and wine and I loved that God would use her curiosity to provide us with a teachable moment.

So, is it all rainbows and lollipops? Of course not. We've had our fair share of growing pains, but the 10 weeks she spent with us in the summer of 2006 laid a very firm foundation. We went through much of the painful transition and willful disobedience back then (just check the past posts if you don't believe me). I appreciate that other adoptive parents like Jim, Beth, and Sean have been so honest about this period of time after adoption. Knitting a family together is not an instantaneous thing. God uses the process to refine all of us, parents, children, siblings. There have been times that I have thrown my hands up in the air and huffed out of the room. Robert has been the real hero in this portion of our journey. He has had the patience of Job, taking the time to speak with the children (over and over) about expectations and compassion for one another.

I returned to teaching this week. That's another story all to itself about the provision and goodness of God. It is so good to be back in the classroom and ministering with the gifts God has given me. All of us are enjoying school. Kristina is doing so well. We consistently reinforce in her that she is the smartest Ukrainian girl in the whole school! She's very proud of that fact!

I promise to try and be more consistent with posting. You all have been so faithful to check in and leave words of encouragement for us. We still believe that this is the beginning of an exciting journey for our family and we are in prayer over the path we think God may be calling us to. Please continue to lift us up in prayer!

New Year's Celebration

2007-12-31T22:39:00.001-05:00

A big thank you to our friend Nataliya who reminded us of the significance of the New Year's celebration in Ukraine!

Home for the Holidays

2007-12-26T21:02:00.000-05:00

The sounds were so faint that I might have dismissed them altogether and drifted back to sleep, but lying in the darkness I knew that I had heard something. I rolled up onto my elbow and strained my ears against the quiet of the house. Robert, sensing my movement, murmured in question to me. "Shhhh . . ." I breathed out as softly as I could.

There it was again.

The clock read 6 am. I rose quietly from the bed and padded across the carpeting to the door. Standing in the doorway of the bedroom peering down the darkened hallway, I listened again.

Nothing.

I turned seeking the warmth of the bed once more when something made me stop. It was just a touch, a small stirring, but I had heard it. One step backwards placed me in the doorway again and I peered around the doorjamb to look into the darkened hall once more. "What is it?" Robert whispered. I waved at him to stay quiet and waited. Slowly another door opened off the hallway and two shadows melted into the empty corridor. Their exaggerated tiptoeing made me purse my lips together to keep from laughing. The one in front reached back to make sure her accomplice was treading closely behind. The one bringing up the rear whispered anxiously to the one in front.

"Do you know what time it is?" I spoke into the darkness just feet behind them. They squealed and jumped as if they had been burned. Immediately the betrayals started. "I told her it was too early to be up!" "No, Mama, we just want to see if presents are under tree. We not going to open anything!" "What time is it? She said we could get up!"

I shooed them back into their beds with a stern warning not to get up again until it was daylight. Fearing the worst, they obediently slipped back into the darkness of their room. Their arguing whispers could be heard from the hall. "I told you so!" "No, you say we can see!" "No, I said it was too early!" I stepped back into my room and covered my mouth so that they would not hear me laughing at them. I was amused and awake by this time, so I made my way to the kitchen where mom was already starting to cook Christmas dinner. I relayed Hannah and Kristina's attempt to sneak a peek under the tree and we had a good laugh. Robert passed through the kitchen and leaned up the stairs to where the boys were sleeping. "Anyone up there want to open presents?" "Robert!" I scolded. "Every one's already up anyway," he shrugged. Everyone made their way to the living room and I went back to the girls' room to summon them in. "What are you guys doing in here? Every one's in the living room to open presents." "Mama!" they protested at my teasing.

They could barely sit still to let me take a few pictures before they opened their gifts. As usual, they all came away with much more than they actually needed. Kristina got a camera and a Gameboy. She alternated between the two throughout the day, never getting bored. The girls built a gingerbread house with grandma later that afternoon. It was a nice low key day with lots to be thankful for.

We pray that all of you had a blessed day and could rejoice with family and friends over the birth of our Saviour. We are thankful for the tremendous blessings He has bestowed upon us and the mercy and grace He has allowed us to walk in as we are blending our family together. Thank you to all of you who have continued to write and leave comments of encouragement for us. It is a blessing to see how God has spoken to many of you through our experience. To God be the glory, great things he hath done!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-18T16:32:00.000-05:00

My New Life

2007-12-16T20:30:00.000-05:00

It was just a matter of time, right? I have a few blogs, Robert has 2 blogs, Hannah has a blog, our family has a blog. Even Jim's newly adopted daughter Anastasia has her own blog. So when Kristina came to understand the term "blog", she immediately wanted in. I debated over setting up her own blog and have decided to hold off for a little while. The computer is in enough demand nowadays. :) So here's her first draft from earlier this week on what she wanted to share.

Sunday I came from Odessa to America. I like my new home. America is not dirty and has good people. I like my family. My favorite thing is to have a family. And I have a family right now. In our family there are five children. When I lived with my mother in Ukraine I did not have brothers or sisters. Since Sunday I have brothers and a sister.

Tomorrow I am going to school. I had friends in the orphanage. My best friend in the orphanage is Karina I will miss her and my other friends. Some children in the orphanage are funny. But my papa is very funny. He yelled out Russian words all day. I am teaching him Russian. I love to teach my father Russian. I really like my new mama. She is so beautiful and papa is cute. We will have Christmas with my new grand parents in MS. My grandmother is very sweet. They gave me money for an allowance which I will save for a camera. I like my sister very much. Yesterday my brothers had their birthday.

I like High School Musical. Today mama bought me school supplies that say High School Musical. Yesterday we went to the pet store. I like a dog there. I cried for him because he does not have a home. But he can get adopted like me. Today I am going back to the pet store to pet a dog.

My papa asked me what I want for Christmas and I said I want High School Musical movie and my ears pierced. Papa said if I give him my ten dollars he will do it for me with his toothpick from lunch. (Robert offered to pierce her ears for her if she would give him her money!) I like to ride my new bicycle. We have a Christmas tree in our home. I have two pets. Jack and Jetta are cats. Jack is cute. He is fat. He catches snakes, mice, birds, and lizards. Jetta is slim and does not like to be picked up. She likes to be outside.

First Day of School

2007-12-12T18:39:00.000-05:00

Today started with much primping as Kristina tried to use the straightener on her naturally wavy hair. By the time we arrived to school, it was already turning under on the ends. She was a bundle of nervous energy as the secretary called back to the classroom. Her teacher walked up to the office to walk her to class personally. A quick kiss from her lip glossed mouth and off she went. I said a silent prayer and headed home to try and make some order of the chaos of the house.

I could hear her and Hannah before they even got to the door this afternoon. She skimmed past me, dropping her book bag on the chair, and headed to her room to look for something. "Wait! Come here! How was school?" I shouted after her. "She did good, Mom," Hannah offered. Eventually she reemerged and said, "First I don't like, but then I like. There are many good girls. They are very good to me." Hannah confirmed that the other girls had been kind and inclusive with Kristina. "Can I ride bike, Mama?" she asked, hand perched on her hip. "Is that it? What else happened today?" I probed. She shrugged and waited for me to dismiss her. I raised my eyebrows and said, "Anything else you want to tell me?" Looking up to the ceiling, she twisted her face up thinking back over the events of the day. "Boy talked to me, but I didn't talk to him," she added. I shook my head and waved her towards the door.

Well, she survived. I'm sure we'll have our bumps along the way, but she made it through today.

Home Sweet Home

2007-12-11T20:50:00.000-05:00

My husband, the original blog bully, has been hounding me for the last few days to update the blog. I apologize. It has always driven me nuts to follow other families' blogs and then watch them fall off the face of the earth upon returning home. Now, I'm aware that re-entry is a huge adjustment for the adoptive child and parent, but there's an intense need to follow a story to its conclusion. For those of you who have tuned in for that purpose, let me assure you that this story, Kristina's story, is far from over.

Let me back up to Saturday morning. I got up early enough to check the flights on the computers in the business center to make sure there were no delays. Everything was in order and we headed to the Kiev airport to check in at the NWA/KLM counter. I gave the woman behind the counter our paperwork and she began typing away. Its when she got that "look" that I started to feel uneasy. The typing slowed and she looked at the computer monitor like what she was seeing wasn't what she expected. She called a supervisor over and they began pointing at the monitor and arguing (although, doesn't everyone sound like they're arguing in Ukraine?). I whispered to Kristina, "What are they saying?" She shrugged and I mustered up the courage to say, "Is there a problem?" One of the women explained that our the second leg of our flight from Amsterdam to Minneapolis had been canceled. Okay, was there an alternate route available? Yes, in fact, Kristina was already rescheduled on a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit. However, I wasn't. "Mama? We not going to America today?" she asked panicked. I repeated to the woman behind the counter what I told my Uncle Keith who made the reservations for us earlier that week, "Put me with the luggage or with livestock, but I have to be on a plane headed to America NOW." She resumed her typing and scrunching up her face at the screen until the printer began to whirl and she placed tickets on the counter.

On the first plane, we were seated next to an elderly woman. Kristina took ownership of the old woman, searching out the stewardess to order hot water when the woman needed tea and chatting about where she was going. The flight from Amsterdam to America included seats with personal videos players for on-demand movies and music. Contented with the personal entertainment system, she watched the first 15 minutes of just about every movie and bopped up and down to the music selections. By the time we arrived in Detroit 16 hours later, we were spent. Kristina dozed in the chairs outside the gate to our last flight. The 9pm flight to Orlando was virtually empty. With empty rows of seats available to stretch out in, we opted to stay put and lean on each other as we drifted in and out of sleep.

A few minutes after midnight, we made our way onto the trams at the Orlando International Airport knowing Robert and the children would be waiting at the other end. Seeing them waiting in the empty concourse with Hannah's homemade "Welcome Home, Kristina" sign made the emotions of the last few weeks wash over. I wept ungracefully as we walked towards them. Kristina watched me out of the corner of her eye and said sympathetically, "Don't, mama." It wasn't until I could hug my kids and husband that I felt I could say, "Its done. We're home." Hannah and Kristina immediately linked hands and we made our way to the parking garage.

Exhausted in every aspect, I longed to crawl into my own bed. At the house, Kristina scooped up the cats and picked up where she had left off. She ooh'ed at her and Hannah's made over room as I urged everyone into their beds. We slept long into the morning, missing church but recharging from the previous day's fatigue. Sunday was spent unpacking suitcases, grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, and playing with summer friends. As soon as lunch was done, the kids headed out into the warm December day on their bikes. Kristina hoped on, pushed off, and went soaring down the drive. She never missed a beat! She was so proud that she remembered how to ride. "Hurry! Where's the camera? You should be photographing this!" Robert urged as he watched her. I knew I should, but I just wanted to be. The remainder of Sunday was spent with endless doorbell ringing from neighborhood kids who heard Kristina was home. Perhaps most significant, was Katerina's visit. This precious little girl from around the corner was adopted from Russia when she was just a toddler. She had been over the previous day to help Hannah with the welcome home sign and had anxiously waited for the chance to come by. The sounds of continual girl giggling floated down the hall for the rest of the day.

We set out for the Health Department on Monday morning to get Kristina's school physical and immunization record verified. Hours passed as we lingered in the crowded waiting room to be seen. She has born this type of waiting for weeks, and was anxious to be done with it. When we were finally called back, the attending nurse and doctor looked at the translated shot record and asked where she was from. I told them we had just returned from Ukraine on Saturday. "She's adopted?" the doctor asked. I nodded and the nurse shouted, "Praise the Lord! You know, Jesus is pleased with that!" I laughed out loud at her unabashed display of praise. Another nurse came in and began asking questions for her brother and his wife who are considering international adoption. I scrawled a few websites and my email on a pad and encouraged her to have them contact me if I could help in any way.

Today we spent several hours at the Social Security office applying for a number. Once a child reaches the age of 12, they must apply in person. I didn't want to take her out of school and have to take a day off of work to accomplish this, so we decided to take care of it today. Afterwards we took her to school and got her registered. Nervous excitement kept her at Robert's side as I completed yet more forms. Tomorrow will be a whole new adventure for her. Mrs "Cupcake" (as the children call her) had already arranged for Kristina to have a place reserved in Hannah's class. I'll let you know how things go.

I sent the kids to bed an hour ago, but I noticed a dim glow coming from under the doors in the girls' room a few moments ago. I investigated to find them painting each other's nails by nightlight. I gave my sternest warning and they guiltily crawled back into their beds, flapping their hands to make the polish dry. It looks like tomorrow will be a busy day. I'll post photos and video of our journey home in the next few days. Thanks for hanging in there with us!

Last Day in Ukraine

2007-12-07T11:21:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I'm able to write that as our post title for today. Kristina sits to my left at a computer in the business center of our hotel, happily typing away and Google searching High School Musical. It has been a productive day and I am ready for tomorrow.

We wandered around Independence Square a little after our time on the computer yesterday and eventually made it back to our hotel to clean up for the night. Kristina flipped channels on the television and laughed at what appeared to be the Russian version of Married with Children. I was just glad to have a bed that didn't move. Exhausted from all the walking, I managed to get Kristina asleep by 10pm. Our routine over the last few weeks can hardly be called routine. Its been very difficult to establish a schedule and I know I'm going to have to be firm about bedtimes, snacks, school, and privileges when we get home. But for now, we are just existing trying to get though each day and pushing on to the close of this process. I've been very firm with her during my time here. I didn't want there to be Ukrainian Mama and American Mama. She hasn't always liked it, but overall she's been compliant.

This morning we awoke and went down to the continental breakfast in the hotel. With a 2pm Embassy appointment, I doubted we would have time for lunch, so I encouraged her to eat up. Aleksi met us with our bags to check out of Hotel Rus and we headed for the Embassy. In the Adoption room, we ran into the woman from yesterday with her 10 year daughter Larisa. She too was there to pick up her daughter's visa. I gave the medical forms and our passports to the woman behind the glass and sat down to wait. A few minutes later, the consulate (Michael) called us down to a glass window partitioned for privacy and went over a few things. He just reminded us about post-placement reports and explained about the papers he would be handing over to us. He let me ask him a few questions that were going through my mind and set me at ease about what to expect leaving Ukraine and entering the US. When we go through passport control at the Kiev airport, I will just need to show the official the court degree about the adoption and our passports. When we land in the US, Kristina will be a US citizen, so I can take her through the US Citizens line at immigration in the Minneapolis airport. That's where I will hand over the sealed manilla envelope (that I was warned NOT to open!) with all of the adoption and immigration information for Homeland Security. Also, he said that even though there's a box on the forms from yesterday that I checked indicating I wanted to apply for Kristina's social security number, chances are the Social Security office would never receive that request from Homeland Security. So I needed to go ahead and apply once I got back to the States. Sorry, I know that's a bunch of technical garble, but its the kind of stuff I wanted to know as an adoptive parent. The people at the US Embassy are genuinely kind and understand that you've been through a lot to get to that point. Michael indicated that Kristina's visa needed to be typed up and we could go. We returned to the small waiting room where Kristina and Larisa chatted and whispered in Russian, giggling at the fact that none of us knew what they were saying. A new couple had come in and began their paperwork. They looked completely spent and a little confused by the forms. We answered their questions and they shared their struggle over the last few weeks. They had come for a small child, under two, and had been shown a handful of files of children who had serious medical problems. Many who, even with proper medical intervention, would be invalids their whole lives. They took a gamble and decided to visit a little boy with the least severe prognosis. They were blessed to find a beautiful three year old boy who had been misdiagnosed at birth. Other than being small for his age, he was perfectly fine. They had called in a genetic doctor and another specialist to confirm this. But after three weeks of dealing with sliding envelopes, they were ready to head home during the waiting period. Every story I hear confirms what I already know; adoption is a difficult and costly journey.

The visa was ready in 20 minutes and we walked out with Larisa and her mom, confirming that we would see each other at the airport in the morning. Our flight leaves at 11:55, theirs at 12:30. (Melissa & Steve, it looks like we'll be passing in the air!) Aleksi took us to our new hotel and we dropped our bags and went out to find dinner. We're on the opposite side of the city and totally disoriented. We walked up the main drag for about 3 miles and weren't able to find anything to eat. Defeated, we headed back to the hotel. Down one of the side streets a red, white, and green sign caught my eye. "Pizza!" I exclained a little too loudly. We huffed our way in the opposite direction and found a quaint little Italian cafe where we scarfed down a pizza, desserts, and drinks for $9. We're back at the hotel now and I think we've gone over the one hour limit I told the girl at the desk. So I better wrap this up.

Please remember to pray for those on their way this week or who are here in Ukraine right now trying to make their way home with their children: Nataliya, Tami, Steve and Melissa, Mark and Courtney, the Stone Family, and the Rae Family. Those are by no means the only ones here, but they're a few of the ones I think of and pray for on this journey.

So . . .tomorrow . . .home . . .Orlando . . .11:18pm . . .thank God.

In Kiev

2007-12-06T07:49:00.000-05:00

Where to even begin? We're in Kiev and are breathing a sigh of relief at that. The journey here came at a great price, but we are trusting God to work all of that out. I found an internet cafe just off of Independence Square and paid for time on two computers, one for me and one for Kristina. :)

I don't know that I can backtrack to cover the last few days with great comprehension right now, so perhaps I'll save that for later after I've digested everything. Let's start from the train. Yes, that magical form of transportation that brought me to Odessa to start with. Kristina was excited (a little too excited) about traveling to Kiev on the overnight train. We boarded at 10:45pm for the 11:08 departure. She explored our little compartment thouroughly, climbing into the top bunks, making up the beds, checking out the bathroom (which was worse that the last one! Oh, I have pictures, people!). As the train crept from the station, she threw kisses out the window.
"Odessa is very good, Mama."
"Yes, it is a good city," I agreed.
"This is my city and it is good," she declared staring at the passing landscape as we slid away from the place that has been the only home she's ever known.

It was late and I was exhausted from the pressure of the preceeding days. I laid down on my bunk and read a few chapters in my book to try and wind down. Eventually (at 1:30am) I persuaded Kristina to turn off the lights and get some sleep. My first experience with sleeping on the train left a lot to be desired, but I didn't care this time. I knew every incomprehensible jerk, dip, and sway were inching me towards home, towards my family. In the inky darkness my eyes felt heavy and I drifted to sleep.

"Mama? Do you know DaVinci Code movie?"
"Uh, huh," I murmurred.
"Mama? You see this movie?"
"No, but I've heard of it."
"You know this actress Audrey Tatou? She is good woman."
"Mmm, huh."
"Mama? She is good woman. She is not like Brittney Spears."
I opened my eyes to the velvet black that covered the compartment, "Kristina?"
"Yes?"
"Go to sleep, sweetheart."

"Mama! Look! Snow!" I sat up, bleary eyed in the dawning light and tried to make out the passing shapes outside our window. "What time is it?" I asked. "Seven o'clock! Time to get up!" "Kristina, the train doesn't get to the station until 8:30!" Awake and irritated, I stared out the window with her. A tire swing hung over a river covered in thin ice. A man crunched his way through a frozen field towards the tracks. The countryside outside of Kiev was very much awake. Our train arrived promptly at 8:30 and Aleksi had bounded up the steps of the car before we could pile our luggage into the hall. "Landrum family?" he asked. Kristina confirmed and we hauled luggage down onto the platform and heading for his car. We went straight to the US Embassy and I felt a great sense of relief at seeing our country's crest and seal resting on the glass door. Facilitators aren't allowed to accompany families into the Embassy, so Kristina and I went though a very thourough security point and then on to window 14: Adoptions. The room held about 12 chairs, 8 of which were filled. The woman behind the glass took our documents, confirmed that my husband had been to Ukraine and met Kristina at some point, checked his notarized paperwork consenting to the adoption in his absence, and handed me two more forms to fill out.

Now, the forms aren't difficult, but if you fill them out incorrectly you have to redo them. You guessed it. I was working on my second set of forms (ones that didn't indicate Kristina had four children, their birthdates, and place of birth) when a woman sitting to my left whispered, "What do we put on line 34?" "You did it wrong too?" I asked. "Yup, second go around. If they knew how brain dead Americans are by the time they get to this point, they wouldn't ask us to do this, " she smiled back. She introduced us to the 10 year old girl she had adopted and we walked throuh the rest of the forms together. She too was solo on her second trip to Ukraine. The woman sitting to her left had just had court and was returning to the States for the waiting period. She and her husband had just adopted a 6 year old boy, even though their two children at home are 18 and 21!

A trip to window 4 to pay the $380 Embassy fees and we were sent off for medicals and told to return tommorow afternoon to meet with the consulate and get the visa. The medical facility is some miles away. It seems adoptions are given preference and we were escorted from one room to another. Kristina ended up needing one more MMR vaccine, which she took without complaint. An hour later ($75 for exam and 152 grivna for vaccination) and we were done. The doctor provided me with an English form with her vaccination record and the papers to bring to the Embassy tomorrow.

We headed to our hotel and checked in. Unfortunetely, they messed up our reservation and could only accomodate us for tonight. Our facilitator was livid at the inconvience, but I really didn't care. I can see Saturday. I can almost reach out and touch the day and time that will find us boarding a plane and heading home. We deposited our things in the room and headed downtown in search of lunch and internet. We found both and I have paid $2 for Kristina to be temporarily distracted enough to let me think though today's events. Well, somewhat distracted. I just got an email from her. "Mama? What are you doing? I am on the computer writing to you. I love you!" I guess I could have saved my two dollars.

Thank you for your prayers in the last few weeks (and for some of you many months!). Your prayers have been flickering light along a dark path that God has called us to tread. Thank you for your faithfulness and love towards people you don't know. Continue to pray for my little family back home, without which none of this would have been possible; and remember us in our last days here in Ukraine.

Update From Robert

2007-12-04T17:51:00.000-05:00

This will be a bit dry compared to what you have been reading.
Leslie is still stuck in Odessa (her word). They are still waiting on the passport. They have been without internet for two days now. She asks for continued prayer for a speedy process.
I hope there is no serious problem with the passport. But there may be. The facilitator left to go to Kiev understanding all was taken care of. She is now on the overnight train heading back to Odessa.
Leslie is the strongest, most loving, and good woman that I know. To say she is a living saint would do no injustice to the concept! I miss her. The kids miss her.
She has been relentless in accomplishing this mission. I don't want her to loose heart. So continue to pray for her and support her with your blog comments which are a great encouragement.
Robert N. Landrum

Orphans of God

2007-12-02T14:46:00.000-05:00

Loved this reminder Tami posted today. Orphan ministry is no more optional than feeding the hungry, caring for the widow, or sheltering the homeless. It is what we have all been called to as the redeemed adopted children of God. How will you serve?

MIA

2007-12-02T05:31:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the brief disappearing act. Well, we're still in Odessa. The passport wasn't ready on Friday, so we will hope and pray for Monday. We moved from our apartment in with Lisa and Michelle, missionaries here in Odessa. To say that the change has been beneficial would be an understatment. While we had everything we needed in our little apartment, we were sorely missing fellowship. Staring at the walls was making me more homesick; so I jumped at Michelle's generous offer.

We brought our things over in the morning and then headed to the orphanage. Kristina wanted to spend a little more time with her groupa and I wanted to see the children as well. We spent the bulk of the day doing craft with Michelle in class 6 and playing games with the children from Kristina's class. Back at the apartment, we made homemade pizza and Apple Crisp for dinner. It was good to just sit and visit.

We don't have much planned today, just a quick trip to the market and maybe one of Michelle's movies (in English!). If we get word tomorrow that the passport is ready, we'll take the night train into Kiev and then should fly home on Thursday or Friday. Please continue to pray for us as we are terribly homesick and trying to patiently wait on God's timing.

One Step Closer

2007-11-29T16:46:00.000-05:00

"Watch where I go," she said over her shoulder already three strides ahead of us. We galloped after our facilitator like ponies, trying not to giggle at our inability to keep up with her pace. It was her way of saying, "I'm going ahead. If you can't keep up, watch which doorway I turn into so you can find me when you get there." Our time frame was tight as we dashed blocks to the passport office, hoping to get there before the doors closed for the evening. Kristina and I held hands in the little sprint across town, our chests aching from breathing the cold night air so deeply. We saw Natasha duck into a doorway that quickly darkened as the door closed behind her and followed closely for fear of losing her. When we passed through the door, the walls were lined with people who had been there for hours waiting for paperwork to be processed. Natasha signaled to me to come into a room with her. I stood a pace behind her quietly and obediently waiting to sign another document or form that promised to get us one step closer to home. She sighed heavily and said, "That is all for tonight. We are done." It had been an exhausting day that had started in the birth certificate office with the little girl in red and ended here. We returned to our apartment believing we were done for the day and had just finished the last blog post when our facilitator called us back to the paper chase for the rest of the afternoon.

This morning we trotted behind our facilitator with the much coveted birth certificate from yesterday (the one we spent hours waiting on) to the Tax ID office. We presented the birth certificate to the clerk only to have her turn it over and over in her hands and return it to a bewildered Natasha. The clerk then started a long monologue in which I heard the word "nyet" as I watched my facilitator's color rise in her cheeks. I followed her back into the hallway to learn the clerk at the birth certificate office had placed the wrong stamp on the document. It would have to be completely redone. Thus is the process in Ukraine.

Natasha mumbled in frustrated Russian as she dialed a taxi and I was thankful for the language barrier. I didn't envy the woman at the birth certificate office that would have to deal with our Natasha. I swear I could never do this job. Natasha is a determined woman of steel. If it can be done, she'll figure out a way to do it. Back at the birth certificate office, Natasha had a polite conversation with the woman who had done our forms yesterday and within 30 minutes we had the correct document in hand. She is amazing. Back to the Tax ID office and then off to copy, notarize, scan, and email documents before she sent us off for lunch after 2. She headed in the opposite direction with another office to visit for more paperwork. She was still going after 6pm tonight. Kristina and I strolled down to the waterfront tonight. The lamplights washed the Opera House in gold and gilded the cobblestone walkway. The promenade was draped in strings of brilliant jeweled colors. The cold eventually got the best of us and we headed off in search of hot chocolate.

We should know tomorrow afternoon if we are leaving for Kiev on the night train or if we are spending the weekend in Odessa. Courtney, I am having problems posting comments on many of the blogs I read so count us in for dinner next week if we're still in Kiev. My cell number here in Ukraine is 80987320547.

I am taking comfort in the thought that perhaps next weekend we will all be squeezed into the same pew at St Paul's enjoying worship together as a family, sitting at the table to share Robert's breakfast cooking, or watching Kristina attempt to remember how to ride that bike. In the grand scheme of things, a week isn't a long time, but we'd rather it be sooner than later.

Another Day in Odessa

2007-11-28T08:42:00.000-05:00

"Mama, how do you spell 'wonderful'?" Kristina asked head bowed over the keyboard as the slow click of the keys indicated her typing abilities. She labored to write a few sentences in an email to Sarah and Mandy, girls from a Phoenix Christian high school who have come to Odessa to minister to the orphans over the last few years. Their parting letters were spread before her on the desk, the bubbly colored script promising their prayers until they reunite next summer. I set up an email account for her last night so that her caregivers here can communicate with her when she leaves Ukraine. Remembering Sarah and Mandy's kindness towards her on their mission trip to the orphanage, she wanted to share God's new chapter for her life.

We spent the bulk of yesterday in cold hallways staring at closed doors. It was tedious, tiring paper chasing that had to be accomplished in order for us to leave this place. Not one complaint from Kristina though. For hours, she shifted in her chair, flipped through a magazine I had stashed in my purse, and chatted with a curious little girl in the same predicament. In the monotony of the waiting room, I found amusement watching the beautiful imp of a child peek in from the hall at all of us. Over and over she returned to the doorway to glimpse at Kristina, the only other child in the area. Her red hat was pulled down close to bright eyes and the layers under her coat made her look slightly inflated. Eventually she slid along the wall until she stood across from Kristina who smiled at her over the raised magazine. One phrase whispered to her in Russian and the little girl climbed into the vacant chair next to Kristina, both of them staring intently at the pictures, pointing and commenting on the fashion models. I snuck my camera out of my pocket and captured a few minutes of their chatter on video. The interaction was a welcome distraction from a situation that dragged on and on.

As we traveled across town to the next office, Kristina pointed excitedly out the window. Snow flurries, like paperwhites blown by a strong wind, swirled before the windshield. The temperature dipped noticeably as sister Winter has exiled Autumn from her place in Odessa. The wet ground crunched like frozen fudge as we climbed from the taxi in search of the tax ID office. We had greater success here and are out the door in an hour. With the day spent, we returned to the apartment for left over pizza and dessert from last night. Kristina excitedly lays out outfit #2 for tomorrow and I produce a set of thermal underwear that promises to be a necessity.

Our facilitator went to apply for the passport this morning, and text messaged me several hours after the office opened to say she was still waiting to be seen. I am thankful that our presence wasn't necessary for the morning's portion of the paper chase. We decide to walk towards the big square with the Greek Orthodox church to take pictures, but despite the many layers of clothes the blowing wind causes Kristina to shiver and cling to my arm. Already showing signs of a cold, I decided to take her back to the apartment. Kristina has spent the better part of the afternoon clicking away at the computer as we wait for word from our facilitator. If she is successful at applying for the passport today, we should head to Kiev later this weekend. It doesn't look like we will make our exit date of Tuesday December 4th. I'm learning not to bank on dates. It is just too stressful. Instead we focus on God's unwavering control of the situation and His hand on every person and process in this journey. Please continue to pray for us and for my family back home.

Bringing in the Sheaves

2007-11-26T12:44:00.000-05:00

I have my hands full with one more tonight and a slumber party for 2, so I hope you won't mind the brief update. Sleep was a lost commodity last night and doesn't promise to be much better tonight! It was nearly 6am before I was able to drift off and I was awaken at 9 am by a text message from my facilitator this morning. Due to a number of factors, I decided to check Kristina out of the orphanage today. Natasha and I caught the bus from the apartment at a busy time. We claimed the last two seats as the aisle became standing room only for the passengers climbing on after us. We were about to pull out when an old woman squeezed through the closing door. I doubted she could reach the overhead bar to keep herself steady, so I offered her my seat. M.C. Hammer crooned "Can't Touch This" through the bus speaker system as the vehicle lurched into traffic. I stumbled backwards into the gentleman attempting to balance behind me and thought ironically that the song didn't apply to me.

At the orphanage I sat down with the social worker who looked at me and said, "You are ready to go home, yes?" I wondered if it was that obvious. Vladik ran to fetch Kristina eating in the cafeteria. No one anticipated her leaving today and there was a scurry of activity in the playroom. I could tell that Kristina's caregivers weren't prepared for this moment. She grabbed her jacket and hurriedly pulled on her shoes as the two women spoke words of advice to her. I told Kristina to let them know that this wasn't goodbye. We would come back later in the week for a going away party. I tried to keep things upbeat as Natasha indicated that the taxi would be there any minute. Sergi and Greshia offered to pull her suitcases outside. I paused to embrace Seryozha, kissed him on the forehead, and knew I needed to walk away soon. Quick hugs all around and we were out the door. It was the best thing for all of us.

Back at the apartment, I opened the two suitcases to find one empty and the other with a few books and photos. The only clothes she had were the ones on her back. She played on the computer for awhile and we called Robert so she could say hello. She decided on pizza for dinner and we walked through the steady rain down to Pan Pizza. It was difficult for me to keep a straight face as her line of questioning picked up from where we had left off last time. Serious as can be, she asked, "Mama, who is going to teach me to kiss?" I raised my eyebrows and she went on to explain. "What happen when I am at marriage and my husband wants to kiss me? I do not know how. And he will say, "did not your mother teach you?'" I couldn't stop myself from laughing at that one. I assured her that we would cross that bridge when we got to it (and that bridge is far, far away!). We stopped at the store on the way back to buy a toothbrush. Back at the apartment, she asked to shower and I provided her with the pajamas and underwear I brought from the states. She asked if I could wash her clothes so they would be clean for tomorrow. While she was showering I laid out the handful of outfits I brought with me.

Now she is organizing the bathroom and dusting our tiny studio apartment as she explains why she loves High School Musical so much (namely Zach Efron). We brought dessert back with us and will settle down to cheesecake and tiramasu as soon as I can get her to sit still. I am taking Robert's advice and trying to enjoy our time together here in her hometown. I am laughing more today and thankful for this precious child God has brought into our lives.

Hope for One

2007-11-25T11:42:00.000-05:00

"Deri-bas-ov-skaya, Deri-bas-ov-skaya" the bus driver sang softly through his grinning mouth. Seated on the empty bus, I silently thanked God that he had sent me a driver with a sense of humor. Walking back from the orphanage this evening, I managed to catch the bus at its turn around point before the end of its route and saved myself about a quarter mile walk. Seeing that it was already dark and the temperature was dropping quickly, I was grateful for the timing. The last three people indicated their stop was ahead and then I was left alone. The driver looked at me in the rearview mirror and spun off a line in Russian. I thought how strange it is to have no idea what words a person is saying, but still understand exactly what he means. I knew he was asking where I was getting off seeing the end of the route was just ahead. I waved my hand and said, "Far, far," as if he was supposed to understand what "far" meant. I needed to ride the bus to the opposite end of its route. How would I communicate that? I racked my brain as he glanced from the road ahead of him to me in the rearview mirror. What was the name of the famous street near the other end of the route? "Deribaskaya!" I announced with confidence. He laughed at my misproununication of the street name and prounced it correctly for me in song form until the next passenger flagged us down.

The day started late for me. Although tired, I couldn't fall asleep last night. I twisted and turned in the empty king size bed and flipped the channels on the television until the wee hours of the morning. At some point I fell asleep and was later awakened by the church bells ringing in the big square down the street.It was after 11 and I had missed the opportunity to visit the Presbyterian church. I wandered down to the grocery store and got some staples to put in the kitchen, had lunch, and decided to venture out to the orphanage. The light was already beginning to fade at three o'clock when I made my way to the bus stop. Forgetting how early it gets dark, I immedaitely regretted leaving so late in the day. I found an empty seat on the quickly filling bus and hunkered down for the long ride there. People got on and off the bus, the sweet smell of perfume and the stinging smell of alcohol mingling among the riders. Near the end of the route, I indicated "na prava, kopeka" to the driver who obediently steered the bus to the right and dropped me near the little store. Walking the remaining distance to the orphanage, the dreary surroundings of the neighborhood pressed upon me. Passing through the gates, I noticed the orphanage yard was silent and abandoned. The big front doors were locked, so I made my way to the side door that opened easily when I tugged at the handle. The long dark corridor stretched before me and I reflected on the fact that the building's atmosphere would have frightened me as a little girl. A door at the end of the hall burst open and light flooded from the passage as two children chased each other, screaming and laughing. One of the boys recognized me and the "mama alert" was given. Kristina came bounding down the hall, turned back to rebuke one of the boys who had been teasing her, and then came down to meet me in a relieved embrace. I made my way to the room and found several of the boys from her groupa watching television. They leaped from their places and greeted me with hugs. Even through her happy deamenor, I could sense the relief in her tear filled eyes. Later she would confess to me that she had cried only three times while we were gone. Only three.

We chatted about school and the other children. She directed my attention to her suitcase, packed and standing in the corner. When would I take her from the orphanage, she wanted to know. With several days of adoption work still ahead of us, I anticipated leaving her in school through the week. She wanted to go now. I'm rethinking things.

We put our coats on and wandered around the yard toward the dormitory where the children sleep. Kristina asked the woman on duty if she could show me her room and we were permitted up the stairs and through a locked corridor. "Do you get scared here sometimes?" I asked surveying the pitch black hallway. Unlocking the padlock on the girls' bedroom, she shook her head as if that was a silly question. The springs squealed as she plopped down proudly on her bed. I was happy to see that there were warm blankets, but the only thing between her and the metal springs were two thin pallets. Seeing me examine the drooping bed, she said, "It is not like your bed in America, but it doesn't hurt." A small table at the head of the bed held a shoe box with stockings, a prayer book, and the birthday card we sent her in April. Speaking of which, we found out her birthay is actually in October. Its so strange to think a child doesn't even know their own birthday with accuracy.

We walked across the hall to another room that holds the children's clothes. Kristina unlocked the next door and showed me the boys' room which mirrored the girls' room minus the pink accents. With so many boys in her class, each bed had an owner. "All of the boys sleep here?" I asked. She thoughtfully looked back into the hall and went to one more locked door. The strong smell of urine hit me as I stepped into the empty room. The lace curtains swayed in the open window, but the smell was still overpowering. A solitary bed stood against the wall, the pallets on top stained deep yellow. The sheets and blankets laid in a crumpled pile on the floor. Two empty buckets rolled on their side in the breeze and a used diaper rested in the far corner. Kristina indicated that one of the boys had a problem with bed wetting still and he slept alone in this room. As my eyes took in the sadness of the scene, she picked up the sheets and lovingly spread them on the bed. She arranged the blankets and pillow, lined the cans at the foot of the bed, and placed the diaper in a trash bin. "He will be surprised," she observed looking back over her shoulder at the tidied room.

We walked back to the playroom and found the boys engrossed in a war movie. Darkness had already fallen and my conscieous told me I needed to go before it got much later, but I couldn't force myself to move from the couch. Kristina flitted about the room taking pictures of her cubbie and the caregiver's desk. Although the boys hardly noticed our presence I was content to watch the back of their heads. I know part of not taking Kristina now has to do with them. There is really no reason for me to be at the orphanage once I take custody of her. I'm not ready for that yet. I'm not ready to say goodbye.

Kristina walked me as far as the orphanage gates. "I know my name is Hope," she said. "Yes, Robert and I told you that when we were here before. Kristina Hope Landrum," I replied. She stopped walking and looked up at me. "No, I understand." My furrowed brow indicated that I didn't, so she explained. "If I stay here, I have no family, no future, no place. No hope. In America I will have family, a home. I will have hope. Yes?" "Yes," I replied in wonderment at the depth of her understanding. Eventually I willed myself to go and made my way to the bus driver with a sense of humor. Back at the apartment, I called Robert and was rejuvenated by the sound of his voice. Contemplating what my options were for the rest of the evening, I laid down at the foot of the bed and wrapped the warm comforter around me. I woke up an hour later at 9:00 to my worried facilitator's phone call. I had forgotten to check in and she had grown concerned. Hungry and awake, I strolled down Deribasovskaya Street not sure where I was going or what I would do. In the cold darkness babushka's sat before small folding tables with bags of sunflower seeds and cut flowers for sale. A group of small boys skirted past me, their lit cigarettes glowing orange in their wake. In previous posts I have reflected on the abundant beauty of this city. Indeed it is beautiful, but I am not unaware of the despair that lies just below the surface for so many of its residents. The ailing elderly women begging for coins on the corner and the over 3000 homeless children in this city alone cannot be drowned out by the show of beauty. I have gotten to know one of these children during my time here and am shaken to my core by his struggle. I brushed away the tears gathering in the corners of my eyes and made my way back to the warmth and safety of my little apartment. Its just after midnight here and I think will call home to speak with my family. Thank God I have that, a family and a hope.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
-Psalm 42:11

Back Again

2007-11-24T16:23:00.000-05:00

Its just before midnight here in Odessa and after 4 long flights, I'm back in the apartment I started in nearly a month ago. The flights were fairly uneventful. I flew NWA back to Ukraine thanks to my aunt and uncle, and let me tell you what a difference it was compared to the economy Ukrainian airline Robert and I flew a few weeks ago! I felt guilty sitting in my roomy exit row seat with on demand movies and games on my own personal tv screen. As you know, Robert hates flying and our last trip didn't do anything to dispel those feelings. This time around the food was much better, there was much more space, and much better service. I sat next to a business man who sketched strategy flow charts and listened to his iPod throughout the flight. We flew over an ocean of clouds washed pale blue in the light of a full moon. There was no turbulence and no delays. The only really tiring portion of the day was the 7 hour layover I had in Kiev awaiting my connecting flight to Odessa. Those of you who have been in the Kiev airport know how much there is to do there. I finished a 600 page novel and read part of a magazine. I'm kicking myself for not bringing more books. Its been snowing in Kiev. The sky blended into the horizon in a dirty white haze. The snow drifts were pushed into small gray hills along the walkways and paths. The stark winter weather really sets a tone in a city that sported bright blue skies just a few weeks ago.

Coming back by myself to bring Kristina home was always part of the plan, but I feel Robert's absence strongly. Each day of a Ukrainian adoption promises the unexpected. There has already been one snag that we will have to work out that will set us back 2 days. Though there's nothing I or my facilitation team can do about it, little things like that can get to you. I am praying for a quick trip, but also praying that I don't focus on the timeline. God has planned each step of this last leg of the journey. It is our place to follow Him faithfully.

I'm excited to go to the orphanage tomorrow and spend time with Kristina and the other children. I have missed them terribly. I'll post again soon, hopefully with some pics.

On My Way

2007-11-22T20:55:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I will be heading back to Ukraine to claim my daughter and bring her home. We are glad that we chose to break the adoption into two trips. The two weeks since we left Ukraine have both flown by and dragged along. We are as prepared as we can be at this point. I managed to pack all my things in one carry-on this time (see, Kim, I can do it!). Traveling lighter will definitely make things easier. I need to stop by the store to get a few things in the morning, so I hope I don't get stuck in the Black Friday rush.

I'm thankful that I could spend the holiday with my family before flying out. Enjoying their turkey feast, the kids reflected that perhaps Kristina would enjoy Thanksgiving next year. I have no doubt she will. Please pray for traveling safety and for me and for grace and peace for my family that will stay behind. Pray that the last hurdles can be crossed quickly and that we can be back as soon as possible. Thank you for walking with us on this journey!

Best of Both Worlds

2007-11-20T09:36:00.000-05:00

Did you know that 12 year old girls can scream at a decibel level that shatters glass? At least that's what it sounded like last night. We had a wonderful time at the concert. The Jonas Bros opened up to a packed arena. Then Hannah Montana performed half the show and Miley Cyrus performed the other half. Great show, even if you're not 12. I appreciate that Miley is open with her Christian faith and is unashamed to share that fact. Everything about the show was tasteful and appropriate. She talks about her relationship with God and the importance of the Bible in the tour program.

Hannah had a wonderful time singing at the top of her lungs and bouncing up and down with the rest of the crowd (okay, I did too at times). We had great seats in the upper level, front row with an unblocked view of everything, surrounded by other mother daughter duos sharing the same together time. I think the concert would have blown Kristina's mind. Hopefully it will be the three of us for the next Pop Princess show.

Rock Star

2007-11-17T21:08:00.000-05:00

Outnumbered two to one, Hannah and I have always felt the overpowering presence of boys in our house. Its enough to make the two of us wander the aisles of Target some days just to escape the testosterone. Over the years we've come to enjoy our "Mom and Me" time.

When Kristina spent the summer with us last year, Hannah had to learn to share me. She was incredibly gracious, but I could sense that she craved the one on one time we once shared. I will be leaving next weekend and bringing home her new sister. She's thrilled that Kristina is finally coming home. I've been trying to set aside some precious time for me and Hannah before I leave. Precious time . . . yes, but quiet time . . . no. Today I scored 2 tickets to the sold out Best of Both Worlds Hannah Montana concert. You should have seen her reaction! Rock on!

Sophia's Gift

2007-11-15T18:30:00.000-05:00

Hi, everyone! Thank you for continuing to email and check in with us. I recovered quickly and am back to normal now (normal is a relative term). It looks like I will be flying back to Ukraine next weekend. I am missing Kristina terribly and am ready to bring her home. We've been filling the time with decorating for the holiday and getting the girls' room in order. Hannah and I found a giant K and H at the craft store and we spent yesterday painting them to hang over their beds. I'm printing pics of Kristina with her friends in Ukraine to put in frames in her room. Its important for her to have something familiar around. Add a few Hannah Montana and High School Musical posters, and we're almost done. One of the girls I went to high school with sent us a gift that covered Kristina's bed, the entire thing: frame, mattress, headboard, and bedspread! Thanks, Vicki!!! I'll post a pic of everything soon.

I've gotten quite a few emails recently that touch on the same subject. I'd like to put my two cents in and hope that no one takes offense at my opinion on the matter. I keep a photo as a bookmark in whatever book I happen to be reading. The photo is of a little girl named Sophia. She was an 8 year old orphan in an orphanage in Russia. Several years ago, when Robert and I began to discuss adoption and asked our own children to pray with us, I came across Sophia's picture through my contact with an agency. The photo immediately grabbed me and I could see this little girl as part of our family. Sophia was the embodiment of what I believed adoption would look like for us. I pushed forward researching the adoption process and agencies. We prayed for Sophia by name and asked God to direct our paths. Several months later, we received an email indicating that a family had received a referral for Sophia and that they were going to move forward with the adoption. I wasn't crushed, just surprised. I wondered why God had allowed me to care for this little girl and see this child as part of our future. I would later come to see that Sophia would very much be part of our future.

Prior to learning about Sophia, we had decided that we would pursue a small child, preferably between 4-6 years old. Sophia was 8, older but close in age to our youngest. I liked that age; I felt like I would know what to expect.

Over a year passed and we didn't make any tangible steps forward with adoption. We continued to pray and ask God what He wanted us to do. Where did we even start? We knew that we would adopt, but where, when, and how were very blurry details. We explored hosting programs and talked about the possibility of having an orphan spend the holiday with us. It would give us a good idea of the dynamics of adding another child to our household and a chance to get to know a child one on one. Of all the hosting programs we looked at, none fit our schedule or budget. One of those programs, Frontier Horizon, invited me to travel with them and meet not one but many children. God was prodding me to go. I needed to see these children, their living conditions, and their future. In the spring of 2006, I took a leap of faith and traveled to Odessa. I never traveled with the anticipation of finding a child.

Odessa has many orphanages, divided largely by age group. I believed I would naturally be drawn to Orphanage #9, which houses very young children. Indeed I visited and spent time among a field of beautiful children who called me Mama and sat in my lap. It was blissful. As the week passed, I was given the choice of which orphanage to visit and strangely I found myself gravitating back to #4 and #5 with the older children. God placed Kristina in my path over and over again. I felt an unexplainable connection with her. At one point I made my way to an Internet cafe to tearfully call home and tell my husband what was happening. I needed him to remind me that she was an older child with lots of baggage, set in her ways and a host of unseen problems. Fortunately, he didn't say any of that.

Never, never, never would I have said, "I want to adopt an older child". We wanted a little girl who would fit in the birth order of our family. We wanted a small child who was still "trainable"; a child who would fall in line with our ways; a child who could sit in my lap and snuggle. But that was before I met the older children. Robert's first time in the orphanage, he made an observation that I saw over a year and a half ago. "If people could just see these kids! If they could meet them and see how beautiful and perfect they are." I have received a number of emails from those of you who have looked into the faces of the kids in Kristina's orphanage and seen the same thing. Some of you have even been moved to pray about the possibility of adopting an older child. And that is exactly what I would advise you to do. Pursue God and seek His plan for your family. Yes, there are unique challenges that come with adopting an older child. But there are challenges unique to every child, young or old, biological or adopted.

We have been moved to pray about adoption once again. There are two children in Kristina's class that we have grown attached to during our time together. When someone asks me about my children one day, will I say "I have two 13 year olds, three 12 year old, an 11 year old, and a ten year old"? It sounds crazy, but we are open to God's will for our family. We have chosen to pursue God rather than a particular child though. The last year has been difficult for us and for Kristina. We have known all along that, while it was unlikely, another family could be given a referral for Kristina. In fact, that happened just last month to one of our blog friends. Our desire is that these children would have Christian families. We will seek God and trust that His will is perfect, whether that adds two more children or no more children to our brood. Perhaps God will open other hearts to the very real possibility of adding an older child to their families as well.

Sick and Tired

2007-11-10T20:31:00.000-05:00

I awoke off and on all night, scared that we would oversleep and miss our flight. When we finally got up, the temperature was noticeably lower and it was raining. I had packed the apartment the night before so there wasn't much to do but wait for the taxi. When he arrived, we loaded our luggage and took our last video game car ride through town toward the airport. Robert and I have joked that riding in taxis is a lot like being in one of those racing video games with no control of the joystick. We arrived at the airport and were told a different fee for the trip than we had been quoted the night before. We called our source and learned that luggage is extra. Would have been good to know that.

We made our way into the cold, vacant terminal and found seats off to one side. I went upstairs to the Aerosvit counter and got our paper tickets for the international leg of our flights. With taxes, our trip from Odessa (connecting in Kiev) into JFK in New York was only $550 with taxes per person. We were able to purchase the tickets straight from the Aerosvit website. The price of tickets doesn't waver much even with only 24hrs notice. I was glad we had purchased one way tickets as I didn't feel pressure to fly out on a particular day. We had nearly two hours before our flight left, so we read, chatted, and watched a stray dog that wandered in and out of the terminal. Only in Odessa. Eventually the international departure doors opened and we headed through the line. We put our bags through the scanners, went through security, and were assigned our seats. When it was time to board, we walked out onto the tarmac and climbed steps into a small plane. Robert, already nervous about flying, was not thrilled about the smaller plane that would take us to the Borispol Airport in Kiev. He didn't like that the rivets were visible in the ceiling of the plane. He didn't like that he could smell jet fuel as he boarded.

Our flight into Kiev went quickly and we gathered our bags to transfer them to the next flight. We entered the terminal and I waited with the baggage as Robert walked the perimeter looking for something to eat. In the sea of fellow travelers, a beautiful African American woman stood out to me. We have seen very few African Americans during our time in Ukraine, so she caught my eye immediately. I scanned the terminal trying to locate Robert and when I turned back around the woman was standing before me. "English?" she asked with shoulders shrugged. "Is it that apparent?" I asked her in return. Two strangers with only our homeland in common, we stood and chatted about what we were doing so far from home. She is an international basketball player headed to Mauripol for an exhibition game. We shared we had been in country to complete an adoption, but were going home. "Wait, You're headed back to the states?" she asked. When I confirmed, she let us know we were in the wrong terminal. We had no clue there is more than one terminal in Kiev. We were in terminal A and needed to be in terminal B. I was sure she must be an angel. We grabbed our luggage and rushed off to the international terminal.

Changing terminals meant we had to venture outside. Melted snow remained in the crevices of the concrete sidewalk. I made a mental note to pack warmer clothes for my return trip. We weaved through taxi drivers offering their services and entered terminal B. There in the entry way was Jeri! We thought she and Vitalik had already left the country. Unfortunately, her travel agent had requested the wrong departure date and their tickets were not valid until the next day. I felt terrible for her! She had been in Ukraine alone without her husband for weeks and was longing to return home to their children. She pointed us to where we needed to go (far end of the terminal to the right) and we headed off again. I wasn't sure which line we should be in; the red customs line (something to declare), the green customs line (nothing to declare), or the departure line. We took a chance and got in the departure line and went right through. On the other side we checked in at the Aerosvit counter and redeposited our luggage. The flight was already loading, so we rushed to our gate on the next floor. We stood in the line forever. Forty five minutes past take off time, we were still standing in the security line at our gate. I was glad that I had booked our connecting flight in New York three hours after our estimated arrival time. The flight was long and cramped. Aerosvit is definitely a budget airline, but it was a necessity for us. We tried to sleep off and on to limit jet lag, but we were so thankful when the flight was over.

We arrived at JFK an hour later than anticipated and then went through immigration and customs. At baggage claim, we waited for nearly an hour for the luggage to be delivered. Reburdened with our suitcases, we figured out that we were once again in the wrong terminal. We located the JetBlue check in counter in the next terminal and retrieved our tickets for the last leg of our journey with just enough time to board. We quickly called home to let family know we were back on American soil and to make arrangement to be picked up in Orlando.

It suddenly struck us that we were back among the familiar. The sounds and smells flooded our senses and we realized how sensory deprived we have felt in the last few weeks. The sounds of extended English conversations, the ability to read signs, the smell of familiar food coming from kiosks in the terminal oddly comforted us. I made a mental note of this. We would need to be particularly sensitive to Kristina as she experiences the absence of language, familiar sights, and smells in a few weeks.

I was so happy to see my dad when we landed in Orlando. Torn between telling him everything and sleeping, I nodded off between snippets of conversation on the drive home. The children had fallen asleep by the time we got in, but we found our home in good order thanks to my mom. The cats buzzed around Robert's feet and purred unashamedly at his attention. He actually bought cat food in Ukraine and keep small portions in a ziplock bag in his pocket to feed the many strays that crossed our path in Odessa.

This entire trip wouldn't have been possible without my parents sacrificial care of our kids in our absence. We're so grateful that we had peace of mind knowing they were in good hands. We learned friends had stepped in as well, taking Hannah for a manicure (thanks, K) and the boys swimming at their house (thanks, J). And my Uncle Keith and his family are already helping us with arrangements for my return trip. So many people made this possible; thank you to everyone.

We fell into bed near midnight (ah, the comfort of my own bed!) and rose early the next morning to get the kids off to school and head for work. Early Friday morning, it was apparent that our systems weren't going to allow us to bounce back into our regular routine. Jet lag sapped our energy the following days and I came down with a bug last night. I am so thankful to have been home when it hit though! I'm trying to take it easy and ease back into our routine, but I've been confined to bed most of today. I promise to get to my email this weekend and reply to all of you who have written in the last few days. Hopefully I will be well enough to attend church tomorrow.

We're so excited to follow the journeys of friends who have just arrived in Ukraine. We are praying for all of you! I will be traveling back to get Kristina in about two weeks. Pray for me as I make preparations and pray for Kristina's transition.

Last Day in Odessa

2007-11-07T13:41:00.000-05:00

Today was a mellow day here in Odessa. Temperatures continue to drop and the rain set in. I made it to the internot early this morning to check Kristina out. She literally jumped into my arms when I showed up. After changing out of her school uniform, we walked the looonnnnnggg distance to the bus stop and made our way into the center of the city. We took care of some offical things like passport photos on Deribasovskaya Street. We found a little passport studio off of one of the side alleys. The place was no larger than 6x10. I pointed to the passport picture on the wall and indicated I need Kristina's photo done. He turned to Kristina and indicated in broken English that she should sit in the chair. She did as she was told as he continued to give her instructions like "move your chin up, push your hair back" in broken English. She said to him, "I speak Russian too!" At which point he looked surprsed and she was tickled. She thought it was great that the guy thought she was my daughter (well, you know what I mean) and only spoke English like me.

She decided she wanted pizza for lunch so we make the trek down to Pan Pizza (yes, Pam, it is the best in town!). She was full of questions the whole way. Can I see High School Musical movie when we go to house? Will I get married and have children one day? Can I play soccer in America? Sara, I asked her if she was nervous about coming to America and she said not at all. She's been waiting a whole year! I truely think she is ready for this transition. We will have our bumps along the way, but she is ready to come home.

After lunch we went back to the apartment and she played on the computer for awhile before we went back to the internot. I spent about two hours with the children. I know I'll be back in a few weeks, but I will miss them terribly in the meantime. At one point, I had four boys snuggled in next to me on the couch holding my hands. There are so many wonderful boys at this orphanage. It is my prayer that more families will be moved to adopt older children. What a blessing they are! We batted around a balloon and snapped photos until it was time for the children to go to their study period. Kristina got a little sad, but I reminded her that the sooner I leave, the sooner I can come back for her. I am relieved to be returning home for a short while. I need to time and environment to recharge before finishing this journey. Pray for traveling grace for us tomorrow. We'll post again when we get home.

Its a Girl!

2007-11-06T07:44:00.000-05:00

Well, Robert says, "Its a bouncing, hyperactive, extremely talkative girl!" She is officially ours! No chance of giving of her back. A year and a half labor, but no epidural necessary.

I'll admit I was terribly nervous about court this morning. I actually scanned the archieves of our friends' blogs to see what this judge would be like. No one else seemed at all troubled by the hearing. Natasha prepped us on what to expect and who would be there.

We arrived early and waited for Kristina, Dina the orphanage social worker, Alyona the translator, and a representative from the inspector's office to arrive. Kristina was all smiles and bouncy this morning, not a nervous bone in her body. We made our way to the second floor and waited on benches in the hall until we were called for. After about 15 minutes we were shown into the chambers. The room was about 20x20; there was a long table at the front of the room where the judge sat with a person on either side of him. A secretary sat at a computer in the corner. At the back of the room were two more tables and chairs where we were directed to sit. Kristina slid in next to me and took my hand under the table. The judge asked first Robert and then me to stand and give our full name, date of birth, and legal residence. He then directed a number of questions to Robert: What do you do? How do you know this child? Do you own or rent your home? Do you have any children? Why do you want to adopt this child? Do you have room for another child in your home? What do you see for her future and education?

He then asked me to stand and asked: What is your training (what do you do)? Tell me about the four children you have. How will you help Kristina to learn English and adjust to living in your home? I told him she already fit in quite nicely and that she was extremely bright. We have been providing her with Englsih lessons for almost a year and she is incredibly fluent. We know her teachers in America and they are all very anxious and happy for her to start school. Education has always been inportant to me and Robert and we will make sure she has all of the opportunities our other chldren have. He then asked Kristina to stand and asked her: Do you know these people? Do you want to be adopted? Why by them? Do you understand that you will go to live in America? It will not be easy and you will have to work hard. She answered confidently to each question and smiled at the judge until he was smiling back at her. He asked the social worker and inspector's office representative if there were any objections and there were none. He declared that Kristina Tarkanovskaya would be legally Kristina Hope Landrum and the adoption petition would be granted with the standard 10 day waiting period. I think the entire process took about 10 minutes. The judge congratualted us and wished us good health and a happy family. At that point Kristina grabbed the photo album we had brought along and skipped right up to the bench to show the judge her family. He was kind enough to take a few moments and flip through the pages as she pointed out people and places before he excused himself for his next meeting. That was it!

Since it is a school day, we returned Kristina to the orphanage for classes and made arrangements to check her out for the entire day tomorrow. We'll spend our last day together as a family in Odessa. Natasha, Robert and I went to lunch and celebrated. I feel like I can exhale now that court is done. God has been faithful to walk with us through this process and you have been gracious enough to pray for us as we have journied. Praise God! Our ransomed daughter is with her family!

"And the ransomed of the LORD will return, And come with joyful shouting to Zion, With everlasting joy upon their heads. They will find gladness and joy, And sorrow and sighing will flee away."
-Isaiah 35:10

Spiritual Needs

2007-11-05T06:02:00.001-05:00

Sorry to be MIA for so long. We had a power outage in our building and therefore didn't have internet access for a while. The weekend passed uneventfully. Saturday offered a brilliant blue sky, so Robert immediately wanted to walk to the port and look out over the waters. The view was indeed beautiful. Brides once again gathered near the Opera House for photos in the bitter cold wind. Several wore fur coats over their gowns to make posing in the dropping temperatures tolerable. We walked to the Mother-in-Law Bridge again to take pictures of a newer tradition her in Odessa. All across the expanse of bridge are engraved locks hooked along the railing. Its quite a site and we walked part of the length of the bridge looking at the delicate gold locks and heavy padlocks with the names and dates of newlyweds inscribed. It appears that couples make their way to the bridge after the wedding ceremony and place their lock as a symbol of their unity. Robert wanted to know if the marriage doesn't work out if they cut the lock off. He's so un-romantic! :P

We walked to the big Russian Orthodox church in the square. Robert was curious to see inside, so we followed two old women through carved, heavy oak doors. I was concerned about not knowing proper ettiquette. Since the old women donned headcoverings, I improvised with my jacket hood. We crept up marble stairs to the entrance to the sanctuary. A hall opened before us with gold painted walls, intricate marble inlaid floors, and ornate artwork of saints, priests, and Christ painted across the ceilings and walls. There were a handful of women crossing theselves and lighting candles at the front of the hall. We tiptoed in and followed the walls around looking into the faces of reverred men and women of their faith. On one side of the hall, a priest stood chanting melodically and swinging incense. The smell made me breathe shallowly. He wore a long gray wool robe with gold thread embroidering the cuffs and neckline. His hair was pulled back into one long ponytail and he rocked gently back and forth as the bells on his chain rang in time to his motions. Worshippers wandered forward to place little pieces on paper on the table before him, prayer requests perhaps. A canopy of purple velvet arched across a gold and jewel enameled covered coffin at the opposite side of the hall. Plexiglass covered the open casket and the form of a body shrouded in muslim laid inside. We couldn't read the writing, but assume it must have been one of their priests. There were no pews, no chairs of any kind within the sanctuary. We later learned that the Russian Orthodox church believes it is disrespectful to sit in the presence of God. On our way out, a young priest in black robes nodded to us. He was a striking young man, almost seven feet tall. Robert took the opportunity to try and communicate with him about his faith. He spoke very little English, but tried to answer Robert's quesions. Without much luck, Robert gave up and we made our way back down the marble stairs.

The experience left us longing for familiar worship. We missed the opportunity to attend church last weekend, so we started searching for possibilities for the next morning. I remembered reading about American PCA missionaries on Jim's blog. I quickly found the link and a cell phone number for the missonary and Robert made the phone call. Bob Burnham and Robert chatted and he got directions and times for the next morning's worship service. The church was just across the square from us! In fact just steps from the Russian Orthodox Church we had visited that afternoon.

Sunday morning we found the building and was warmly welcomed inside by the youth standing out front. It was the largest collective of smiling faces that we have seen since being in Ukraine. We made our way to a rustic wooden pew in the middle and waited for services to begin. My attention was immediately peaked when I heard American voices behind us. A MTW representatve from the States, Rev. Shaw, was preaching that morning. He and his wife introduced themselves and another group of visting Americans behind them. A kind faced older man slid onto the pew next to Robert with two headsets and spoke swift Russian. We looked at him quizzically until he smiled and said "Hello! Welcome! I knew you were Americans!" in his perfect American accent. Dan Underwood is part of the mission team serving at the church. He and his wife are from Deleware. He offered us the headsets so that we could hear the Call to Worship translated into English. The music would be in Russian, but at least we would understand the sermon by Rev. Shaw and the announcements. When the music started, I was unprepared to hear the same hymns we had sung at our church before leaving for Ukraine. The emotions of how much I missed home and the familiar overcame me and I fought back tears. I whispered the words in English to the songs and our Ukrainian brothers and sisters in Christ sang along side of us in Russian. The service was long, two and half hours, but was satsfying. We were able to partake of communion and Dan invited us to have dinner with he and his wife on Wednesday evening. I want to encourage believers to take the time to contact your misions board in the States and find out if there are missionaries of like faith serving in the area you may be going to. They will be a source of grace and comfort during your time here. After two weeks, I can already sense the desire to return home. Many families will be here for many weeks or months to complete their adoptions. You will need all the help you can get.

We are planning on visiting the internot today and spending time with the children. Court is scheduled for tomorrow morning, 9:15. Please remember to lift us up in prayer.

Its all Russian to Me

2007-11-01T14:57:00.000-04:00

We awoke to the pinging of rain on the tin roof outside our window yesterday morning. The air was palpably cooler as autumn has placed her foot decidedly in the city of Odessa. Venturing into the damp streets, our breathe was visible as we chatted on where we would go. Robert wanted to see the port again so we wandered in that direction, but a stubborn gray curtain hung before the seaport, obstructing the view of the waters. We made our way back to the center of the city to look for lunch before making plans to visit the children at the orphanage. Inevitably, we always get stuck looking at buildings as we wander the city. If you look closely, there are the most remarkable plaster settings on the older builing, faces of girls, angels, lions, etc. We walked past the opera house where the bright pink roses were still struggling to bloom in the sinking temperatures and the wispy grass was receiving its final cutting of the season. The rain water mazed in angry torrents through the cobblestone streets of Deribasovskaya Street as we looked for someplace new to rest our feet. We found a quaint Italian resturant that offered a menu in Rusian/Italian/English. The meal was wonderful and under $15. A resturant of that caliber at home would have been at least $60 for lunch for two.

When we arrived at the internot, only a handful of boys were in the playroom. They were watching a kung fu movie and acting out scenes on each other as their intrest ebbed. Kola ran up to greet us and hugged me as hard as he could. Its good to see the kids growing more and more comfortable with us. Eventually Kristina and Lena wandered into the room. The two of them are joined at the hip, thick as thieves. They begged us to go to the music room and listen to them sing karaoke. We didn't understand a word they were singing, but they were singing and dancing around like they were on American Idol. It was hilarious! Before long it was time for the children to do their chores, so we headed home for the evening.

Lela Steele planned an outing to the movies today and invited us along. We met up at the internot this morning and rode with the children to the theatre. Our bus had seating for 18, but there were 40 people crammed onto it! Thankfully, the cinema was just down the road so we weren't packed in for long. We waited in the lobby for quite some time before going in. Robert decided the kids needed popcorn if they were going to properly watch a movie. You should have seen him going back and forth between the concession stand and the theatre passing out enough popcorn tubs to feed 70 people! The kids never get popcorn, so it was a real treat. I think it was more of a treat for Robert though. Can you believe that much popcorn was only $40?!? We watched the Bee Movie. It was all in Russian (seems to be a theme here), but we got the gist of it. After the movie, we rode back with Lela (to avoid being crushed on the bus!) and stopped off at McDonald's. It hit me as we were walking in, that this was the first place I had seen Kristina. I showed Robert the very spot she was standing when I took her picture. How strange to reflect on all that has occured in the last 18 months. We sat outside feeding french fries to little sparrows and talking about where God has brought us in this adoption and where He may still be asking us to go.

This evening Natasha took me to a book store around the corner from our apartment. Those of you who know me know I can spend hours in a bookstore. Even though most of the books were in Russian, the place had the same welcoming atmosphere as all good bookstores. Copies of the last book in the Harry Potter series graced the window fronts. Popular best sellers were recognizable by their covers. Wandering the rows, I found a couple of Russian-English workbooks for Kristina.

Not much to do this weekend; we will likely try to find the famous outdoor market and get lost there for awhile. We're waiting on one piece of paper that will allow us to have court on Tuesday morning. We won't know for sure until Monday when the SDA calls. Please pray that this all falls into place. Pray that we can find affordable airfare following court to come home for the waiting period.

Routine in a Foreign Place

2007-10-31T11:30:00.000-04:00

Hi, all-
We are settling into a routine of sorts here. Our body clocks still haven't totally adjusted to the time change, so we end up staying up quite late and rising later in the morning. Staying up late allows us to Skype our family back home and that is worth it. Rising late, we often skip breakfast and take an early lunch before heading to the internot. We've become quite comfortable with the bus system here (thanks Michelle, Sean and Tracey). Using the bus system gives us a bit more wiggle room in coming and going and it feels good to be able to navigate through the city on our own.

We arrive at the internot midday and play games with the children, walk the premises, pose for silly photos with the camera, and do crafts when Michelle comes. After several hours, we make our way back "home" and try to decide on what we will do for supper. Jeri has been great to loan us movies to watch. Oddly, its comforting to be able to hear extended English conversation. After a week and a half, we feel at ease here. Our hearts are knit to these kids and this place. So much so, we are considering what lies ahead for us. Our first thought is always, "How can we possibly afford to adopt one or two more?" The response is always, "How did we afford the first one?" We are trusting God for great clarity. It looks like we will have court at the beginning of next week. Comparitively, our time here has flown by and things have fallen in place in a remarkable way. Robert and I will come home immediately following court. When the waiting period is up (roughly 2 weeks), I will come back to Ukraine alone and navigate the final leg of the adoption by myself. It will be more cost effective for our family to break the trip up like this.

We are so thrilled to hear from a number of other families by comments and emails. You're words have encouraged us. We're glad to be on this journey together! Pray for us as we complete the next portion of the adoption. Pray that the issue with Kristina's father will be resolved tomorrow. Pray for us as we seek to know God's will concerning other children for our family.

About More than One Child

2007-10-29T17:32:00.000-04:00

Our apartment was filled with the citrus smell of home this morning. We deceided to take oranges to the children today. In order to have enough, we purchased three bags and then peeled and quarterd them for easy distribution. Michelle offered to go with us on the public transportation system again, so we headed out to the internot midmorning. The children are on autumn break this week and so there are no classes. Typically, they would be in school all day and we could only visit between 2-5, but they are free all day and we have the advantage of visiting at any time. Its always funny to see how our arrival will be announced. Inevitably, one of the children will spot us coming in the gate or up the main hall and they will race to wherever Kristina is shouting, "something, something, something, Mama and Papa!" In addition to the oranges, I picked up a Spiderman comic in Russian for the boys and a Barbie and Disney Princesses comic for the girls. They were so excited to have the reading material. The boys piled onto the rug in a semi-circle so they could all get a good view of the book. Leana, or as we have been calling her "Blue Eyes", squeezed onto the couch next to me and oohed and ahhed over Cinderella's dress. She punched out the paperdolls I brought and presented each doll in a new outfit for my inspection. Sasha challenged me to a rematch at Connect FOur and we played a few rounds again until Seroja offered to take me on. What a character he is! Missionary Lela Steele invited us to lunch, so we checked Kristina out and went to eat. What Kristina didn't finish, she brought back to share with her class.

We leave each day with the anticipation of going back the next day. Oddly, its not simply about seeing our daughter. We will be taking her home to America soon and will have all the time in the world with her. But our hearts have been captured by the children in her class. Exceptional children, beautiful children, children that no one knows about. But they are perfect and funny and deserving of their own family. No child deserves to be in an orphanage. And if you spent 10 minutes with any of these kids, you would fall head over heels in love too. Tonight, set aside your prayers for Roma, Sasha, Seroja, Aloyna, Karina, Leana, Adik, Kola, Sergi, and the others who need a bed of their own, a family of their own.

In the slideshow, I am including some pictures of the Odessa we walk through every day. This is a beautiful city filled with beautiful people. We have fallen in love with all of it.

Got Milk?

2007-10-27T17:35:00.000-04:00

I woke from a warm sleep to the sounds of drills and hammering this morning. There is a small cafe going in on the floor below us and the workers are there faithfully each morning. With nowhere to go and nothing to do this morning, I took Robert on a tour of the port area that lines the Black Sea. I followed the route Larisa had taken me on eighteen months ago trying to remember the history of passing building and romantic stories of the wishing well and the Mother in Law Bridge. When we made it to the newly refurbished Opera House, we found ourselves smack in the middle of an Odessa traditional. No fewer than twenty brides were gathered in the still blooming gardens surrounding the property. They posed for photos in the promenade of ancient buildings, or leaning across the branches of whimsical trees to share a kiss, or among towering columns overlooking the dark waters of the sea.

We decided to try the "cow resturant" that we have heard so much about and have seen countless pictures of its mascot gracing the sidewalk out front. Natalyia, they've recently painted the cow. I thought about Raisa as passerbys lifted their children atop the cow for a quick photo. You'll have to get a pic with her on the new one! The food was wonderful and we were once again shocked at how far the American dollar goes in this city. After lunch, we returned to the market to buy bananas for Kristina's class. Word to the wise, don't shop on Saturday! The place was packed, which made our exploration of the aisles for familiar items bothersome to our fellow shoppers.

Natasha called a taxi to take us out to the orphanage. We raced through the city as if we were late for an urgent appointment, our driver slipping in and out of traffic and using the train tracks at one point. We always have to discipline ourself from laughing at the absurdity of the driving style of the citizens. The car pulled down an alley and stopped outside a locked gray gate. The driver gestured towards the gate as if we should know what he meant. "Internot?" Robert asked. "Dah, Dah," he replied impatiently. We tumbled out of the car with the bananas for Kristina's class and stood dumbfounded in the muddy lane as the driver speed away. We were at a loss for any sense of direction and decided to just start walking. If we were in the wrong place, perhaps we could bride someone with our bananas to take us to the right place. We eventually came out along side the orphanage and found an open back gate. We made our way across the deserted playgrounds to the front of the orphanage. Two of the girls in Kristina's class saw us round the corner and began shouting something in Russian that ended with "Mama and Papa", which we assumed anounced our arrival. The children were sweeping the walkways around the orphanage with homemade brooms of twigs bound together. They worked to sweep golden leaves into little piles all along the lane so that it looked as if a leprechan had lost his treasure there in the yard. They greeted us with great joy and eyed the bag with the bananas. Kristina's caregiver came around to check that the children were completing their work. Robert complimented her on the children's work ethic and team work. "This is our home, so we keep it clean." she replied matter-of-factly. It was an obvious truth that we tend to forget. This has been home and family to Kristina for many years. She has a day to day life, schedule, and relationships here.

When the kids were finished cleaning, they follwed us like little ducks aound the property showing us where they played tag, the select roses in the little plot of earth that they had planted, and favorite stray dogs that called the internot home too. Kristina has been very generous to share our attention and affection with the other children. We are very proud of her humble gesture. Robert compared pocket flash lights with the boy and asked what they would like for him to bring next time for snack. It would have been easier to ask what they did not want! Juice! Apples! Cake! Oranges! Snickers bar! They have a very limited, bland diet and anything new is a treat. Remembering how much Kristina had enjoyed a glass of cold milk, Robert decided he wanted the children to have milk. He took off down the long muddly road to the closest market as darkness was falling around the orphanage. The children and I waited in their playroom for his return. Kristina and Leana became concerned when he didn't come back in the amount of time we had estimated it would take him to walk there and back. I got my coat and decided to walk down the path in the hopes of meeting up with him. As I exited the playroom, there was Robert, arms heavy with 11 quarts of ice cold milk. He said the market manager had stopped him when he had cleaned out just about all of the milk on the shelf. Obviously he wanted Robert to leave some for other patrons! The milk was more than Kristina's class could ever drink, so he walked the halls with the surplus putting a jug in a hand here and there. When he returned, Kristina had poured out glasses for everyone. She sat on the floor cradling the cup in the exact same way she had at our home, as if she was blocking everything else out to fully experience the ice cold treat. She was enjoying it so much, Robert asked her when was the last time she had had milk. "In America," she replied. "No, when did you drink milk last?" "At house in America," she emphasized again. It has been 13 months since she enjoyed the pleasure of a glass of cold milk. We were shocked to hear this and questioned the other children. One of the girls said she had milk two week ago. I was relieved to know milk was available, but couldn't understand why Kristina had gone without. When I questioned further, I found out that the milk they have is powdered milk and it must be mixed in hot water that has been boiled to kill the contamintes. Yuck! No wonder! We decided we will bring milk often. The children truely enjoyed it. At seven it was dinner time for the children and Kristina had kitchen duty pouring hot tea, so we kissed her goodnight and meet missionary Michelle on the front steps of the orphanage. She was kind enough to show us how to use the bus system to get from Internot 4 to our end of town. The experience was less frightening than the taxi, but it did take twice as long. What do you expect for 25 cents though!? We stopped off at Pan Pizza and had the pleasure of chatting and learning more about the orphanage system in Odessa and Michelle's incredible ministry to the children here. The evening was rounded out with laundry and a much needed call home to speak with the kids and mom. It truely sets our minds at ease to know that they are in her care. The children had questions about everything, but particularly wanted to know when we were coming home. That remains the million dollar question.

Owned by the Orphans

2007-10-26T16:11:00.000-04:00

We were able to make it to the orphanage today and Kristina was happy to see us. Her class has changed so much since I was here 18 months ago. Several of the children have been adopted by families who hosted through Frontier Horizon. Some have transferred to other classes and there are some children who, sadly, are new to the orphan system. In an attempt to get to know the new kids and to create a level of comfort, I broke out the Uno cards. A handful of kids plopped down on the rug in a circle as I broke open the new pack and dealt out the first hand. I told Kristina I wanted to tell all of children something and I would like her to translate for me. She nodded her serious little head and waited for what I wanted to share with the other kids. "Please tell the children that your momma is going to beat them at this card game." She smiled her mischevious smile and translated to the attentive group what I had said. Immediately shy Alyona's cards went up to hide her smile. Adik emphtically declared "No, you not!" in his broken English. After four hands, I'm ashamed to admit that I was spanked at Uno by the Ukrainian orphans. Sean, you were right, they do play by different rules. I caught on quickly, but they still schooled me with great joy. When Uno got old, the boys showed me cards tricks that would rival some street magicians. They piled on the couch like puppies by Robert trying to get a good view of the video camera as he played back footage of our time in Kiev. Robert was instantly attached to all of them. I knew this would happen. These children are such beautiful gems. Anyone would be blessed to have them in their family.

Wanting some one-on-one time, Kristina took Robert on a tour of the orphanage. We were able to meet her music teachers who teared up during introductions. Its clear to see that many of these caregivers love the children they work with. It will be difficult to say goodbye when the time comes.

We felt a little embarassed about showing up empty handed to the orphanage, so we got permission to take Kristina and walk down the road to a market. The area where the orphanage is located is a dreary place. Mud platted with fallen leaves covers the roads, sidewalks, and driveways. We picked our way around mud holes and pools of rain water while trying to avoid the traffic that whizzed by at extreme speeds. At the market, Kristina lined the bottom of a wire basket with 14 juice boxes and a pack of cookies to share with her class. When we came to the check out she chatted with the checkout girl as if she had known her a lifetime. On the walk back she asked if we would come again tomorrow, and maybe the next day, and what about next week? Back at the internot she distributed the goodies to anxious hands that gobbled up the cookies. Ashley, Greshia found his way to the playroom when he heard there were treats to be had. We gave him the envelope and he tore it open instantly. He gets cuter every time I see him!

Quiet Sasha set up the Connect Four game opposite me on the floor and nobly gestured for me to go first. As I considered my next move, Kristina whispered in my ear, "Mama, you find family for Sasha? He is good boy." What do you say to that kind of request? We had time for several games of Connect Four (held my own there) and photos before it was time to head out. We hadn't eaten all day and were starving. Jeri and Natasha invited us to join them at a Japanese resturant down the street that turned out to be quite good. Nataha is leaving on the train back to Kiev tonight to spend the weekend at home with family, so we will be on our own until Monday night. Nebraska missionary Michelle has invited us to brave the bus system with her tomorrow and show us the ropes of public transit in Odessa. We'll meet up with her in the morning and make our way over to the orphanage. Thanks to everyone for the kind prayers on Robert's behalf. He is better today, but still needs a little rest to fully recooperate. Please pray that the paperwork we anticipate being done on Monday will in fact be finished and can be sent to Kiev for approval at the SDA. We want to keep the ball rolling on this adventure!

Lisa, thanks for the advice on which milk we should have bought. I'm heading back to the grocery store in the Greek Square tomorrow and will try again!

Jim-I met Tolik yeaterday and instantly name dropped. He immedaitely lit into your sauna experience and I was tickled to hear it all over again from his perspective. I'm hoping we can go and worship with them on Sunday. What a great guy! I also mentioned you when I met Scott here at the apartment. Everyone lights up when they hear your name. What an impression you left on this city!

Kim B., I owe you big time for the Survivor update. I can't believe I can watch it on the website. Pray that my connection is fast enough to download it!

Pam, which pizza place did you guys eat at? Pizza City? Pan Pizza?

Kristen, yeah I thought that name would be better than Kristina Panera Landrum. What was Whit thinking? My mom is at the house with the kids. You know you're always welcome there!

Lucia, thanks for the specifics for Aerosvit luggage requirements. Those of you flying Aerosvt should check Lucia's blog for the details. It will save you a major headache at the airport. The Wollschlagers had a problem with their luggage too and it would be a good idea to read their experience.

Kristina Hope

2007-10-25T15:42:00.000-04:00

Its after midnight here and the constant tapping of rainwater on the tin overhang outside our apartment window has played the same melody all day. I just finished a Skype phone call with my friend Cindy and it was good to hear her voice from the other side of the world. Its been a rather slow day. I slept until 8 this morning and felt better after a full night's sleep in a bed. Robert, however, came down with a stomach bug and has felt lousy all day. Our appointment at the notary wasn't until 2pm and visiting hours at the orphanage are from 2-5, so we had plenty of time to take things easy. We hung out at the apartment and I decided to have cereal for breakfast since Robert wasn't feeling well enough to venture out. We had picked up some basic food staples at the grocery store with Sean last night. I cracked open my HoneyNut Cheerios (thank goodnes for the little bee or I wouldn't have recognized the box) and proceeded to pour milk on them. The milk here is very different from the milk at home. I got the 2.5 % and when I poured it, it was as thick as cream. I've heard that the milk is much richer here, but didn't anticipate that. Too much of a wimp to try it, I poured it out. I curled up at the foot of the bed and ate dry cereal out of the box while I surfed the satellite tv selections. Now, those of you who've been here already, can just imagine my shock of being exposed to that with my Cheerios. There are only a handful of English speaking news channels available. Other than that, the choices fall between Russian gangster rap videos, A-Team reruns with French dubbing, Arab news stations, and "adult" entertainment. So I flipped off the tv and got online to surf the blogs I frequent and read my email.

Natasha showed up at one and flipped through our family album and chatted until it was time to go. We walked the 10 blocks to the notary and planted ourselves in the chairs outside of the office. One of the things we had to do was fill out paperwork that identified Kristina's new legal name. She did not have a middle name so we needed to decide on one. In the back of my mind, I always knew what it would be. We wrote out her new name "Kristina Hope Landrum" for the notary to put on all the paperwork. It just seemed fitting.

Our plan was to have the papers drawn up and notarized and then head over to the orphanage to spend some time with Kristina. Robert was still feeling awful, but was determined to go. He brought a bunch of bananas and a package of candy from the grocery store to share with the children. As many of you will learn, Ukrainian time lines and American time lines don't always , well, line up. What I thought would be a 30 minute pitstop turned out to be a two and a half hour version of musical chairs. I begrudgingly called missionary Lela Steele (originally from Ocala, Florida) at the orphanage and asked her to let Kristina know we weren't going to make it. We trudged back to the apartment in the steady drizzle and settled in. Kim B. in Kentucky emailed me this verse today:

These things won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day. - Habakkuk 2:3

How appropriate.

Robert spent the rest of the day resting in the apartment and I decided to venture out for dinner alone since I hadn't eaten since my psychologically scarring Cherrios fiasco. I took my bright red umbrella and wandered a few blocks down to a pizza place we had passed on the way to the notary. Women dressed in fur lined jackets hurried past me to escape the cold that is settling over Odessa. It seems like many of the women here wear the same hauntingly sweet purfume that lingers just to remind you that beauty has passed. The people here are exquisite. I had to wrestle with the practicality of watching where I stepped to avoid the pools of gathering rain water among the cobblestones, verses the visual feast of the residents of Odessa. To make a long story short, I ended up with wet feet.

Robert, who has never traveled out of the country, was immediately smitten with Ukraine. He claims he has never seen such beautiful people, stunning architecture, or eaten such amazing food in all his life. He tells me he will move here and experience this everyday. He practices the four Russian words (Da, nyet, spa-ce-ba [thank you], dask-ve-danya [goodbye]) he knows on every poor Ukrainian he meets until we have to teach him a new word so he won't be mistaken for a Ukrainian kid who rides the short bus.

I made it to the pizza resturant and was able to communicate with the waiter what I wanted to order and that it was to go. It was a combination of pointing and charades, but it did the job. He tied a neat little yellow ribbon around my small pizza box and I strolled the path home, not caring that the pizza grew colder as I lingered to look in a shop window or listen to music coming from a club. At one corner I paused to wait for the light to change when two Ukrainian women struck up a conversation with me. When I told them that I did not speak Russian, they looked surprised. Am I starting to blend in? Doubtful, but it sure would be an honor to be part of this beautiful city. At least I will be the mother of a Ukrainian girl.

My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. - Psalm 62:5

Pictures from Kiev

2007-10-25T13:51:00.000-04:00

Just a word of advice to those bringing a camera on your adoption journey (and you should!). I brought my beloved SLR camera and it has been quite the burden. I brought a similar camera on my previous trip and it was okay because I was in the orphanages all day, out of the weather, and where I had time to consider the shots before I took them. Its a whole different thing when you're here to adopt. Bring a point and shoot camera that you can easily slip in your pocket or shoulderbag, not something you have to remove lens covers for and unlock equipment bags everytime you want to shoot something. There's simply not time on this type of whirlwind trip. Plus, if you have a newer point and shoot, chances are you can take short video clips and pack even lighter by leaving your camcorder at home. Just my two cents. Sorry for the dark photos; I don't have access to camera software on this computer. (:P U)

Closed Doors are Just Doors Waiting to be Opened

2007-10-24T13:24:00.000-04:00

I have never been on a train before and was looking forward to the experience. We had a private sleeper compartment for Robert, Natasha (our facilitator) and myself. It was a crash course in learning to become comfortable with one another. The sleeper compartment consisted on two bunks, side by side, with a small aisle between them. We took the time to chat and get to know each other before turning in. The train left at 10pm and was scheduled to arrive in Odessa at 6am, so Natasha suggested we try to get some sleep because the next day would be a long one. Robert climbed into the top bunk (Natasha and I voted him there) and we set up camp in the bottom bunks. For those of you traveling by train to your region, the experience is "unique". Firstly, I have heard the horror stories about the bathroom, basically a filthy hole in the floor. I was determined NOT to need to use the facilities until we made it to our destination. But, sure enough, I couldn't wait. Thankfully, we were in one of the renovated cars. That basically meant a traditional western toliet on a filthy floor. It could have been worse. Using these facilities without falling over or giving yourself a concussion is an art in itself. I compared notes with Robert , and obviously its worse for you guys who have to attempt to balence in a rocking and pitching car. I know, too much information.

I thought sleeping on the train would be a dream. I anticipated being lulled to sleep by the gentle sway of the railcars. I laid there for quite some time trying to find some sort of rhyme or reason for the movement that jerked and dipped in irregular patterns. In the darkness my eyes followed the shadows cast across the car interior by passing lights on the track. The lingering cigarette smoke for previous tenants seemed to be part of every inch of the compartment. After laying there for what seemed an eternity, I felt myself slip away. I awoke when the train lurched to a hissing stop and Russian voices could be heard outside our window. I conceeded to myself that that wasn't too bad a journey. It was tolerable. I sat up to stretch and Natasha told me only one hour had passed. We were far from our destination. Eventually the train groaned forward, protesting its journey south. This happened four more times before we rolled into Odessa at 6:19 am. Robert and I probably slept a total of 15 minutes the whole night. Add that to the jet lag and we felt dead in the water before our day had even begun.

We stepped off the train into a drizzling rain. How appropriate that the weather I had left Odessa in a year and a half ago would greet me upon my return. We made our way in the shadow of the Odessa train station through babushkas offering available apartments and middle aged men proffering taxi rides as our luggage tapped mercilessly on the slick cobblestone pavement to our waiting ride. We arrived at our apartment before seven and were greeted by a bleary eyed desk attendant who was unsure about our reservation. We would need to wait until Masha the reservation agent came in at 8am. Not wanting to venture back out into the damp darkness of the early morning, we sunk down on the cold marble steps. Natasha text messaged another adopting family staying in the building and Jeri, the mom, invited us up. We found refuge in the warmth and fellowship found in the little apartment. She and her husband are here adopting a 16 year old boy from Kristina's orphanage. She proved to be a wealth of information and a much needed reminder of God's hand in all of these events. As we were chatting, a knock on the door announced Sean and Tracey's arrival. Its strange to express the kinship formed with people you have never met, but who have impacted your journey in such a profound way. We felt blessed that Sean could stay back and offer his hard won wisdom on what to expect in the adoption process as Tracey went to iron out last details for their evening departure to Kiev. We headed over to the Greek Square and had breakfast with Jeri and Sean helped us buy a phone that we will need over the coming weeks.

We retunred to the apartment a short time later hoping it would be ready and we would have a chance to shower and change out of our travel worn clothing, but we learned the apartment would not be ready until after 11. Before we could grieve that fact, Natasha called to inform us that we would be meeting with officials from the mayor's office in an hour. We left our bags with Jeri and headed out. We arrived at the building and made our way to a hallway lined with closed dooors. Everywhere we went, heavy oak doors gave an unwelcoming feeling to those waiting hopefully on the outside. We knocked on the one and waited. After a short while a pleasant looking older woman invited us in. The fact that she and Natasha laughed as they spoke put me at ease. She looked over our documents and confirmed that Kristina does not have any siblings. She then sent Natasha out with a paper that would need to be typed and signed by the "big official". Thirty seconds later we found ourselves standing back in the hallway staring at closed doors once again. We were told that we could wait for the document (which we would need before we could go to Kristina's orphanage). About an hour later we had the paper and were headed to internot 4.

We specifically asked our facilitator if we could record Kristina as she came in and were told that it wouldn't be a problem. We were invited into the social workers's office. I immediately recognized the woman from my trip a year and half ago. I was with Vinny of Frontier Horizon and he introduced us and invited us to sit and chat in that very same room. She offered me chocolates and before we left she said she knew I was a good woman and had insisted I take a bottle of Odessa Champagne as a gift. Robert and I introduced ourselves and then I asked Natasha to inquire if the woman remembered me from a previous visit. She looked into my face and her eyes grew big as she nodded that she did remember. She proceeded to go through Krstina's file and give us her social, health, psychlogical, and academic background. Much of it we knew, though there were a few gray areas. I think that's true of the background of many of these children. We then went to the director's office where she asked how we knew Kristina (from my mission trip last year), how many chilredn we had (again raised eyebrows), and their ages. We returned to the social workers office to sign some forms as she called down for Kristina to be sent up.

Now, I know many of you will be disappointed to hear this (U), but we did not get video of Kristina coming into the office. Apparently, she was standing by the phone in the playroom and heard that her family had come. She raced across the building and burst into the office where Robert and I were sitting on either side of the door. Standing between us at arms length, she tried to compose herself but was unable to stand still as the social worker address her. The social workerer asked if she knew who we were and she nodded with bouncing braids and whispered, "Mama and Papa". The social worker indicated to her that it was okay to speak to us. She flung her arms around my neck and kissed my cheeks. I hung on to her for a long time before releasing her to Robert who did the same. He choked out that he had missed her and she said she had missed him too. Everyone in the office was overcome with tears at the powerful emotions as we were reunited.

The social worker said she would do what she could within her power to help the adoption run smoothly and indicated that she would have our paperwork ready for Monday. Once the paperwork is done, it is sent to the SDA office in Kiev, approved, and then we can set a court date. That sounds simple, but there are many hands that these papers must pass through and it must all be coordinated in order for it to happen in a timely fashion. Additionally, there is an issue that must be resolved. In order to do so, Kristina's birth father must sign off on some paperwork. Our facilitator will visit him before the weekend to try and resolve this. Please pray that this will be uneventful and that no one will take advantage of the situation.

We were allowed to take Kristina out for an early dinner and spend about 2 hours with her. She is the same Kristina with springs for feet and a silly attitude. After returning Kristina to the orphanage, Sean gave us a walk though at the grocery store so we could stock our kitchen. We also had the pleasure of meeting Maria who is adopting a girl from #5. There is one other family that arrived today and is also staying in our building. While we grieve the fact that we couldn't have more time with Sean and Tracey, we are encouraged that we wll be surrounded by other American families on the same path. We are overjoyed to be back together, but already aching to head home. Thank you for all the encouragment and prayer. Please pray for the O'Hara's as they begin their journey home through Kiev tonight and back to their other children later this week. Good night for now. Its time for me to get out of these train clothes and head to bed.

Odessa Bound

2007-10-23T12:35:00.001-04:00

I actually have to start from last night so I can give you the whole story, so bear with me. We had dinner at TGI Fridays rather early and we only split an appetizer and a dessert, so Robert decided at about 10pm last night that it was time to try Ukrainian food. We went down to the restaurant in the hotel and had Borsch soup and Chicken Kiev. There are a lot of British guests in the hotel and we found out that a series of big Manchester soccer games going on. The arena is right behind the hotel. We can literally open our window and see the field. I'll post pics once I get to Odessa.

Thank you for the thoughtful comments. Its humbling to hear that so many of you prayed for us today. We slept late and went down for the hotel's breakfast buffet. After breakfast we milled about, not wanting to stray too far from the hotel. Our travel clock broke in the journey over, so I called down to the desk to set the clock in the room. Dima said he would meet us in the lobby at 1:30 since our appointment was at 2. At about 1:20, he called from the lobby wondering where we were. It seems the receptionist gave us the wrong time. We were only off by 10 minutes, but it was just enough to put me on edge. We threw on our shoes (well, I threw on my boots. Natalyia, Robert said I looked Ukrainian from the knees down. Ha!) and scrambled to gather our passports and photo album. We left the hotel about 8 miutes off schedule. I sat in the back seat calming myself with the knowledge that God is in control. I had to remind myself that the SDA doesn't give out appointments for families to travel here just to tell them in person, "Um, we don't want you to adopt one of our children." Dima said the entire meeting would take about 5 minutes. I didn't believe that it would go that quickly, but I nodded in agreement. I kept watching the minutes tick by on the dashboard clock as we speed through town. 1:46. 1:53. 1:58! We pulled up right at 1:59 and jumped from the car. I had to jog to keep up with Dima. Just a side note here, ladies. The office is at the top of a rather steep hill with a very uneven cobble stone pavement. And here I was in my new boots with heels. What a sight I was trying to navigate (while running) up the pavement to the gated entrance.

When we reached the gate there were about 5 facilitators and one adopting couple standing around waiting for the gate to open. The other facilitators immediately recognized Dima and greeted him warmly. It made me think of the Proverbs 31:23 passage. Dima is obviously a well respected man.

My first reaction to seeing the entrance locked was, "Why is the gate shut and locked? Oh my goodness, please tell me we didn't miss our appointment!" One of the facilitators looked stressed and kept asking something of the guard on the other side of the gate. Each time he would reply, 'nyet'. Dima got the same response when he asked something. Don't panic, don't panic.

Just then, the door swung open and out walked one of the workers to fetch us in for our meeting. She was the translator who would accompany us in our meeting; she indicated that we should follow her. She was very kind and soft spoken. We followed the stairs up to the second floor and were shown into an office. The two women (one SDA worker and the translator) invited us to sit on the couch. The SDA worker and the translator sat across from us in chairs and Dima sat to our left to observe the meeting. The SDA worker asked us to introduce ourselves (names) and then asked to see our passports. She asked if we were there to adopt Kristina to which we replied in the affirmative. I could see that she had a Kristina's paper in her hands and I caught a glimpse of her photo in the upper left hand corner. It was just a fleeting look, but I could see how small and young she was when she entered the system. And suddenly I was reminded why I was here. The worker asked how I knew Kristina. I told her that I had met Kristina on a mission trip over a year ago. She nodded as the translator relayed my answer. She asked if we had any children. We said yes, we have four. She asked what their ages were. When we told her she raised her eyebrows and said, "You are determined to have big family, yes?" We laughed and replied that we did. She then placed Kristina's file in our hands. It was just one page all in Russian with a tiny photo of her in the corner. She asked if this was the child we wanted to adopt. I felt myself tearing up at the magnitude of this moment and I nodded in response. She asked if we wanted to know Kristina's history. We told her we did and she told us that Kristina was born in Odessa and her mother is deceased. Her father was awarded custody and then had his rights repealed by the courts. That is when she entered the system. She has no brothers or sisters, is a beautiful and friendly child according to the orphanage. That was all the specific info that they could provide us with, the orphanage would give us details if we wanted them. Before we could show them the pictures we brought, she said, "We are happy to give you referral for this girl." Time from start to finish: 5 minutes. I had planned to have pictures of this monumental event, but to be honest it was a blur. I wanted to have a picture outside the SDA, a copy of the file picture of Kristina, a picture after our appointment, but we didn't take any! Oh well!

We thanked the workers and headed back to the car. That was it! Dima asked if we wanted to travel to Odessa on the 10 pm overnight train and we indicated that we did. He said he would have the paperwork by 5 and send it with us. Amazing! We know things will not work this smoothly at every turn, but we are thankful for these little steps. We went back to the hotel and changed clothes. We had several hours to kill so we decided to venture downtown and check out Independence Square. We wandered around the underground mall and up the hill to one of the beautiful cathedrals. We stopped at an authentic Ukrainian restaurant on the way back and had dinner. The prices are amazing. We each had more food than we could possibly eat in a really nice resturant for under $15.00. Our facilitator Natasha will be meeting us in the lobby at 9pm to take us to the train station. I just wanted to let you know where we were in the journey. Don't stop praying for us now, though. We have a long road still ahead of us.

I Don't Want No American Food!

2007-10-22T13:37:00.000-04:00

It seems strange to be writing this from the business center of our hotel in Kiev (pardon the typos, strange keyboard here). You imagine many times how the adoption experience will play out in the many months leading up to this, but its another thing altogther to be living the reality of it. But let me back up a bit . . .

Our seven hour layover at JFK turned out to be uneventful and even comic as Robert and I expended nervous energy pacing the airport. Just a heads up for those of you who plan on flying Aerosvit, we had an issue with the weight of our carryon luggage. I can't remember what the weight limit is (check their site), but both our bags were grossly overweight. We tried to repack things into our check bags and still couldn't get the issue settled. I ended up having to check my carryon. Mark and Theresa also had this problem. So you might want to take that into consideration.

When we got to JFK, I looked everywhere for Mark and Theresa feeling certain that I could pick them out from the crowd of travelers we passed, but I wasn't able to locate them. When the boarding announcement was made, I scurried over to a shop to grab some last minute things. As I was making my way back to Robert seated just past our gates I heard my name whispered from the line of people waiting to board. There was Theresa with a cell phone perched on her shoulder and bags in hand. I was so happy to see her that I hugged her immediately. Mark introduced himself and I knew God had blessed us to have their company on the flight across. Our flight was packed and the Dramamine I had taken kicked in as soon as I got situated on board. I found myself dozing off within minutes of being seated. I fought to stay awake, but found myself slipping away everytime I was still. Theresa and Mark were seated directly behind us, so when I was able to regain consciousnous, we were able to compare notes and get to know each other. What an amazing couple! They have such a heart for their kids and have made great sacrifices to pursue their adoption.

Mark said there was some intense turbulence at one point of the flight, but thankfully we were asleep for it! Robert sat by the window and looked at the passing planes and changing landscape. He has decided that he wants to go to New Finland based on his areiel view of it. :P We arrived on time to Kiev. Now, let me explain the immigration situtaion as we experienced it. I was terribly worried about how it would work, but it turns out that it wasn't a problem at all. We filled out immigration cards on the plane (very simple form) and then filed into the immigration office. Theresa and I scanned the rows to see which official looked like he/she was having a good day so we could get in their line, but it didn't much matter. A serious looking man (aren't they all?) looked over the forms, stamped them a few times, and waved us through. We gathered our luggage (which all made it!) and then filled out the declaration forms in the next area. FYI: there are carts at the luggage carousels and they are free. So you'll have that to help you navigate through the rest of the airport if you bring a lot of stuff. All pretty standard except the part where you have to declare how much money you're bringing into the country. This was the part we had been dreading. We filled out the forms and approached a desk with a friendly looking woman. Was the money for business? We told her it was for an adoption. She wanted to know if the amount we wrote down was all we had brought. Yes. Were we sure? Yes. Was there money in our bags? No. She asked to see the money. Ugh. I placed the envelopes discreetly on the counter. She looked in one envelope and quickly indicated to me to put it all away. Phew! That was it! We walked out the doors immediataly behind the desk and there was smiling Dima and our driver Nikolai holding a sign with our name.

Nikolai loaded our bags in his minivan and off we went through Kiev. It was amazing to see new modern building sprouting along side of older building rich with architecture and history. We made it to our hotel, got checked in, and made our way to our room. It took a minute to figure out that you have to insert your room key in a slot by the door to make the electricity work in the room! The room key also operates the elevator. Good stuff to know. Wish we would have known it before exasperating a French couple who got in the elevator after us. We took a short nap and woke up famished. Unfortunately, we arent' staying in the same hotel as the Fischer's or Mark and Theresa, so we were on our own. The receptionist said it would be about a hour walk to get to the other families' hotels and we weren't up for that kind of hike. We found out the famous TGI Friday's was only about a ten minute walk from where we are staying so we ventured out into the city. We had a business card from the hotel in pocket in the event that we got lost and needed to hire a taxi to bring us back! Just as the receptionist had promised, we happened upon the resturant and sat down for a meal. Robert fought me on eating here initially. He wanted to eat local cuisine, but I reminded him that Ukrainian food was going to be our main diet for the next few weeks. I convinced him that we should have one more taste of American food before we left for our region. His response was the title for this evening's post, but we ate at TGI Friday's anyway. On the walk home, he kept stopping and perusing the menus of local eateried, grumbling under his breathe about real Ukrainian food. The city is gorgeous at night and we took a detour through a local market with meat, produce, flower, and caviar vendors. I got some great shots, but this computer isn't allowing me to upload any of them. When we get to Odessa, I will post pics.

Well, let me bring this post to an end. We have our appointment tomorrow at 2pm with the SDA. Please pray that things go smoothly. We will be taking the night train to our region after the appointment. Touch base with everyone again soon! Night!

Here we go . . .

2007-10-21T18:40:00.001-04:00

Leslie

Welcome to JFK, Please enjoy your 7 Hour Layover!

2007-10-21T12:55:00.000-04:00

Woke up with a great sense of peace this morning. We got out the door
almost 40 minutes later than we had planned, but we made incredible time
to the airport. The good byes were low key, thankfully, and we were
through check in and security faster than I have ever been. JetBlue into
JFK was a breeze with the exception of some turbulence right before
landing. Robert is not a seasoned travelor, so he was a little shaken by
the experience (in a totally macho way).

So now we wait. I forgot to ask Theresa what time she and Mark would be
flying into JFK. I guess we'll know her by the "Ukraine or Bust!"
t-shirt she'll be sporting!
:)
Leslie

Late Night Prayer

2007-10-20T23:35:00.000-04:00

Can't sleep. I know I should, but my mind's going a mile a minute. Its
self imposed anxiety. I hate saying goodbye to the kids. They don't seem
to comprehend just how long I'll be gone. Quite frankly, neither can I.

I'm sure once I'm on the plane and we're on our way, I'll be fine. But
the hours between then and now are stretching out before me. Do I have
everything? Doubtful, but we'll live. Two carry ons and two bags to
check. I like to travel light, so this is a lot of stuff for me.

I'm so glad Robert will be with me this time. He says I've been driving
him nuts the last few days. Don't know why or how, but I'm sure he's
probably right. Pray for peace for me. I want to learn the lessons God
has for me in this leg of the journey, but I'm afraid. There's a
grieving that takes place for leaving behind the life I've known with my
family of six. Adding one more will bring its own blessings and
challenges. Those of you who are so persuaded, pray for us.
Leslie

Shrinking World

2007-10-17T21:22:00.000-04:00

I can't believe how quickly time has passed since we learned of our SDA appointment date. We leave on Sunday and my head is spinning with the details of it all. There are three half packed suitcases in the floor of our bedroom. The entire process seems completely out of my grasp and I find myself talking to God a lot more in the countdown.

My best friends rescued me with that much needed Starbucks break. We sat around sipping our drinks, catching up on recent events, and discussing what's coming. I love these women. They're full of wisdom, advice, and encouragement. I will miss their presence while I'm in Ukraine.

The blog world seems to be shrinking some. Our friends the Wollschlagers actually managed to get on the same flight as us out of JFK, so Theresa and I can chat to our hearts content on the way to Eastern Europe. We're also staying in the same Kiev hotel. We have a dinner date in Kiev with the Fischers who are going to adopt their girls and have an appointment the same day as us. I am thankful to have the time of fellowship with both of these families before we go to our separate regions to bring our children home. In Odessa we'll be able to meet Natalyia and Oleg who will be coming a few days behind us. Hopefully we'll have the opportunity for dinner and boot comparisons. As much as I would love to meet up with Sean and Tracey, I pray they are out of Odessa long before we get there. Maybe our paths will cross in Kiev on their way out. As exciting as it will be to meet face to face with many of the people we've communicated with via the internet in the last year, I'm beginning to feel anxious about the journey. Jim emailed me tonight to remind me that Christ has gone before us. That helps tremendously. Thanks, Jim.