Thursday, May 08, 2008

Liar, Liar

Guess what phase Kristina is going through. Not that this is my first time dealing with this issue; all of my children have tried on their fire britches at some stage. Thankfully, their conscience usually got the best of them, they confessed, and quickly learned the consequences of lying. Kristina, however, has been a tough cookie. Even when confronted with the truth, she digs her toes in and clings to the lie. I haven't known exactly what to do with this; its been a difficult thing to process. Sometimes when she does confess her transgressions, I find myself tensing for the next time, not fully able to let go.

As always, God has chosen to teach me through this experience. We are abundantly blessed to have Dr. Don Kistler as a Sunday school teacher. His lessons are the kind that Robert and I find ourselves still talking about and wrestling with days and even weeks later. We completed a series on forgiveness recently and I was unpleasantly surprised to learn how short I have fallen in this area. At one point, Dr Kistler raised the question, "Why does God not grow weary with us continually asking for forgiveness?"

I never really thought about that before. Our omniscient God knows when we sin against Him. He knows the sincerity of our repentance. And He knows when and if we'll commit that sin again. If He knows we'll sin against him in the same manner in the next moment, how is He able to extend abundant grace and forgiveness to us? I was struck by Dr Kistler's answer, "God never grows weary of forgiving because He is able to manifest His true nature in the act of forgiveness. He joys in offering mercy."

I understand that there is no greater act of forgiveness than what my Father did by sending His Son to the cross on behalf of my transgression. What I didn't fully grasp is how we are like the Father when we forgive . . . repeatedly . . . without guarantee from future trespasses, and with great joy. It sheds light on my difficulty with letting things go, which in essence, is a pride issue. I haven't found joy in the act of extending mercy and forgiveness like I should. Pray that I will be conformed to the image of the Father and in so doing, will show my daughter the depth of His love.

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry for ever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.
- Micah 7:18,19


Melissa E. said...

We haven't seen much lying since Steve decided to show the "Hot" potential of a lie by, following the usual punishment, adding a drop of hot sauce to the tip of their tongues. I thought this was a little overboard but it seems to have "cooled" this habit! Of course, ours are much smaller than yours.

Anyway, we also have had to deal with the lying issue with our boys although we never had to do that with our girls. Except that now our littlest girl is trying out her hand at it.

Last night I asked her, "Did you get you nightie on and get your diaper and sit on your bed like I asked?" (I was looking right at her) "Yes." Said my little darling, standing ON THE FLOOR in nothing but her underpants!

As far as the forgiveness thing...
It also reminds me of the Lord's prayer, "Forgive us OUR debts as we forgive those who tress pass against us". I have often had to stop and think, "Do I really want the way I forgive others to be my standard for how God forgives me?"

Usually not.

Nataliya said...

I think our kids had to lie a lot in the orphanages in order to survive. I've seen some of it in Rachel, and I'm not a happy camper about that. I guess it takes time for them to understand that they don't need to lie in the family...

Anonymous said...

Dear Leslie, I check in here for life instruction from you from time to time. I have no clue what one had to do to survive in an orphanage but it's kinda clear that Kristina was no push over isn't it?

Just wondering - is there a general pattern of behavior she's trying to cover - same type of things or events that might show she feels a lack in herself or in others? I have no clue about these things.

And it's true that there are plenty of children around who never saw the inside of an orphanage but still might have the same need to cover up. I would value your thoughts.
Thanks, David

Ashley said...

Thank you for this.....

- And yes, my friends moved to Orlando. :) I really need to come for a visit because I have ya'll and them to see. :) Maybe one day we can come after Grisha gets here. It will be fun to get our families together.

Jim H. said...

Oh my, this is a huge issue with our younger daughter, who lies instinctively.

And I can totally relate to how it brings our sin to surface! It's interesting how being lied to can result in such resentment.

This is a good reminder of how futile and sinful that response is.


ArtworkByRuth said...

Love the grafics! I am glad you are learning about dealing with the lying stage. I would rather you tell me something mean, than tell me a lie. I'll keep checking for your progress to help me when we get there too! God Bless!

junglemama said...

We just went through this too. ((hugs))